My dom has lost interest. No matter what I do I cant get him to play. It's been 30 days since we've played. There's no stress at work etc. I've tried to talk to him and he says nothing's wrong. I'm stressed from not being able to play. I've explained this to him and his reply was fine go fuck someone. I said I dont want to fuck others are you done with me? Which i got was no. I'm not arguing. So what m i suppose to do?
Hi traveling girl--
It is not that unusual for those in online relationships ( in real life, too) to either use or experience silence as a punishment, or as a needle, or maybe to send the message you fear most--he's distracted with someone else...in any case, it is as often as not a deliberate thing, even if those old "I was too busy" excuses get trotted out later...
Might be time to start looking around, or at least harden your heart... sorry to be the bearer of bad news...
I'm basing my response purely on my own experience (vanilla, but I think it still applies) because that is all I can do. I would advise you to leave him, unless he can give you an actual reason. Maybe not yet, if this is recent, but it doesn't bode well. In my experience (and from what I have found, the experience of many others), this does not get better, only worse. And for heaven's sake, do NOT marry him unless this is resolved. (Not saying you were thinking about it, but learn from me. )
There are actual reasons that people can have lulls in their sex drive or connection, and in any relationship, partners need to be willing to work through and wait through those, I think. But if he won't even talk about it then he isn't making an effort to work through it, and that likely means that the reason is either something that should be relationship ending or he isn't willing to determine what the problem actually is. Just my opinion...
How girls are always attracted to the stoic, hard-nosed bad-boys is one of life's unexplainable paradoxes. After their relationship ensues, the strong silent-types who were never comfortable with open communication in the first place, leave you hanging (no pun intended).
After knowing him this long, do you know if he would tell you if there were financial problems? Medical problem that would prevent him from performing?
It sounds like it is something he is embarrassed about enough to keep it secret. A mistress perhaps?
Are you supposed to have the power to read his mind???
Sounds like he is stressed or embarrassed by something or trying to avoid outright conflict for whatever reason and try to upset you enough so that you leave on your own and he does not feel like the bad guy.