I don’t believe the realm bdsmIs for me.

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} • Jan 17, 2021

Self-doubt in this lifestyle is occasional. I have had moments where I felt like I might not be a submissive and doubted if even the lifestyle was for me. But then I would read people's blogs, experiences, etc.. Converse with friends in the lifestyle and realize that I am interested in it, that it is who I am. So the issue is not you, it is who you are talking to. Domination and Submission needs to be based on a deep connection (at least for me) so if you are speaking with people who are only going to shame or lead you on, you will most definitely feel like the only being standing in an empty desert.

Patience is not my virtue but, I have learned that it is an absolute necessity in this lifestyle. We all have people with whom we are fated, the waiting game is hard but definitely worth it.

Hang in there
~C

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Jan 17, 2021

I don’t believe the realm bdsmIs for me.

It’s been utterly disappointing. ("IT" isn't enough information. BDSM is only one aspect. You have power exchange, topping/bottoming, Ms, Ds and those who switch.)

Perhaps my standards/expectations are at a high altitude. (Unless your real self is far and away from what you seek. Such as you want a gym rat but hate exercise. I'd say you must be true to yourself, but always review and refine your wants and needs. Until you are clear it is hard to know what you are looking for.)

Yet, I’m glad about it, too many scenarios have come and gone where I lowered them for different reasons. Making exceptions for where I felt it would be beneficial for both involved. (Lowering your standards in anything will always leave you unfulfilled.)

I’ve been told that BDSM will allow you to feel comfortable wit yourself and your kinks, exploring and swimming through their depths with great ease and enjoyment. (People will tell you a lot of stuff none of which is based in who you are. You must learn yourself. You must learn this life with real research. There are ways of learning even now. Again, no one can define you. And if you have other issues that will interfere with your general happiness or satisfaction in life, address those. The complexities of this realm will not magically make them go away.)

It’s been nothin but a walk through the Sahara, Filled with mirages of pleasure .Empty conversations and conversations leading to more conversations rather than physically exchanging energy. (Yup. My Sir died in 2015 and it is indeed hard to find a partner. We can blame the pandemic but the truth is, most people are not here for the long term. Or the serious stuff you have to work at. The better you know yourself, the fewer the real matches you will find. But when you find one, it will be amazing. Patience is hard I know.)

I feel on an island as I’m sure most people do but not because of our worlds current state. My life is quarantine icon_wink.gif

this community hasn’t made Me feel empowered but VERY APPREHENSIVE about my kinks. Yikes. You get that answer that lets you know your kinks made them uncomfortable. HahaThe energy completely changes and the spark has been extinguished. (Then get on a site that is more specific to your needs. There are many discussion groups on fetlife that are kink specific. Broaden your interactions.)

I feel As if I’ll be enjoying them by myself for my remaining years.

So now the thrill of sharing what I enjoy must be jet away. As I’ve been the only one to deliver on my own pleasures.

My vanilla life resembles much of what BDSM has been. I do like that these forums are here. For matters such as this. I do know I desire intimacy , companionship and the sheer thrill of the human experience with sexual activity.

I absolutely love feet and the woman’s body as whole. But the enjoyment Is truly only had when connection occurs.
I hope to give myself to someone in full.
I know it’s out there, and I’m fine slow cooking.
But this had to be said.
We shall smile, take a California Kush hit, and keep rollin.

(This was never an easy path. It is a complex way of relating. It brings out the more complex parts of a person. Keep working on yourself and be aware that not all that is called kink, is kink. So if you venture into dangerous territory, look at that realistically. Otherwise, find your people. If not here look at other sites. Hang in there. )

Miki • Jan 13, 2021

HouseTallon..

When you have time, jot me line... Not for contradiction but to compare notes: I admire your mind.

(some would read otherwise but what I wrote... is literal.)

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 13, 2021

Chat with more ppl on your lvl that share similar roles

feathersonapond • Dec 4, 2020

I would contend that the vanilla is just as brutal as I’m someone who can feel and experience life from my couch.

Say a free fall from a high view point down into a lagoon with magnificent swimming beasts.

A even outside of kink I crave cosmic larger than life connection. And it has evaded me.

But I have gotten a slight graze of its bliss.

And it’s truly magnificent.

RedKat{Not now } • Dec 3, 2020

Quarantine sucks for a lot of us, I understand completely as many would agree. As far as bdsm, one thing I learned was patience, yes it was difficult and I made mistakes. One thing I know now is, just sit back and reach out to folks and wait. Vanilla life is so easy because it is so puppet like to me, going through the motions. Kink takes time and a lot of patience but the rewards are so much better in the end, for both partners.

(Take a hit of that Kush for me)

I don’t believe the realm bdsmIs for me.

feathersonapond • Dec 3, 2020

It’s been utterly disappointing.

Perhaps my standards/expectations are at a high altitude.

Yet, I’m glad about it, too many scenarios have come and gone where I lowered them for different reasons. Making exceptions for where I felt it would be beneficial for both involved.

I’ve been told that BDSM will allow you to feel comfortable wit yourself and your kinks, exploring and swimming through their depths with great ease and enjoyment.

It’s been nothin but a walk through the Sahara,
Filled with mirages of pleasure .Empty conversations and conversations leading to more conversations rather than physically exchanging energy.


I feel on an island as I’m sure most people do but not because of our worlds current state. My life is quarantine

this community hasn’t made Me feel empowered but VERY APPREHENSIVE about my kinks. Yikes.
You get that answer that lets you know your kinks made them uncomfortable. HahaThe energy completely changes and the spark has been extinguished.

I feel As if I’ll be enjoying them by myself for my remaining years.


So now the thrill of sharing what I enjoy must be jet away. As I’ve been the only one to deliver on my own pleasures.


My vanilla life resembles much of what BDSM has been. I do like that these forums are here. For matters such as this. I do know I desire intimacy , companionship and the sheer thrill of the human experience with sexual activity.

I absolutely love feet and the woman’s body as whole. But the enjoyment Is truly only had when connection occurs.

I hope to give myself to someone in full.
I know it’s out there, and I’m fine slow cooking.

But this had to be said.

We shall smile, take a California Kush hit, and keep rollin.