The Word "Mold"

The Word "Mold"

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} • Jan 21, 2021

Hi to all the beautiful people Hope you all are doing well and staying safe!

One word I keep hearing from Doms and some Subs is the desire to be "Molded/Mold".

I dislike the word because for me it feels like I will be conditioned to become the "perfect" person for that someone. It feels like I need changing to fit their desires.

For me I prefer the use of exploration. I do not want someone to mold me but for both of us to explore our D/S sides. For me to gift him with my submission where he will take us both on an amazing adventure of TPE, etc.. and where both of our deepest desires will become true.

I just wanted to hear your thoughts on the topic. Does the word "Mold" signifies something else to you?

Thank you bunches!!
~C

LaVieEnRose​(sub female){Learning } • Jan 21, 2021

I don’t see it as me changing but fine tuning the things he already likes. I mean in theory you’d find someone who you connect with on a level where they’re not changing you but just developing and perfecting what’s already there

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Jan 21, 2021

Molding a sub or slave to the preference of a Dom is simply one element of the training or objectification fetishes. It is a means of finding a particular kind of worth through the ministrations of the Dominant. As such, views on it vary relatively.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jan 21, 2021

Ooooh, i like this question, thanks for asking it.

Michelangelo is quoted as saying: " Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it. I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free."

i can easily apply "mold" in place of sculpt, or paint or___________.

For me, this epitomizes the D/s dynamic. i see D/s as an intimate interaction, a symbiotic relationship. i do not believe a Dom 'makes' anything, i see Him as a person, not a god. That said, when i have been intelligently and intimately Dommed, it has evoked adoration from me (happened naturally, not something i contrived or anticipated).

Another way to put it is a Dom finds doors to rooms in a sub, then finds the key to unlock. i think sometimes the sub knows what's behind the door, and other times only an idea, or not at all. That D/s is a process of discovery, often for both.

i do not see any of this as simple or black and white. i have experienced some Dom's who managed to mix contents from my different 'rooms' and come up with something new, different. To me, this is part of "molding' as well, but it is not something from nothing, or, putting it more clearly, i do not think it is the Dom making something just to satisfy Their whim, that there is something malleable in the sub that wants and needs what they want, and the need/want is molded out of other parts that are already a part of the sub.

i think molding is an intricate, mysterious and beautiful and dual process.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jan 21, 2021

Your feelings on the word are precise. If you dont want to be molded then that's just simply the problem of anyone that doesnt share how you feel about yourself

MstrSol​(dom male) • Jan 21, 2021

Cinderella, the answer to your question is in your profile. You see yourself as a sub not a slave. In my experience slaves wish to be molded because they crave to be more than what they were before they were owned by their Master. They also want to uniquely match their Master. I have known slaves who learned new languages and picked up new skills just to perfectly serve different Masters. It can be beautiful with the right person. It can be a terrible idea for a sub who has a strong sense of self or someone who is mainly interested in other aspects of BDSM. If a Dom is trying to mold you, chalk it down to them not having read your profile or them being incompatible with you, or them not having enough experience to know how to calibrate dominance appropriately for their partner. BDSM is a collaboration not something one does to the other.

CinderellaOnTheRun​(sub female){protected} • Jan 22, 2021

Thank you all for your insights on the subject
~C

OraclePollon​(sub female){NotYours} • Jan 22, 2021

These are all lovely. Thank you everyone for the beautiful perspectives. Very much agree.

SubtleHush​(sub female) • Jan 28, 2021

Mold, Teach, Train...Help you explore your deepest taboo desires... oooooh.
All imply that that person thinks they know how to guide you. But more than that it reveals their point of view. Is it narcissism? To an extent. Or they are using the vernacular to sound knowledgeable.

They don't even know you. You also don't know what they know.

Many call it training but they mean they will show you how they liked to be pleased. Never saw a profile that said that and followed with, "And I want to please you as well."

I like your perspective. We work together. We explore together what will work for us.

If there is one thing the long timer folks like me have in common it is that we appreciate that there is always much more to learn. Only the foolish act as if they have all the answers.

Stick to your guns.

Master13​(dom male){MajesticLy} • Jan 30, 2021

I personally like the word grow.
In any dynamic both learn each other and grow as friends, then into a dynamic.
I see so many dynamics fail quickly or even before they get started.
I think one big piece is communication and then understanding then a friendship then the dynamic

Call me old fashion but Thats how I roll