What does Dominance mean to you?

What does Dominance mean to you?

Likeavirgin​(sub female) • Feb 28, 2021

I'm still learning all I can about this lifestyle, and I would love to hear the other sides point of view and incorporate that into what I know already. It may seem like a simple question but I think it's a very important one. What is Dominance and what does it mean to you?

MrFulmen • Mar 1, 2021

In the context of BDSM, what dominance means to me is one person bossing another one around because both of them like it that way. It's creating and exercising mutually desired imbalances of control, power or authority. It frequently goes along with other aspects of BDSM like bondage or playing with pain or fetishes for piss or latex or whatever, but it doesn't have to.

That's a broad answer, because people practice dominance in a broad range of different ways. For some it's more about structure; for some it's about wrestling for control. Some dominate in a nurturing way, others in a degrading way, and some manage to do both at once. That's cool: they can all fit under the umbrella of "dominance."

luckygirl • Mar 1, 2021

Dominance is what you will allow yourself to be subjected to both physically and mentally. Dominance is mutual respect and unwavering communication. Dominance is a verb, noun, pronoun, or adjective. Dominance is confidence and exuding confidence into every aspect of life. Dominance is having autonomy in your own life and trusting others to be autonomous for you.

LordofPain56 • Mar 1, 2021

What does it mean? Usually, it means success!
If one is born with the dominant trait, he exudes it in all he does. He makes plans, and when needed makes a plan "B". He is goal-oriented and persistent. He has the drive to succeed. There's no quitting until he has reached his goal.
To me, it's not about bossing people around. I prefer to lead by example. All of my dreams in life have come true, except one. Finding a long-term monogamous partner. It's the only thing I could never guarantee, because it takes two to tango.

Cloud69​(switch male) • Mar 3, 2021

Having someone dominate is kind of like a trust game, one person is being trusted to look after the other in exchange that they will listen and do what is asked of them, giving over without knowing what will be asked of them. A lot of trust is needed to do this I feel. More that most people feel comfortable doing.

MisterAshmodai​(dom male) • Mar 3, 2021

Relishing responsibility.
Everyone loves power. It is the responsibility that turns some away from it. Dominance is loving the responsibility you have over others and the opportunity that companies that responsibility.

charlesutter​(dom male) • Mar 3, 2021

Dominance to me is first and foremost about trust and an intimate bond. (Ok. Kinky stuff too). That bond is between two equals who share the same commitment and look forward to a deep primal adventure.

For me personally, it involves a high level of consistent communication. It involves patience and an investment of time. And if I can use literary analogy to illustrate my point, I would say that dominance is to satire, what sarcasm is to mean spiritedness.

Dominance is like satire because satire breaks down all the parts in order to rebuild them stronger and better. A dominant person deeply respects their submissive and is fulfilled by holding and guiding the submissive in many aspects of their life.

Having said that, it’s really hard to pin down. We all hold a little piece of it in our experience. I think the key is hidden somewhere in all our collective responses.

Taramafor​(sub male) • Mar 3, 2021

Getting someone to do what you want. With as little effort as possible. Being as specific/clear and to the point as possible without generalising or using labels or people as if they're an excuse to turn a blind eye to the situation. Having the ability to state the situation for what it is, regardless of how people feel about it. While at the same time calming them down and then using them for your own pleasure while homing in on their needs. All done in a quick, clean efficient manner.

As for outplaying a dom, being able to get what you want from them, even if a need isn't tolerated at first. And making it happen with them enjoying it as well.

Without a single word said about it.

See if you can pull THAT off. :3

SinMaster • Mar 5, 2021

I realize that another person has given permission tome to change their lives into one that moves from vanilla to a lifestyle of challenges and goals.
I think the biggest thing I have is control. I have to control how I use this item I could seriously hurt a submissive and have them leave the lifestyle because I wasn’t able to control my control.

poppyclaire​(sub female) • Mar 5, 2021

This is pretty much what dominance is to me. Simply being responsible. Personally it's having someone take responsibility for sex specifically and leading in that. In day to day life being that responsible leader means giving guidance where needed.