2 weeks ago • 04/05/2021 8:43 pm
Taramafor(sub male) • 04/05/2021 8:43 pm
1: assumptions were made. Don't guess. Check in.
2: Bit confused about the whole GF part. But I do understand people can "hop around" from one relationship to the next too quickly and get in over their head (some people are more careful and considerate. Others are more blind/careless). Which is what may have happened with you. People like this tend to not even know what love is and have trust issues the moment there's confusion and lack of understanding.
3: You brought sex toys which might have given her the wrong impression.
4: You apologised. Which could actually be a mistake. What does this change? How is it addressing the situation? When she said "Go to hell" was all you had to offer apologies alone? It's certainly on her if she assumes the worst of things. But it's also on you if you don't state the situation for what it is and point out she may have been assuming. Example: "I'm simply stating the situation for what it is. What you assume is on you." As an example. You might have come across as a bit too "white knight". What's more why get sex toys if you don't at least consider the possibility of using them? Be honest, I think you was at least toying with the idea. Not saying that's wrong. Simply saying I don't see a reason to get them if they're not intended to be used at all. If you say you don't intended to use them then it comes across as a falsehood. eg: A possible lie. This might have been the trigger.
5: You had "hi and hello" for a month instead of talking about activity and making each other happy and doing it sooner. Despite what some people claim it's actually better to establish things sooner rather then later. Though carefully of course. People will pretend otherwise when they don't know how. Stalling however complicates things down the line. As has been proven here.
6: You called her sweet. To me this indicates she might have been the "too nice" type. Leading to freaking out when she's assuming the worst of things. Which the "go to hell" comment indicates.
If a line of communication is kept open then you can work things out. But if she's trying to get the last word in (or you) and it's all "Don't want to hear it" instead of trying to be understanding then it's going to get ugly. But can still be turned around provided it's made clear things as they appear to be with owning up to mistakes being made. Note: Mistrust isn't the end of the world. But it's important to state about what, specifically. Just ask.
It's a combination of "stalling" (you were playing it too safe instead of talking about interactions) and assumptions being made. On both sides. In a nutshell.