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Boundaries Overstepped?

LilMinx​(sub female){Not Lookin}
2 years ago • Jul 24, 2021
RogueWolf wrote:
DaddysLittleSub wrote:
RogueWolf wrote:
Very polite. A collar to some is the same as a wedding ring. It has the same value, meaning if not more. Any Dom/me with any respect for anyone doesn't do anything like that. I was once at a kink club where a "Dom" grabbed the collar of someone, who was only wearing it to stop people from coming on to her but still.. He was asked to leave immediately and banned from said club. He then moaned about it not bring explained to him that he shouldn't do that. Banged on about his involvement with the community in London and several kink venues. Surely that gives more ammunition to his ban. He should know exacttly what a collar is, what it means and how to behave.
You absolutely did the right thing by telling him to go away. I feel like he should have a session of sounding with a cactus.

Oh my gosh! I hope she was okay after that happened. But its people like that who give this lifestyle/community a bad reputation. They don't respect people's boundaries or feelings or anything and do whatever they want because they feel like it. I get it, a dom is controlling and has power over their sub, but a dom is caring and loving and respectful about it. They don't grab and abuse and harass. That is not what a dom is for. And to sit there and say my dom should teach me manners, maybe his dom should teach him some!


Respect is usually a lot more common in kink venues than in other places, I've witnessed a few incidents in my time on the scene (7/8 years) which in my opinion is too many. Yes a Dom is controlling and has power over "their" sub, the key word being their. They do not have the right to control anyone, have power over anyone, without consent. She was shaken up but we have a great community here and she was looked after by her friends.

I have never been to a kink venue, maybe my master and I should try going to one sometime. I completely agree. The only person who should have any control over a sub is THEIR dom. No one should give any sub an invite unless they are actively searching for one. Even if they're not collared, you shouldn't randomly walk up to them and ask them to become a part of your harem. Gross and creepy. And like I said, he probably doesn't even have a harem and just wants to think he's a hotshot who has all these ladies crawling around him!
LilMinx​(sub female){Not Lookin}
2 years ago • Jul 24, 2021
Starwarsnerd wrote:
you were very polite, he was just a asshole and clearly doesn't understand Dom/sub roles

Thank you. I really tried to keep my calm and be polite, but deep down I really wanted to give him pain. He should know the roles and how to be a dom(if he even is one) around other doms subs.
RogueWolf​(dom male){Gaiawolf}
2 years ago • Jul 24, 2021
DaddysLittleSub wrote:

I have never been to a kink venue, maybe my master and I should try going to one sometime. I completely agree. The only person who should have any control over a sub is THEIR dom. No one should give any sub an invite unless they are actively searching for one. Even if they're not collared, you shouldn't randomly walk up to them and ask them to become a part of your harem. Gross and creepy. And like I said, he probably doesn't even have a harem and just wants to think he's a hotshot who has all these ladies crawling around him!


You should, I think you'll have a good time and meet some lovely people. it also might bring out your exhibitionist side to play in public, you don't have to, There's no rule to say you should.
Miki
2 years ago • Jul 24, 2021
Miki • Jul 24, 2021
So you're wearing a collar and this dude comes up and asks you if you want to join his sub harem... He's got balls.. and not in a good way.

However, I have to say I'm not all that surprised. Just like a wedding ring, a collar can be more of a creep/horn-dog magnet than something that one would think discourages such "approaches".

I have known a few people, even in the vanilla world, who sees someone they want to get it on with and are further turned on (in this case ) by a wedding band, engagement ring, or both because the allure of sneaking around with someone's spouse/significant other--- enhances the turn-on for some.

Just be careful, be aware of your surroundings and ready to either get help or leave the area because that collar isn't going to stop some people... It may attract their attention.
SubtleHush​(sub female)
2 years ago • Jul 24, 2021
SubtleHush​(sub female) • Jul 24, 2021
DaddysLittleSub​(sub female){Collared}
Boundaries Overstepped?

"Should he have even done that?" (Absolutely NOT)

"I'm not sure if I did anything wrong by upsetting him," (Absolutely NOT. You burst his bubble and it needed to be burst)

"But I also am taken and was not about to take his request because that's disrespectful to my Daddy." (Tell your Sir, but rest assured he was inappropriate and should have been pushed off.)

" I'm just not sure how anyone feels about this?" (it is always wrong. period)
..............

I'm still laughing at "sub harem." When I hear this stuff I remember a joke told by Wanda Sykes. "Multiple women? Now, why you wanna go and disappoint a bunch of women all at once? Pace them out, man." (paraphrasing here)

This happens often with opportunistic players. It's happened to me. A guy owned his own dungeon and had public play parties. He liked to watch the scenes and then get the subs aside to express how sad it was to see them playing with an amateur. He boasted how he understood the importance of passion in a scene, and so forth. At a later time, after the relationship I was in ended, I did spend time with him and he knew nothing about passion in a scene. In fact, he was very dull and predictable. He often spoke of passion and I finally pointed out that he exhibited NONE when with me. (later other women I met expressed the same experience with him) After I walked away he spent all his time playing with married bottoms who just wanted the experience. He didn't have the horses to do more than that.

What he did, and what this guy you mention did shows a real lack of respect for women, collared women, anyone they are involved with, and the lifestyle.

I think guys like you encountered, are desperate to grab a piece of this lifestyle, target newer women and really believe us clueless- or depend on us being- doormats. It is disrespectful to approach anyone collar or no collar and speak as he did. He gave you all he had. The whole sales pitch and when you declined him all he had left to toss out was that it was YOU who wasn't trained enough. Had your Sir been there, this chump would never have approached.

I suggest that if it happened at an event, you should speak to the organizer. That is not allowed at most events if not all, and he might do more to the next girl. Just make them aware.

And in the future, should this happen, your collar tells the story but don't hesitate to stop everything right there and find the organizer, and tell the guy that you will call the police immediately if he doesn't get away from you.

A far away Dom isn't much help, but local people being made aware will really crimp his style.

Random submission is NOT submission at all. You aren't here to kowtow to random men who think you are easy. If you wouldn't allow it from a vanilla man, don't tolerate it here. Our rules are larger, not smaller.

You did right. He's as much a Dominant, as my ficus bush.

H*
LilMinx​(sub female){Not Lookin}
2 years ago • Jul 25, 2021
RogueWolf wrote:
DaddysLittleSub wrote:

I have never been to a kink venue, maybe my master and I should try going to one sometime. I completely agree. The only person who should have any control over a sub is THEIR dom. No one should give any sub an invite unless they are actively searching for one. Even if they're not collared, you shouldn't randomly walk up to them and ask them to become a part of your harem. Gross and creepy. And like I said, he probably doesn't even have a harem and just wants to think he's a hotshot who has all these ladies crawling around him!


You should, I think you'll have a good time and meet some lovely people. it also might bring out your exhibitionist side to play in public, you don't have to, There's no rule to say you should.

I will definitely have to look for one in Florida for when I go visit my daddy. Maybe he'll know of some already!
moneybagzthetopslave
2 years ago • Aug 14, 2021
moneybagzthetopslave • Aug 14, 2021
RogueWolf wrote:
There's the rack room which I've heard of, and has good feedback.

Hey,
I’m a male switch in Florida as well and I’m interested to know more about the rack room. Can I get some details sir
cherilynn​(sub female)
2 years ago • Aug 14, 2021
cherilynn​(sub female) • Aug 14, 2021
Dear Lord, what an asshat!
That guy is no "Dom". I bet you everything I've got that he couldn't get laid by a damn cactus.

I'm sorry you had to deal with such a sleaze. Anyone in bdsm with two brain cells to rub together knows you never speak to or touch a collared sub without permission.

That guy doesn't have the sense God gave a turnip green and one day he is going to do some stupid stuff infront of the wrong person and get the beat down he so desperately deserves. Can ya tell this kind of stuff rubs me wrong!?

So glad you are OK!