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Dom's wanting submission and trust without earning it

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joshuac​(dom male)
2 months ago • 07/21/2021 6:04 pm
joshuac​(dom male) • 07/21/2021 6:04 pm
Too many times I have found that some if not most are not into this lifestyle for the long haul... Sadly some see this as a quick booty call or what not or an avenue for them to work out their dreams. The relationship between a Dom and sub is first and formost supposed to be a relationship of Trust, respect, and love, It is supposed to be a bond, and people seem to have forgotten that. Its sad it really is its those bad wanna bees that give us good ones a bad name...
Lacie​(sub female){Not lookin}
2 months ago • 07/21/2021 5:24 pm
Lacie​(sub female){Not lookin} • 07/21/2021 5:24 pm
I feel like people want instant everything anymore. The ones who want instant submission with out earning it seem to be the ones who will say fuck your at the drop of a hat and be gone. You don’t need or want that anyway be thankful it gives you a way to see right through them.
OwnedByTheOcean​(masochist female)
2 months ago • 07/21/2021 4:44 pm
OwnedByTheOcean​(masochist female) • 07/21/2021 4:44 pm
It’s definitely shark infested waters. Over the course of my journey I have found my voice. Being a masochist lends itself to doms (lower case intended) wanting to check beating a masochist off their list and tasting the forbidden fruit. I have had to learn myself and gain the confidence in who and what I am, more importantly I have to know my own worth. Being very clear in the dynamic that is desired on both ends is imperative and I have zero control over someone else’s vision of what they want. I do, however, have a responsibility to myself and any potential partner to be very sure of mine. That will weed out a lot of “players” but that is the goal.... good luck and don’t forget your worth.
Shadow Girl​(sub female)
2 months ago • 07/21/2021 4:18 pm
Shadow Girl​(sub female) • 07/21/2021 4:18 pm
Had a Dom just yesterday want to become my "Master" after maybe 30 minutes of chatting, then got all upset when I said I need more time than that. He tried to tell me I'd love it and what harm could it do to just try. Ummm a lot actually if it's not done well. Pretty sure he ended up blocking me or just disappeared, either way I'm ok with it
Sir Don​(dom male){Taken}
2 months ago • 07/21/2021 12:38 am
Sir Don​(dom male){Taken} • 07/21/2021 12:38 am
In this world of instant gratification and being stuck at home because of the "pandemic ". People have nothing better to do with their time. So they hop onto the internet take a bdsm test and wow I am a Dom. No one wants to put in the effort of learning the values and responsibilities of what a real Dominant is. The same goes to the submissives as well.
They call themselves a master but it doesn't make it so.
I know how electricity works but I didn't go the proper courses to become master electrician
How can one call themselves a master without going through the proper courses here ? Learning proper protocol and proper editeque would make a better understanding of this lifestyle. It takes effort and dedication to which most find to difficult to do.
acupcake​(sub female)
2 months ago • 07/21/2021 12:17 am
acupcake​(sub female) • 07/21/2021 12:17 am
I think anyone who wants to be friends with anyone else they should (if they have any sense) observe normal socially acceptable protocols. If I approach a Domme, then I need to be respectful and actually fun. And vice versa. I personally think Bdsm and everything it entails is way down on the list when people are wondering if they click.


oops sorry this is about dominant males lol... sorry sorry...
IowaDom​(dom male)
2 months ago • 07/20/2021 11:06 pm
IowaDom​(dom male) • 07/20/2021 11:06 pm
Ya know, in vanilla-land I bet you can spot the creepos, wierdos, and poser wanna be's fairly fast! How come? Well, because you know what to look for, and can spot em coming a mile away for the most part. Well, welcome to BDSM, they're here too, but once you learn to spot em, you'll see them coming a mile off too... icon_smile.gif

But IMHO, giving up on the lifestyle is basically allowing the bad apples to determine your future, your behavior, your sexual private life, and deprive you of what truly could be a fantastic lifelong experience if you find it. Will you find it? Nobody knows the answer to that anymore than anybody knows if you would find it in vanilla-land.

So you have to choose your own destiny, and the same risks are present on both sides, just don't let anybody else decide the path for you icon_smile.gif

ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female)
2 months ago • 07/20/2021 9:32 pm
ButterfliesAndCuffs​(sub female) • 07/20/2021 9:32 pm
I’ve had some of the same experience. I’ve tried online and it does nothing for me other than feeling taken advantage of. Men using pictures that aren’t them, being demanding right off the bat etc. I’ve even been messaged by damn pedophile looking for mothers with young daughters.
It’s sad because my curiosity and interest in D/S is turning into fear and revulsion.
SubtleHush​(sub female)
2 months ago • 07/20/2021 1:32 pm
SubtleHush​(sub female) • 07/20/2021 1:32 pm
Great job in using your gut. Keep up the good work.

To many, this is a cross between the masquerade and a buffet.

This is Internet cosplay and they learn how to stand behind a mask and play a role at your expense. They use buzzwords and intimidation to get their rush. They use CAPS!!!! to sound all-powerful and they push hard to distract you from your gut so that you don't think too hard.

It's the Internet buffet. They pick at this and that and consume it immediately without even tasting it. They are gluttons. Ignorant and indifferent of what consent is, or how one earns it. They know nothing of the lifestyle or the important and amazing aspects of it.

So they chide and bully and pressure newer people to give it all at hello. From the guy with one photo not usually of himself asking you for many more to the guy who greets you by calling you slut, subbie, whore, etc. To the one who wants to isolate you from other info sources. Those types get angry when you say you talk to other s types. they usually say ugly things about others because they are thinking ugly things about you. And in the end, when they fail to convince you, they announce with venom that you are "No Submissive!", which means you are no doormat. So good for you.

If they don't want to know you the person, you the vanilla, day to day adult, or you the thinking, feeling intelligent person, then you can well determine that they don't care about your submission other than the rush they get making a random online person do things (usually to themselves) for their entertainment.

This is a big reason I reject the idea of Male Doms training newbies. They take advantage and in the end they shut off the computer or hang up the phone and go back to their ordinary life leaving you hanging on a string.

They have been around since the beginning and on every website like fruit flies who will always swoop in to your face and annoy you until you roll up the newspaper.

Don't believe what is too good to be true. You may be remarkable but no one can determine that at hello.
You are much more special than that. Never forget it.