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Meeting for the first time

Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
1 week ago • 01/13/2022 3:35 am

Meeting for the first time

Scarlett Sophie​(sub female) • 01/13/2022 3:35 am
Hello fellow kinksters icon_smile.gif

In less than four days, I'll be meeting my Sir for the first time after talking and playing online for nearly two months. I am both excited and nervous at the same time! I wanted to use this forum as a way to hear other people's experience meeting their Dom or sub for the first time.

All tips, tricks, and stories are welcome!
CSI​(sub female)
1 week ago • 01/13/2022 5:53 am
CSI​(sub female) • 01/13/2022 5:53 am
You may not like what I have to say, but I definitely a "safety first" kinda gal. First off, I think it's fantastic and spectacular that you get to met this fellow and I can sense your excitement from over here. I am going to assume that you have thoroughly vetted this person and know them like the back of your hand and most of their likes and dislikes far beyond kink. You may have done a background check or even checked to make sure they don't have a criminal record or that they aren't married...I am also sure you know all about sub frenzy and new relationship energy along with the heightened dose of lust that comes with new dynamics.

As for the meet itself, I recommend setting up safe calls with a trusted friend. Right when you arrive and every couple of hours thereafter. The trusted friend should have all of the persons information (full name, phone number, email, social media handle, etc).

As for stories, let's just say at one point I got carried away in the moment and ended up tied up in a hotel with someone I had only spoken to on-line and no one knew where I was and leave it at that. Please be as safe as possible and listen to your gut. If you believe this person will listen if you say stop and your safe word, that is great, but I am definitely more of a slow and steady person now that I have been around the block a few times.
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Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
1 week ago • 01/13/2022 7:08 am
Scarlett Sophie​(sub female) • 01/13/2022 7:08 am
CSI wrote:
You may not like what I have to say, but I definitely a "safety first" kinda gal. First off, I think it's fantastic and spectacular that you get to met this fellow and I can sense your excitement from over here. I am going to assume that you have thoroughly vetted this person and know them like the back of your hand and most of their likes and dislikes far beyond kink. You may have done a background check or even checked to make sure they don't have a criminal record or that they aren't married...I am also sure you know all about sub frenzy and new relationship energy along with the heightened dose of lust that comes with new dynamics.

As for the meet itself, I recommend setting up safe calls with a trusted friend. Right when you arrive and every couple of hours thereafter. The trusted friend should have all of the persons information (full name, phone number, email, social media handle, etc).

As for stories, let's just say at one point I got carried away in the moment and ended up tied up in a hotel with someone I had only spoken to on-line and no one knew where I was and leave it at that. Please be as safe as possible and listen to your gut. If you believe this person will listen if you say stop and your safe word, that is great, but I am definitely more of a slow and steady person now that I have been around the block a few times.


Thank you so much for sharing and being so real. I love everything that you had to say, and couldn't agree more about safety - it's my first and foremost priority, and all your advice is greatly appreciated and noted.
dollMaker​(dom male)
1 week ago • 01/13/2022 11:14 am
dollMaker​(dom male) • 01/13/2022 11:14 am
Safe calls are a must.

Have you vetted this person, got references from previous play partners? If not I suggest you do, its not too late.
IronWorld​(sadist male)
1 week ago • 01/13/2022 6:55 pm
IronWorld​(sadist male) • 01/13/2022 6:55 pm
I always insist on safe calls and if possible, meeting in a public place. It's already been said, but you can't say it enough.

I remember one sub's safe call wanted to talk with me and told me that I better not hurt her. I could have taken this badly, but I didn't because I absolutely knew she picked the right person to make the safe call with. That sub got extra bite marks for her good judgment.
bigandsmall​(sub female)
1 week ago • 01/13/2022 8:07 pm
bigandsmall​(sub female) • 01/13/2022 8:07 pm
Hi Scarlett, I'm very happy to know you are opening doors to finding your true self and welcome to this site. There are many here experienced and new and happy to help you navigate. As stated before, I agree with all of the above and hope you take seriously. I am quite senior in my experiences but by no means qualified to tell others not to do what they think they want to do. While calling someone Sir without having met them or accepted my collar is not something I am comfortable with, (you're a mister ___ until committed for me) everyone's dynamic is different. The one thing that isn't, is doing your homework, not accepting you are what someone tells you are, that is your journey to discover and you will find this out as you get deeper involved.

Remember, you don't have to accept the use of say...a cane across your breast ... because other subs do. Some will tell you you must take whatever they want or you are not really a sub. NOT TRUE. You are young and have a full life ahead of you, and showing up for work bruised up visibly is not a good look. lol

You have a voice, USE IT. A real Dom will respect it . If he doesn't, run.
A first meeting is nerve racking. He is probably nervous too. Think of it as meeting a coworker for a few drinks after work and not a play scene. Be yourself, be Honest, take a pic of his drivers license to text to a friend lol... if you move to a different place text them where you are. you can do this discretely but most of all enjoy it as you would any date.

If he is a gentleman, he will end the evening without insisting you blow him lol A Dom's best quality should be his ability to have self control.

Most of all, take a deep breath and try to have fun.
Scarlett Sophie​(sub female)
1 week ago • 01/14/2022 3:41 am
Scarlett Sophie​(sub female) • 01/14/2022 3:41 am
bigandsmall wrote:
Hi Scarlett, I'm very happy to know you are opening doors to finding your true self and welcome to this site. There are many here experienced and new and happy to help you navigate. As stated before, I agree with all of the above and hope you take seriously. I am quite senior in my experiences but by no means qualified to tell others not to do what they think they want to do. While calling someone Sir without having met them or accepted my collar is not something I am comfortable with, (you're a mister ___ until committed for me) everyone's dynamic is different. The one thing that isn't, is doing your homework, not accepting you are what someone tells you are, that is your journey to discover and you will find this out as you get deeper involved.

Remember, you don't have to accept the use of say...a cane across your breast ... because other subs do. Some will tell you you must take whatever they want or you are not really a sub. NOT TRUE. You are young and have a full life ahead of you, and showing up for work bruised up visibly is not a good look. lol

You have a voice, USE IT. A real Dom will respect it . If he doesn't, run.
A first meeting is nerve racking. He is probably nervous too. Think of it as meeting a coworker for a few drinks after work and not a play scene. Be yourself, be Honest, take a pic of his drivers license to text to a friend lol... if you move to a different place text them where you are. you can do this discretely but most of all enjoy it as you would any date.

If he is a gentleman, he will end the evening without insisting you blow him lol A Dom's best quality should be his ability to have self control.

Most of all, take a deep breath and try to have fun.


Very wise words BigandSmall, thank you so so much. Reading your message was a must before my meeting, and I know that anyone else preparing for their first face-to-face who have stumbled across this forum will appreciate it as well. When I first started in this lifestyle, I thought being submissive meant having no voice. But over the years I have learned how incredibly NOT true that is. My voice and my words are one of my most powerful, sexy features as a submissive and I wouldn't have it any other way. Again, thank you thank you for sharing!