Chastity

Chastity

critthatch​(sub female) • Jan 28, 2022

Hi there. I’m a sub female and I have been put into honour chastity by my Dom.

Day 1 was the 1st January and he has not given me an end date.

It is triggering a range of emotions and making me feel a lot ‘softer’ and sooo submissive but also a little… shall we say… frustrated and at times annoyed with him whilst at the same time a stronger connection.

Was wondering how others have felt whilst in chastity - both males and females?

Thanks x

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 28, 2022

If the emotions and responses you're having are pleasing to *him* (and you as well) then it's a job well done. I've never experienced being ordered into chastity by an online dom so can't relate to that all. I know that the one time my second husband arbitrarily denied *me* the same release he ordered me to provide for HIM - in one form or another - it didn't give me any warm fuzzies or induce a sense of softness or in any way increasing my submissive feelings.

I'm highly sexual and take my orgasms seriously and have been SELF-edging for over 30 years for my own personal satisfaction. Delaying my orgasms over the course of several hours does do amazing wonders for the intensity of the eventual release, but an arbitrary "you can't pleasure yourself and I won't either" over the course of days, weeks and no end in sight would not do anything for me except be a source of irritation. I was already giving far more than I got in that area so my dissatisfaction was expressed RESPECTFULLY, and it was heard and respected.

Again, there's that ever present "your mileage may vary" disclaimer that can never be omitted but "sharp edging" is the best way to both get my attention and my ongoing focus as opposed to complete denial of my sexual pleasure.

dollMaker​(dom male) • Jan 29, 2022

I think if someone is new to chastity then starting off with short periods is wiser, begin with a week, then after the first week discuss check for any issues and if all is ok then to continue, for a further week, and so on, with rules and penalties in place for breaking those rules. Chastity adds a degree of control, ownership over an area of a persons life they have previously taken for granted, touching and playing to orgasm. Giving over control of self pleasure usually deepens desire, and connection with the person exercising control. However for some its toxic, and destructive particularly if it has no built in rewards, and release times, initial frustration turns into more negative feelings, and could lead to the person calling red.

Just putting someone in chastity and thats it isn’t in my view the best way to manage things whether its mental chastity, or involves a cage or belt. Chastity control is a wonderful thing, but it does need managed carefully to be a useful, enhancing tool in a dominants arsenal of techniques, rather than one that can ruin things.

Bunnie • Jan 29, 2022

As someone very much into chastity, I can relate to those feelings. Couldn’t have described them better actually. It’s definitely a mish mash of emotions and responses.
When you say “honour,” I’m wondering if you wear a belt? Or is it more of a “don’t touch without permission” system?
Being a tactile person, I find the two to be a bit different. As stated above, if it’s simply a never ending “no touch” rule, that can take me down a path of simply switching my sexuality off. Having a belt on makes it quite different, a constant reminder, creating that ongoing edging.

rayeproperty​(masochist male){ Mistress} • Jan 29, 2022

Hie
I have been in chastity for the last two months, and currently, it’s my third month going on, and my Mistress has added one month as a punishment.

For Men being in chastity is also pure pain, and I don’t like it at all

I am trying different ways for not being in Chasity, but whenever it is a day to open that, My Mistress cuff my hands and then only open the chasity.

It feels like I don’t own my dick at all

Steellover​(sub male) • Jan 29, 2022

This ought to be something you and your mistress might want to negotiate. I cannot tell you how you "Should" or "Should not" be in your own intimate relationship, so please don't misunderstand. It is different for every couple. Chastity should be about control, but there should ultimately be a reward, perhaps for good behavior- or what is the point? Indefinite, infinite chastity, where you are NEVER allowed an orgasmic release, does not sound like a desirable way to explore this kink, and I would think it may not be healthy from a physical standpoint either.

Spellbound Wytch{Mr. Parker} • Jan 30, 2022

It's my opinion that far too many dominants fall back on chastity as a "means of control" too often. What lessons does the submissive partner learn from being denied pleasure? I've seen too many examples of this particular trick being dragged out of someone's kink bag for no other reason than to prove the dominant is indeed "in control" of the other person.

For me, it was a hot game for a (thankfully) few days, but beyond that I'd write off anyone who depends on it as a means to show how domly and in control they are. I'm of the belief that dominance is best established in the realm of the mind rather than biological control of a body. Sure - taking away someone's sexual outlet is, indeed, "taking control" of them, however it strikes me as a punitive shortcut and from what I've seen (real life, not online) it's often used just for the satisfaction derived from watching a sub struggle. The subs were not happy campers and the relationships fizzled fairly quickly.

Miki • Feb 1, 2022

Someone already said this but it bears emphasis. If you are not enjoying the experience and worse, if it causes unwanted pain, it's time to call it off. If the mistress won't "negotiate" then it's time to get as new one.

Just my opinion though.

Shaynna​(dom female) • Feb 1, 2022

I totally agree with Miki. That sounds like torture, not like BDSM. BDSM, in my opinion, is meant to be enjoyed by both sides, if your Mistress doesn't care about your feelings then she isn't the right Mistress for you.

Steellover​(sub male) • Feb 2, 2022

One thing about chastity which appeals to a lot of submissives is simply, the longer you go without a release, the more powerful the feelings are leading up to it, and the more powerful it is when you are finally allowed an orgasm. Believe me, when you have not had an orgasm in a week or two, and you finally cum in the presence of your partner- even merely doing so naked in front of them, as opposed to actual penetrative sex, can feel more powerful and more intense than regular daily sexual activity. And the days, hours leading up to that release can be some of the best and most intense sub-space you can ever feel.

Submissives enjoy giving up the control of their pleasures to the one they serve. But with chastity, this is true only up to a point. Long-term chastity without ever being allowed to orgasm is not something I would ever agree to, and kind of defeats the purpose of it in my opinion.