New Dom's vs Experienced

Berlin​(sub female){Collared} • Jun 3, 2022

My Daddy is still fairly new to the BDSM side of things. What’s important is boundaries while you are both learning safely. It’s important to talk about things you have thought about and want to try and to slowly practice those things. Communication is really important as well. It can be a bit overwhelming for someone new to be told I want this, this, and this. Just talk and see what you’re interested in and take slow steps to slowly build. A lot of books have anatomical drawings and examples of elements in BDSM. It’s more from a safety and scientific view. I would also encourage you guys to go to munches or dungeons to see how to practice safety and possible have a support network of experienced people that you trust to ask questions. Best of luck

primerose • Jun 30, 2022

Thank you!

Notely • Jun 30, 2022

Take it slow let things flow. Keep looking not for a person but for your passion, Your Love, Your Courage, Your goals, your Dreams., your happiness, yourself. keep looking. Explore your worth before you explore another. know your worth. Know yourself only then will you know what you need over what you want. You need yourself to become your own.

Life is all about balance , Balance is not something you find ,It's something you create. Balance is the key to everything. What we do think say , Meeting them all requires awareness and through this awareness we can grow.
You need to get know yourself. Learning to love them self , Guide , Growth , Take lead. Being a Head of Household you will have to take on responsibility. There will be times of split milk so you can't get mad over it if she tries mopping and cleaning you need to guide and show her not yell at her to be the Great Teacher you Take lead not making big deals but working on things so you will need to be firm. She can not learn on her own; she needs a Leading hand, one that is nurturing and loving disciplines out of love not hate. She will have days for ouchies, she will need you for times. Domestic creatures are sensitive, you will need to be loving, pick her up, say wanna go get a drink , let me take you out. Want to treat her better, come to understand that nothing is perfect. You have her look inside her with your eyes closed, see her aura, her mind, her universe. You fell in love with more than just a pretty face but her soul. If we look inside a soul you learn to understand and see everything differently. To learn more of the lifestyle watch the movie secretary to learn what love and discipline is when you need to take the lead to make her day. Invest in enhancing yourself well groomed clean cut, finding some classy to casual things and clothes does have to be the most expensive store but does have to be name brand ether. Brush up on etiquette being a gentleman at this growing stage in your life and want to be mature and learn the Buddha way Once you mature , Sex turns mental.. wont even get horny if the vibe an't right 100%.

Tradesman​(dom male){LilmissB} • Jul 1, 2022

I have to disagree (respectively) with the first few posts to an extent. As a newer Dom/sadist myself, I can say approach with caution, educate yourself and find an experienced sub. New doms shouldn’t be afraid to tell their partner that they’re new, especially experienced ones. Subs who have been around a bit will be able to tell pretty quickly if you’re new or not.

Going slow, experimenting (safely), taking classes, and just all around openness to learn is key. Someone said it above about how bdsm is like learning an extreme sport. Coming from a multi-sponsored rider and extreme sport athlete I can attest to that statement being very true. Treat it like you’re learning one because people can get hurt easily emotionally, mentally, and physically if one isn’t careful.

I can only speak from my experience. However with my sub one of her rules is actually to tell me instances when I could approach something differently (when the moment happens) and when she journals to tell me ways I can improve. I won’t get into details or specifics but I will say their are times she’s totally gobsmacked with joy and excitement with things I do. She forgets I’m new. Other times my lack of experience shows in epic proportions. She doubles as my mentor in a way since she’s had training as a Dom before we met which helps me tremendously.

Bottom line, take your time, enjoy the journey of learning, if you are comfortable or need clarification don’t hesitate to ask questions, and find a mentor! If you’re lucky like me, maybe your mentor will be your sub as well;).

mjss • Jul 11, 2022

Hi primerose, My answer would be (like others have said) very slowly with lots of communication between the pair of you. When we first started out many years ago there was a small amount of information around on the web but a lot we found out ourselves working and trying it out.

A lot will depend on what path you are taking into this life style, and yes I would say you will need some advise from a Dom with experience for some of the paths but others it more about finding out which way your path will follow.

We have 30+ years living the life style that we want to follow and Sabine loves the way we live now but it has taken all the years we have been together and it evolves over time.

if you do decided to try it, remember to agree on a safe word and both agree that any fun stops immediately on it being said. Some things you may not be comfortable with trying just now and say that but it does not mean you may feel safer down the path when trust has been gained.

Remember to have fun too.

balloonkotinsp • Jul 11, 2022

As a potential new Dom, I will do my diligence to fully understand what I am participating in. I would never begin to partake in an activity that could potentially harm someone without researching and learning about all and any risks. But you do have to start somewhere. Either with an experienced sub who can be patient with you, or an inexperienced sub who you can start off with at the bottom of the ladder if you will. If you honestly communicate , and discuss each other's needs as you progress, I believe you'll both learn and grow together. What a great journey. After all. SSC, is the mantra .

Chalybe​(dom male) • Jul 24, 2022

You are doing the exact right thing, listen to your gut. Don't let anyone put you in an uncomfortable situation.

new Luna​(sub female) • Jul 24, 2022

Primrose
Being a new submissive myself, educate yourself is a must. Once you have as much information and understanding you can about being submissive then research the D/s relationship.

When a Dom approaches you ask alot of question of each other, find out first if your a fit. Likes, dislikes, willingness, etc. Then dip deeper into the type of relationship you want vs his, talk about tpe, expectations, etc This process of really getting to know each other could take a few months or more depending of you both. Don't be in a rush to meet. Photos and video are available to see if you have a attraction. Does not matter if both are new or one more experienced than the other, just be honest, communication is a huge key. Once you have started to build on the mental side of the D/s which yes is hard on line but doable, get creative with video, photo, alot of talking, then work towards the physical.
This is just my newbie advise, my experience, but talk with other subs to get advise, guidance even Doms will give you that too. Just be safe. Do what you feel is right. Go with your gut and all will be revealed in good time

I'mME • Jul 25, 2022

*What a great journey. After all. SSC, is the mantra*

SSC is great, I also think it's up to both Doms and subs to keep R.A.C.K in mind.

Sportsgirl55​(sub female) • Jul 25, 2022

Hi,

I think you made the best decision for you. As a sub, it is easy to get caught up in the desire to submit to another and neglect our own feelings in a situation. I personally do not think any Dom/me has the right to demand someone's submission! That is the most precious thing a sub has to offer, and it should be offered willingly, without pressure.