Re: Punishment Ideas?
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022
I'mME • Aug 3, 2022
Literate Lycan wrote:
Your comment about a dominant who shifts blame is not a dominant is obvious. But my statement wasn't about whether the person is a true dominant or not, just that these types of forum questions are used to avoid responsibility.
Seriously....alleviating guilt? So if someone commits a crime in society, the justice system should alleviate their guilt? Because in a D/s or M/s dynamic, the Dom/Master is the justice system. Or should it be, "oh don't feel bad for disrespecting me.....I'm only your Dom/Master.....the promise you made not to disrespect me...oh it meant nothing." NO! If a sub/slave disrespects his/her dominant they should feel remorse and guilt, otherwise that poor behavior continues. When I have disrespected my Master, I feel bad about it and use those bad feeling to avoid doing it again.
Regarding using the forum questions as a method of avoiding responsibility, I can see a very distant connection. It may be in how you are wording it or applying it. I would still say, asking a question in the forum and then using the forum post as justification for applying “whatever” to your dynamic is still sketchy. If someone cannot hold themselves responsible, they might want to consider whether they are ready to be an adult in life. I may not entirely grasp what you’re saying.
As for alleviating guilt: Yes, quite seriously. A Dominant doesn’t want their submissive to suffer unnecessarily. Punishment is allotted according to the behavior and many submissives feel remorse for just what you said. But once they correct the behavior, they shouldn’t suffer emotionally wondering. Taken from a religious perspective, some religions practice confession. A person knows they “sinned”. They can feel sorry, but most people don’t actually hear their deity speaking in their ears. Without direct interaction, they continue to have angst and stomach churn. So they go to confession, where they confess and are told their sins are absolved. Theoretically they walk out with the burden of guilt lifted intent on not doing the “sin” again. This allows them to live their lives guilt free from past incidents. Same implications here. The submissive atones for the behavior intent upon not doing it again. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to ensure the submissive realizes the entirety. You don’t use bad feelings to avoid doing it again. You use the desire not to have those bad feelings to avoid doing it again. The threat of punishments help with behavior correction. The threat of disrespecting the dynamic and how that would make the submissive or even Dominant feel bad helps with the behavior correction (because Dominants also have behaviors that may need to be corrected to ensure a good dynamic).
This is also why a punishment should never be something used for play. If you enjoy it, you’ll just continue to do the action to receive the “fun” punishment. If anything that would reinforce the negative behavior.
As for alleviating guilt, would you prefer to feel guilt for something you did in the first days of your relationship for the rest of your life? Or would you prefer to atone for the incident, feeling secure your Dominant is very happy with your actions, and you continue on without worry about that past incident, intent upon never doing it again if possible? This would be positive reinforcement towards healthy behavior.
Society, crime and punishment is an entirely different topic. That is someone making atonement for their actions against another individual or society at large. But once a person pays for their crime as decided by the courts, they should be able to live within the continuing guidelines of society not feeling guilty for past actions. I’m not saying they have completely paid for their crimes - how do you put a price on murder or even embezzling retirement funds to leave hundreds of people destitute, but according to the laws, if they have paid the penalty prescribed, why do I care if they do or do not feel guilty? I would prefer them to return to society and join in as a contributing member if possible so I don’t have to continue to pay for them.
That was an outstanding explanation of what a punishment should be about and also an excellent description of crimes in society.