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Punishment Ideas?

I'mME
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022

Re: Punishment Ideas?

I'mME • Aug 3, 2022
[quote="Literate Lycan"]
moll wrote:
Literate Lycan wrote:


Your comment about a dominant who shifts blame is not a dominant is obvious. But my statement wasn't about whether the person is a true dominant or not, just that these types of forum questions are used to avoid responsibility.

Seriously....alleviating guilt? So if someone commits a crime in society, the justice system should alleviate their guilt? Because in a D/s or M/s dynamic, the Dom/Master is the justice system. Or should it be, "oh don't feel bad for disrespecting me.....I'm only your Dom/Master.....the promise you made not to disrespect me...oh it meant nothing." NO! If a sub/slave disrespects his/her dominant they should feel remorse and guilt, otherwise that poor behavior continues. When I have disrespected my Master, I feel bad about it and use those bad feeling to avoid doing it again.


Regarding using the forum questions as a method of avoiding responsibility, I can see a very distant connection. It may be in how you are wording it or applying it. I would still say, asking a question in the forum and then using the forum post as justification for applying “whatever” to your dynamic is still sketchy. If someone cannot hold themselves responsible, they might want to consider whether they are ready to be an adult in life. I may not entirely grasp what you’re saying.

As for alleviating guilt: Yes, quite seriously. A Dominant doesn’t want their submissive to suffer unnecessarily. Punishment is allotted according to the behavior and many submissives feel remorse for just what you said. But once they correct the behavior, they shouldn’t suffer emotionally wondering. Taken from a religious perspective, some religions practice confession. A person knows they “sinned”. They can feel sorry, but most people don’t actually hear their deity speaking in their ears. Without direct interaction, they continue to have angst and stomach churn. So they go to confession, where they confess and are told their sins are absolved. Theoretically they walk out with the burden of guilt lifted intent on not doing the “sin” again. This allows them to live their lives guilt free from past incidents. Same implications here. The submissive atones for the behavior intent upon not doing it again. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to ensure the submissive realizes the entirety. You don’t use bad feelings to avoid doing it again. You use the desire not to have those bad feelings to avoid doing it again. The threat of punishments help with behavior correction. The threat of disrespecting the dynamic and how that would make the submissive or even Dominant feel bad helps with the behavior correction (because Dominants also have behaviors that may need to be corrected to ensure a good dynamic).

This is also why a punishment should never be something used for play. If you enjoy it, you’ll just continue to do the action to receive the “fun” punishment. If anything that would reinforce the negative behavior.

As for alleviating guilt, would you prefer to feel guilt for something you did in the first days of your relationship for the rest of your life? Or would you prefer to atone for the incident, feeling secure your Dominant is very happy with your actions, and you continue on without worry about that past incident, intent upon never doing it again if possible? This would be positive reinforcement towards healthy behavior.

Society, crime and punishment is an entirely different topic. That is someone making atonement for their actions against another individual or society at large. But once a person pays for their crime as decided by the courts, they should be able to live within the continuing guidelines of society not feeling guilty for past actions. I’m not saying they have completely paid for their crimes - how do you put a price on murder or even embezzling retirement funds to leave hundreds of people destitute, but according to the laws, if they have paid the penalty prescribed, why do I care if they do or do not feel guilty? I would prefer them to return to society and join in as a contributing member if possible so I don’t have to continue to pay for them.


Literate Lycan,

That was an outstanding explanation of what a punishment should be about and also an excellent description of crimes in society.
I'mME
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022

Re: Punishment Ideas?

I'mME • Aug 3, 2022
[quote="moll"]
Literate Lycan wrote:
moll wrote:
Literate Lycan wrote:


Your comment about a dominant who shifts blame is not a dominant is obvious. But my statement wasn't about whether the person is a true dominant or not, just that these types of forum questions are used to avoid responsibility.

Seriously....alleviating guilt? So if someone commits a crime in society, the justice system should alleviate their guilt? Because in a D/s or M/s dynamic, the Dom/Master is the justice system. Or should it be, "oh don't feel bad for disrespecting me.....I'm only your Dom/Master.....the promise you made not to disrespect me...oh it meant nothing." NO! If a sub/slave disrespects his/her dominant they should feel remorse and guilt, otherwise that poor behavior continues. When I have disrespected my Master, I feel bad about it and use those bad feeling to avoid doing it again.


Regarding using the forum questions as a method of avoiding responsibility, I can see a very distant connection. It may be in how you are wording it or applying it. I would still say, asking a question in the forum and then using the forum post as justification for applying “whatever” to your dynamic is still sketchy. If someone cannot hold themselves responsible, they might want to consider whether they are ready to be an adult in life. I may not entirely grasp what you’re saying.

As for alleviating guilt: Yes, quite seriously. A Dominant doesn’t want their submissive to suffer unnecessarily. Punishment is allotted according to the behavior and many submissives feel remorse for just what you said. But once they correct the behavior, they shouldn’t suffer emotionally wondering. Taken from a religious perspective, some religions practice confession. A person knows they “sinned”. They can feel sorry, but most people don’t actually hear their deity speaking in their ears. Without direct interaction, they continue to have angst and stomach churn. So they go to confession, where they confess and are told their sins are absolved. Theoretically they walk out with the burden of guilt lifted intent on not doing the “sin” again. This allows them to live their lives guilt free from past incidents. Same implications here. The submissive atones for the behavior intent upon not doing it again. It is the responsibility of the Dominant to ensure the submissive realizes the entirety. You don’t use bad feelings to avoid doing it again. You use the desire not to have those bad feelings to avoid doing it again. The threat of punishments help with behavior correction. The threat of disrespecting the dynamic and how that would make the submissive or even Dominant feel bad helps with the behavior correction (because Dominants also have behaviors that may need to be corrected to ensure a good dynamic).

This is also why a punishment should never be something used for play. If you enjoy it, you’ll just continue to do the action to receive the “fun” punishment. If anything that would reinforce the negative behavior.

As for alleviating guilt, would you prefer to feel guilt for something you did in the first days of your relationship for the rest of your life? Or would you prefer to atone for the incident, feeling secure your Dominant is very happy with your actions, and you continue on without worry about that past incident, intent upon never doing it again if possible? This would be positive reinforcement towards healthy behavior.

Society, crime and punishment is an entirely different topic. That is someone making atonement for their actions against another individual or society at large. But once a person pays for their crime as decided by the courts, they should be able to live within the continuing guidelines of society not feeling guilty for past actions. I’m not saying they have completely paid for their crimes - how do you put a price on murder or even embezzling retirement funds to leave hundreds of people destitute, but according to the laws, if they have paid the penalty prescribed, why do I care if they do or do not feel guilty? I would prefer them to return to society and join in as a contributing member if possible so I don’t have to continue to pay for them.


So breaking one's dominant's rules is different from breaking the rules of a society? No it's not. We make a promise to follow the rules of society in order to be a part of that society and a sub/slave makes a promise to follow agreed upon rules in order to be in the relationship with the dominant. Yes, people should be able to earn forgiveness and move on, but they should always feel remorse for hurting their dominant by breaking the rules they agreed upon.

That feeling of "I don't want to hurt him/her again" keeps people from repeating disobedience.

I look back at the times I've broken my Master's rules and feel bad about it. I'm not twisted up in knots over them, , but when I'm knowingly about to disobey him I remind myself how bad it felt when I have disobeyed and have to decide whether or not it's worth it or justifiable. I don't stop feeling remorse for bad behavior, I just use it to do better.

Why should you care whether or not a criminal felt guilty or not after serving their sentence? If you or someone you love had ever been the victim of a crime you wouldn't be so quick to state that.


Always feel remorse. That is not a healthy framework. Everyone makes mistakes, a dynamic is about growing and learning [both parties]. Martyrdom is selfish concept in itself. But to each their own. Everyone can live their dynamics the way they want and there is or should be the beauty of it. This is travelling slightly into one wayism.
I'mME
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022
I'mME • Aug 3, 2022
[quote="Literate Lycan"][quote="moll"]
Literate Lycan wrote:
moll wrote:

I find it ironic that you are passing judgement on me based on my age, when you know nothing of my life nor experiences outside of what I posted here. So...pot...meet kettle.


Silly moll. I'm not basing it on your age but on how you've been responding and acting on various forum posts, not just this one, and on your blog, which you've been journaling on since your joined at the beginning of 2021. Your years on this planet have apparently not tempered you, and considering you are 23, it would seem you have many, many years ahead of you to learn and fully become you. I don't have to know your life experiences although you have definitely written about many of them extensively since your first post. I regret you never did fully indicate why your extremely liberal and open parents were upset that you chose the Professor. That is part of the story that probably should have been presented. They may have had a good reason, considering how open they are about almost everything else. But that is your story to tell or keep locked away.

No, my comments about your age have entirely to do with how you've been responding to others in forums. And you aren't that hard to profile to be honest. You have presented enough written material to develop a pretty thorough profile. I know several individuals physically younger than you in age but more mature than many who are in their later part of life; just like I am aware of some who are considerably older, yet act the fool as if life experiences didn't exist to teach.

I do wish you well. As for pots and kettles, I enjoy cooking to some great degree. That is how I use pots and kettles.


I love tea, and tea pots, and I took a tea service class which added kink into it. ☺️
I'mME
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022

Re: Punishment Ideas?

I'mME • Aug 3, 2022
IronWorld wrote:
LilMinx wrote:


Is there anything else you guys can suggest? I don't want anything too painful, I do have limits. But I'm open to hearing ideas you guys have!


Off the top of my head

Kneeling on uncooked rice/gravel
Muscle ointment on the nipples
Shaving of the head
Small circles of sandpaper placed inside your bra (if you are allowed to wear one)
Forced to wear frozen underwear
Unpersoned/encased in funiture for a period of time
Applying vinegar or lemon juice to buttcheeks after paddling
Forced to sleep in the bathroom/chained to toilet

I had thought of something else but its a little too extreme to share


I'm always curious, go ahead please.
LilMinx​(sub female){MinxTamer'}
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022
I just want to say, that I was not trying to have people start arguments on here. I honestly just wanted to have a peaceful discussion about punishments/funishments. Now, whether I screwed up on the definitions, oh well. Everybody is new at some point and learns terms. It's not the end of the world.

But like I stated, I am kind of looking for both. I want to have ideas as I am new and my dom is learning with me. I have even stated that we are kind of new to this and would like advice. I understand that each dynamic is different and I understand that each person has different limits and tolerances. But I have to learn what they are, and I am coming to make this forum to get advice so you guys can help me learn and grow like you all did. I don't see any harm in that.

I hope we can get the arguing to a minimum and maybe stay with advice. I don't want to be a mean person, just a new sub try to learn in this community is all.

- Minx xoxo
I'mME
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022
I'mME • Aug 3, 2022
When people have differences of opinion and express those differences I would not call that an argument;
I enjoy reading different perspectives, sometimes people heated, that's life.

I read your post and your subsequent answers. I was not being mean when I made another comment about funishment vs punishment. There is a huge difference, that was what I was pointing out.
I don't beat around the bush, it's not in my nature, it's not personal, I hope you got enough ideas.
Alaïs{Property}
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022
Alaïs{Property} • Aug 3, 2022
Pages of quotes and comments do often read like a critique of everyone’s opinions, can appear confrontational, and is hard to wade through, intended or not.

Good luck Minx, sounds like you have a fun dynamic with some great open discussion, you’ll learn together.
FlitterFly​(sub female){Not Lookin}
4 days ago • Aug 6, 2022
Why be so so immature Moll ?
You can dish all this I'm better then you and I know more then you shit out to people, but you can not seem to take and have that given back to you.
It's cool we all fail at this at least once.
So if LL is living up to his reputation here othe cage, please tell me what reputation is that. And whom are you hearing these sill rumors from.
In my opinion you should actually get to know a person yourself, before you go talking about someone's reputation.
Because you are creating a very poor reputation yourself right now. And being very obtuse, deliberate in being offensive to others, and just plain immature.
That's okay I forgive you.
But making enemies with people who are so much smarter then you and befriending and listening to lies and misleading people that you really could do without. Well, that's not really the right way to go. But to each there own.
And just so you know,
Just because a person has a different view then you does not make you batter or right it just makes you a different person.
All walks of life here and we don't judge others kinks or the way they do things differently then we do.
You may be this perfect slave / sub to your master.
But it does not mean that any other sub slave or Dom is less then you or whom you are with.
Everyone has there own way of learning and growing and finding there way on this sight. And you are no one to judge how they do that.
A specific question was asked and you clearly missed the mark on this when you started judging everyone eles all because YOU
DID NOT UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT
AND STARTED JUDGING EVERYONE ELES.

Pls try to not be so condescending and rude to others and the way they handle things and do things.
This is to voice and learn. Yes to share. But without making someone els feel like a piece of shit because they do things differently then you do. No one made you boss bitch here. We would like you to take the time to view how you respond without telling every one how you are better then them, when you clearly are not. None of us are.
Have a blessed day Moll.
And pls
Just stop downgrading everyone eles and work on you.
That's all any of us are doing. Working to mature and learn and grow in this lifestyle.
Does not make us wrong or less then you.
keeblerkitty​(sub female){Looking}
3 days ago • Aug 7, 2022
My sweet,

Punishments and Funishment are 2 different things. Example spanking me would not serve as a learning tool for me as I am a masochistic female. However, having to write out why i did or said what I did is just torture for me. Im talking writing not typing. Any idiot can copy and paste.

The worst for me is His disapproving nods, His look of such disappointment, or to be scolded because I disappointed Him. That is my real punishment.
Punishment is meant to teach a lesson
Funishment is for your enjoyment and His

Hope that helps