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How to get over a bdsm breakup ?

miss akairose​(sub female)
1 week ago • Aug 3, 2022
My breakup was mutual, it happened because of lack of time for each other and he just got too busy and my needs weren't met. But it still hurt like shit.

I knew why we had to breakup, I kept reminding myself of it everytime I thought of our time together. I deleted everything, by everything I mean EVERYTHING. Pictures, screenshots, chats, unfollowed him everywhere, literally made it as if he never existed.

My bestfriend also helped me. I took a day off to cleanse, cry and talk about it and get it out of my system. So maybe if you have someone close to you, you can talk to them about how you are feeling and you automatically start feeling better.

This is what I did and it worked for me. I was sad for like a week and then slowly things started feeling better. I moved on.
LoneWolf​(masochist gender queer)
6 days ago • Aug 4, 2022
Well, I don't consider a BDSM relationship any different than any other relationship but that's just me.

Sounds to me like you just need to take some personal time for yourself. Breathe a bit. Do what it is whatever you do.


As some people say that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone...

I know from personal experience that breaking up sucks! We all deal with that in our own individual ways.

For what is may be worth. My personal saying is, "FUCK IT AND MOVE ON!" I know it sounds harsh and it's not easy breaking up. But, take this time for you!

Hope this helps... Think positive!
Noire​(sub female){Un-owned}
4 days ago • Aug 6, 2022
Hello Lovely!

Firstly I want to say that dealing with any break up is an emotionally vulnerable thing. I wish you healing and peace during this time frame.

As for my advice on how to essentially move on from a bdsm break up… Well I’ll just give you what works for me. Your welcome to use any of them to help you along.

1: Slowly get rid of reminders.
*Anything he gave you, any pictures, momentous you have from this past relationship. Get rid of it. There’s nothing worse then looking back at things or pictures that remind you of the relationship as a whole. *

2: Self love, self care and be selfish.
*Right now there’s a lot of emotions swirling around within you. The best thing to do is to be by yourself. Feel your emotions and care for yourself while in this tender energy. Buy some lingerie you like and wear it. Go get your hair done or do your make up. Buy yourself some flowers. What ever helps you feel happier and confidant with your own decisions is a good step to establishing self love and care.*

3: Abstain from sexual activity including masturbation.
* This one is the hardest one. Because no one wants to abstain from sexual pleasure. But when your emotions are all wrapped up in the past relationship. To the point your feeling guilty of experiencing an orgasm. Sexual intimacy might be something your just not ready for. You may want to build up your emotional strength and take your time in slowly experiencing your own sexual pleasure again. Instead of jumping into masturbating, try touching your body in a loving/sensual way. Remind yourself while careering your body that your a sexual being deserving of pleasure. An then maybe take it from there.*

I hope this helps and you find the emotional healing you need during this time.

Noire. ❤️
darlingdiana​(sub female){not lookin}
4 days ago • Aug 6, 2022
Firstly, good afternoon and i am hoping today may have some bright streaks in the clouds.
i am certainly not an expert, and lost my first 5 year MASTER, so i can relate.
i think during this time it is so important to not be hard on yourself. As submissives we internalize release (regardless of whose decision) as rejection. Remember anger can be counter productive, this was once someone only you shared something very deeply with and the great news is those feeling are yours to keep in the vast space of locked doors in a woman’s heart.
Although the pain is treacherous, allow yourself to feel it, cry, and release your emotions. This shows you are worth the time to heal and that you shared and felt real love for your Owner.
i am going to give advice as gentle as possible.
Come to terms with the reality of it is over and the future will look different and not you planned.
The f words will come into play- yes forgive HIM. We are all guilty of being the releasee and the releaser in one form or another. This is no ones fault, and again there was once something and forgiving sets you free and your heart ❤️
Do not ever forget! Love sweet love… to feel it, burn in it and do it all over again when we are ready! All is fair in love and war.
Be thankful for the memories and time together later and isolate from common grounds or memories of HIM until You feel ready to not isolate anymore. Try not to say things to yourself like “i will find love even better later” do not set up false promises in your mind, but rather say “i am open to the Universe and whatever is ahead in my path for me” that is real, and you may excited again.
Either way let the pendulum swing for now and time sweet time.
You are not alone and have the Cage submissives to hold your hand during such a time.
Thank you so kindly for sharing and helping heal others 😉🙏🏻💕
tsi​(sub female)
1 hour ago • Aug 10, 2022
tsi​(sub female) • Aug 10, 2022
Thank you so much for all the advices . It makes my heart warm