Dating/Meeting Verifications...

LoneWolf​(masochist gender queer) • Aug 4, 2022

Sites such as socialcatfish.com and beenverified.com are legit businesses. So, no need to fear they are taking your money unlawfully. Sure, they offer an compressive search... other ad's and gimmicks. That's why they are in business! The problem with these "easy searches" is that they are NOT AT ALL accurate. They will often link a person with a parking ticket to a murderer. Giving a total FALSE report about the person you wanted to look up. These bullshit sites have been around for over 20 years. It's ridiculous! If you really want to search a persons background... Then do it the right way! Look up their names on the local court website. It's free!

The fingerprints that you may be asking about are from workers that have to pay a "private business" to provide the police, FBI and everyone our fingerprints.

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 4, 2022

To LoneWolf
I take confidence from your assurance at least those companies won't abuse my payment information. If they keep that information secure or not is a separate issue and if they are making such serious accusations from small details, I would question the professionalism, and authenticity of such a business. I'm also not quite ready to agree that the gimmicks I saw from that site indicated the aforementioned authenticity, what I saw was more exploitative than promising. I would still require a number more people to endorse those sites before I used them or recommended themself.

To forum in general,
Both LoneWolf and Sweetlydepraved have mentioned a fingerprinting service. Sweetlydepraved was extremely generous and sent me a personal message to detail her history a particular site that dealt with such actions. From the limited research I can muster, the website has an established history of over ten years, its a fairly trafficked site, the owner is not listed as private, the location of its hosting is not listed as private, the bushiness has multiple locations documented in US, it has a twitter account, and we've had two people endorse the service and one the site directly. The website offers personal identity services such as the aforementioned finger printing but also, birth certificates, ID cards, photos, and even the reviewing and adjusting ones own criminal history for verified accuracy. Sweetlydepraved used this site as required of her by a facility that wished to identify her.

The website in question: https://www.identogo.com/

Now the only question to which sweetlydepraved could not answer is if an individual such as myself can request the information. Thus I don't know what fees may be associated or loops to jump through. I have not yet contacted them to ask these questions. LoneWolf made an exceelent observation of searching for someone on court websites, similarly I'm sure there's a police database accessible to the public in some way. I have concerns, not having done such myself, that this may be exhaustive and prone to failure of search criteria and verification. Services like Identogo possibly are, could make this a tidy and thorough report with solid photo verification.




But for anyone who has made it this far...Is this going to far? This is some fairly heavy handed stuff. From what I've seen, this community and myself enjoy privacy and obscurity. For good reasons. If these services are too comprehensive they can severely jeopardize that privacy. Is the trade confidence worth it?

Beautiful eyes​(sub female){Taken} • Aug 4, 2022

I understand why somepeople would be nervous about meeting new people. However I would never give out my banking details to anyone who asked me to pay to make them secure.
I you can vett people. Here in the UK you can access background checks, it's really easy to do as long as they are on the electoral roll.
But I would always do a phone buddy system with a friend.
Every hour I would have to text and check in with a few words and where I am.
Always meet in a a public place.

Notely • Aug 5, 2022

Don’t pay for anyone just read the book psychic intelligence learn how to read people well it’s energy and using your 4 Clair’s.

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 5, 2022

To Beautiful eyes,
I have been unclear. It is not about giving the person about the information but a service. The fear implied is that the service is a sham and they are somehow benefiting from the financial information. So the question is, are there legitimate ways of doing this? The general consensus thus far is that government driven background checks are the most viable solution. It is unfortunately a little heavy for my taste. Another consensus is one you also describe, which is not being able to verify the person and creating a check in system.

To EssenceAmore,
I am happy to hear that others posses these arcane abilities to protect themselves, however they are not yet achievable for myself. I am an unfortunate skeptic and must first struggle through that wall before I may reach the benefits on the other side.

To Bondage My Heart,
I will have to recommend this to more ladies. I am also confident it will bring immeasurable courage if nothing else.

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Aug 5, 2022

Going to the local police department and being fingerprinted in NO WAY is the same as a background check and no, local law enforcement will not do background checks at the request of an individual the way you seem to think. LE cannot disseminate information for unauthorized reasons. If you want that kind of info you’re probably going to have to hire a PI. You’ll need, at a minimum, full name & DOB.

purple kimono​(sub female) • Aug 5, 2022

Even government sites get the info wrong, or skewed.

I was attacked by a drunk vanilla "date". He had a significant record, that I was unaware of. When I went to get a restraining order afterward, I discovered I was listed as his "associate". Pretty condemning for an innocent date - I may never get this info away from my good name and clean record.

Since this time, I have used beenverified - but only as a BACKUP method. I searched my own background. It's far more innacurate than accurate. For example - I'm supposedly a blood relative of my late husband's first wife. Um...no. It has me working some jobs I've never even heard of. I own a boat...that I've never seen.

Please consider taking the info gained from all websites (even the government ones) with a grain of salt, and only as backup. The sites that list criminal backgrounds, are helpful, but probably shouldn't be relied upon 100%, either. Mistakes happen, or things can be missed...or just not entered into the strained system yet.

I'm sorry, but the only way to truly know about someone, is probably to do what humans have done forever - get to know them personally.

Solace​(dom male) • Aug 5, 2022

To NoClvrNickname,
I appear to be confused then. I see little value in putting my digits in the system for any reason beyond such verification of a background check. A report which would contain any abuse charges I had in my name if they existed. Similarly, any check done would be with permission thus legal, as they are for renting and job applications. Given the little I know, a third party service would maintain an up to date record for you, and you could invite or request viewing to another member. I don't believe such a service exists. Also, I don't wish others to be confused. I am not advocating this service. I am not advocating background checks. I'm asking what others know, and this appears to be the most tangible method to date despite how flimsy some have pointed out it is. Thus far, this conversation casts doubt on any such claimed platforms existing and allows people to protect themselves if they see them requested by another.

To purple kimono,
An excellent anecdote. Thank you for providing it and demonstrating to us caution. Again, I'm not trying to find something lets me intimately know another, I'm searching for confirmation that there is or isn't a service which can give one person confidence the other isn't going to harm them physically or financially. I certainly hope its understood that any such service does not mean you can trust them with anything, and thus you have to as you say "get to know them personally".

purple kimono​(sub female) • Aug 5, 2022

I suppose the point of my very true story is to show the answer to your question, which is: "clearly...no". If such a thing existed, we would all already be using it.

Nobody can offer such confidence in a stranger. This is perhaps why one researches, vets, uses standard safety measures, makes safe-calls. This process should be being explained to everyone.

We all have the same need for safety. Both sides of the slash. Unfortunately, confidence in someone's safety cannot ever actually be guaranteed for any one of us. For example, if I am very VERY skittish, a Dom has now wasted their money on "assurances" to me that he was safe - being that skittish, I might question the validity of the findings.

Things/situations always change the picture. Paying someone for confidence is a waste of money. Perhaps consider education about safety, instead - we all have the same concern about it. If a method to obtain these "assurances" existed, it would be common knowledge, even in the vanilla dating world. I wish there was a better answer for you.

Chalybe​(dom male) • Aug 11, 2022

I'm not sure I understand how the fingerprint method works. In the scenario described by OP, does he get a report and give it to her? What about his safety? I have read several times about a man meeting a woman somewhere, and her having a crew hiding to rob/steal etc. from the man.
Also, what all info does that report contain? full name, DOB, etc... fruit for identity theft.

I have developed a "spidey sense" with some of these "women". They do not answer direct questions, and oddly enough they don't know anything about the town they say they are from. Broken English is always fun too. And the screwball stories they invent.
To wit: States she is from Texas, does not know anything about the state, and is suddenly "deployed" to eastern europe.
Another says they are in my town, but oddly cannot name "the major north-south road" in town.
FFS, I did not get this old by being stupid.