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Is it Ghosting when ....

I'mME
1 year ago • Oct 15, 2022
I'mME • Oct 15, 2022
acquiesced wrote:
Ghosting is a product of the digital age. When one person simply stops responding, without the courtesy of an explanation as to why, or without a request to not be contacted again. Ghosting can happen because we rely on instant technology to communicate, and the same tech provides means and methods to ghost. Blocking, deleting, changing profiles, etc., and including just not responding. These are all methods to ghost someone.


The length of time that you have been communicating, whether it's one message or 20 years together (yes, it happens), doesn't matter.

Just because it's easy doesn't mean it's right. And it speaks to one's character.


Acquiesced,
Although it does speak to ones character , that can be a difficult to keep in mind when one engages with someone who says the right things, who seems to care and have your best interest in mind.
I'm referring to long time situations. Let's face it, there is a school of thought with Doms (m & f) that involves conditioning and it can begin almost from the beginning .

I am not saying that every person who calls themselves a Dom engages in it this process but it is a fact that this occurs.
Thr processes used with conditioning is designed to have a sub panting for their Dom in a short amount of time. A selfish person who uses these processes screws with peoples emotions, keeping them off kilter.

So when they do show their true colors by ghosting, or by telling w sub that they are done, letting them go, it becomes a matter of processing what happened, while still trying to keep in mind that it's the other person with the character issue not you.
Some people do not even go take any time to process but get back right into another dynamic or -ship.

Then the hamster wheel process begins.

I went too much over towards another topic but what I wrote does go to one of the reasons it sucks for people who have been dropped like trash at the dump.
RogerThat​(dom male)
1 year ago • Oct 19, 2022
RogerThat​(dom male) • Oct 19, 2022
I don't think there is anything wrong with not responding to someone when you have no pre-existing exchange or rapport. Sometimes it's best not to open the door and miscommunicated interest. It is ghosting when you have a pre-existing dialogue or relationship and the person blocks or ignores you without any explanation.

Everyone has their reasons but not everyone thinks of the impact the other person left without answers.
Musetta​(sub female)
1 year ago • Oct 20, 2022

Re: Is it Ghosting when ....

Musetta​(sub female) • Oct 20, 2022
chattel wrote:
you ask a question and they respond without answering your question or so vaguely that they may as well have not have answered?

Is it ghosting if you repeatedly ask something and are given the same nonanswer?

Talking about questions like "what dynamic do you seek?" or "what do expect from a slave?" or "what forms of (insert kink) do you enjoy?"


I wish I had an easy answer. Because as some have said, it is ghosting. But as others (me included) mentioned doing the whole, ‘thank you for your time, but no thanks’ thing leads to abuse way too often. And who needs that?
My tendency is to do a wind down of the relationship. If it’s clear it won’t work, I stop asking questions or engaging deeply and keep it light. Hey I like having new acquaintances (usually), so I reclassify them in my head and give them *nothing* of myself but small talk. It either slowly evolves into friendship, or they get bored and go away.
Sirius Black​(dom male)
1 year ago • Oct 21, 2022

Re: Is it Ghosting when ....

Sirius Black​(dom male) • Oct 21, 2022
chattel wrote:
you ask a question and they respond without answering your question or so vaguely that they may as well have not have answered?

Is it ghosting if you repeatedly ask something and are given the same nonanswer?

Talking about questions like "what dynamic do you seek?" or "what do expect from a slave?" or "what forms of (insert kink) do you enjoy?"


Communication is and should always be at the forefront and baseline of everything involving the kink community... quite frankly, if the level of communication, in all senses of the word level, isn't up to par with the expectations of what you seek... it matters not whether it is considered ghosting at all... because it's past time you do.