Online now
Online now

Training Young Subs VS Older Subs

Miki
1 week ago • Nov 19, 2023
Miki • Nov 19, 2023
... as both you and LordofPain-in-the-ass56 wrote, things have changed today and moved towards a more hedonistic way of conducting this type of personal life. Some even take it beyond, I have seen obvios D/s dynamics in public.. Basic shit like one walking behind the other, the clothing style one of them wears, etc.

But still, a very quick point.... Human Nature.

Look at marriage. Discounting obvious promo-marriages for celebs, today when one or the other gets bored, instead of addressing the root cause of the boredom, they just throw in the towel and move on to the Next Best Thing.

This started occurring in mainstream marriages over a half century ago. From what I read the "liberating" aspects of the social changes of the 1960s included shit-canning boring marriages were a good part of the changes. Second to that the "Live-In, Love-in teddy" shit. Why get married when you know you'll both move on. Marriage only benefits divorce lawyers.

So it goes for living the twisted life. Commitment, rolling with the punches, working out the inevitable changes that occur when a marriage moves from the initial love-fest phase to being more of a friendship and partnership.

So best of luck to the senior set.

If I were given to relationships, I'd have fallen in the "latter day dynamic" category myself. But I skipped the whole process outright. I am incapable of generating the requisite enthusiasm to risk my careeer path and independence of living by myself and calling my own shots.


...But that's just me.
lambsone
1 week ago • Nov 19, 2023
lambsone • Nov 19, 2023
Are there any other Dominants out there that have some helpful answers to the original question in this degenerating thread? I am interested in some responses that address the main idea of what I asked. I was a younger sub and now I'm an older sub and am wondering if you approach them differently and how you do that. So far I have received no new insights.
LordofPain56
1 week ago • Nov 20, 2023
LordofPain56 • Nov 20, 2023
lambsone wrote:
She's only allowed to agree or disagree with a "your rules" situation not an "our rules" situation. If she doesn't agree, then it's your way or the highway.

I'm sorry you got that impression. There is a phrase down near the end of the profile that talks about trading lists, having discussions and negotiations. Whether it specifically stated the rules would be amended (if possible) after negotiations I don't remember, but that was the intent. Otherwise why would I call for negotiations in the first place?
lambsone wrote:
are you leaving room for a person's growth and change as they age? This includes your own growth and change. I see your sub being scared to death over time, to have an idea of her own much less express it to you because you've left no room for that.

I may not have included specifically any avenue for a possible interim revisiting of the "covenant", but I believed there was enough evidence put forth that discussions about changes could take place at any time. I would hope that she would not be walking on eggshells for any length of time about something she could no longer handle. My policiy IS; all you have to do is say so.
lambsone wrote:
So, I agree with you on the idea of training. What the heck is it anyway?

I've never been involved in any training. However, there have been obvious person-to-person "demonstrations" so that she could actually experience what was written in the profile. The purpose of that being for her to decide if she wanted that and if not to decline.
lambsone wrote:
you expect any age to do exactly what you want them to. But other Doms may have issues with it.

Not exactly sure what you mean, but yes, I expect the rules to be followed. Otherwise why have them. They exist for good reason. But you only got to see one side of it. I did not submit a sub's responses to my rules. In some cases, there could be amendments. But there are some rules in there that are deal-breakers if they are opposed (in which case a relationship must NOT ensue at all).
There was a method to my madness.
Still don't understand the need for training. Initial demonstrations to determine compatibility, YES, but training, no. Just live the lifestyle laid out in the agreed up[on "covenant" and follow the rules. Very simple and uncomplicated, right?
lambsone
1 week ago • Nov 20, 2023
lambsone • Nov 20, 2023
I think after reading all of the info you provided, I may have been so overwhelmed by your thoughts that I didn't see clearly the room for negotiation. Thanks for that clarity. I'm relieved that you are leaving room for yourself and your future submissive to adapt to one another as you interact over time.
dollMaker​(dom male)
1 week ago • Nov 21, 2023
dollMaker​(dom male) • Nov 21, 2023
There maybe some compromises required because of physical differences but in general those issues could apply to someone younger as well, for instance kneeling. My current doll, can’t kneel for long due to some physical discomfort, they are young, oldest person I was ever involved with, in their 60s, could kneel all day with no issues.

I think that for me I don’t differentiate on the grounds of age, but instead approach each involvement on the basis of specifics relating to that individual, tailoring, maybe compromising requirements but those don’t have anything to do with age, just individual ability, physical, health issues, and other factors that would, might require a different approach to others.

One of my early involvements, sadly short lived, their simple acts of submission, such as kneeling, which doing was accompanied by extreme pain, as was a lot they did, meant a massive amount to me. I did not require them to do so, but they wanted to do so, that wanting and doing was very special to me.

In short I see the differences in training as falling outside age as a consideration and thinking about age in this context, regarding headspace, is very limiting. I feel, if you are over 18, for me over 21, then age is not for me ever a consideration, connection is much more important.
Sweetlydepraved​(masochist female){Owned}
1 week ago • Nov 21, 2023
I think my needs are different at my age than they were in my 20s, and even my upper 30s. In my 20s I wasn’t interested in a full dynamic, I only had 1 Dom but he was a play partner. We had no relationship outside the few hours a week we spent together for about two years. When I was in my 30s I was in a deeper dynamic but still not looking for a daily basis type of thing. In my early 40s I decided I do want a 24/7 dynamic and I started the search that led me where I am today.

I dislike the focus of “training” and I prefer to think of it as alignment. My Daddy is aligning me to fit his life and wants and needs while at the same time aligning himself to fit me too. When/if he takes another submissive that will certainly look different than how he works with me because she will have a different place in his life. I don’t think age has anything to do with it and it is more so about needs, wants, and capabilities.
Miki
6 days ago • Nov 21, 2023
Miki • Nov 21, 2023
@Sweetlydepraved​

You're exactly right. I wrote along the same lines on a previous page. With time, age, maturity come different prospects on something, someone etc.

as for "training" "alignment"--- For me it's semantics. Both refer to a dominant doing something to cause a submissive to conduct themselves in a manner befitting his/her preferences.

It's why I never got into dynamics or any sort of relationships for that matter, beyond friendship. Anyone trying to mold me into their idea of how I should act... can go pound sand.

No one will ever me to act in any certain way unless their position in my life is that of "employer".

I follow directions and perform tasks where necessary.

But that's just me....