I have nothing to add to what has already been said apart from ..... “I am still not yet an Elder of the Council and probably never will be if I keep coming out with daft sayings like this.”
You will find Him (or her) that is for sure.
I mean look at me, I’m a daft old white guy and I found my slice of heaven and didn’t even have to die first.
Interview them. That's what I did when I had a guy say u can't talk to any other dom after talkin to them for just mayb an hour. I told him look this is an interview process. I gave them a detailed list of what I needed out of them and what I wanted. Yes being a sub is doing what they want being what they need. But in my opinion u have to work up to that to a certain degree. Now don't be shy or gentle about about it I wasn't anyway. I just said : I don't wanna be called a slut unless it is playtime!! I will not send nudes of myself with my face in them until there is a strong base line trust!!!! If they didn't like that I simply said I am sorry but i dont think this is going to work. That weeded out most of the jack asses.