Help me teach my husband to be a dom.

Xarimaz​(sub male){Would love} • Oct 31, 2018

I just added it to my phone ill sign up asap

TXDomPolyhouse​(dom male) • Nov 5, 2018

Hey Boy, we have chatted a bit about this. And I know you had have some results now.

But what MasterBear says is very true. He also needs to show his initiative.

That being said, maybe it is in him but he never thought about it, or never thought it could be ok to do things like that. In many cases it is taboo.

Just don't push too hard. You don't want him to become somebody he is not, he wont be the same parson you fell in love with.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Nov 12, 2018

The fact that you said, "I want him to be selfish and domeneering." Is a big red flag to me.

No /true/ dominant will be either of those. If that's what you're looking for I do suggest you reevaluate your stance on the community. It's a hurtful stereotype that will most likely only cause you and potential Doms problems down the road.

Now, if you're looking for actually having a /Dominant/, then I suggest having a deep conversation with your husband about both of your wants and needs.

He needs to know what you're looking to get out of this sort of a relationship, and vice versa. Because you have a lot of work involved in a D/s relationship too.

Get yourselves some books. Look through the resources here and do some googling. Maybe find places around you to meet those who have been in for a while and talk. Be open.

If he really isnt into it... you're not going to make him dominant. And /you/ should not be doing it anyway. /He/ should be the one "changing" himself. My husband brought all of this up to me, but it wasnt until /I/ started working on myself that any changes started happening. And I'm happier for it. But being forced to do something wont get anyone anywhere.

Basically, learn about the community yourself, help him to find resources if he is actually interested, and then just hope for the best. Its ultimately up to him, not you.

Hopefully this can help you.

DrWakko • Nov 12, 2018

I don’t believe you can teach someone to be a Dom. I believe that if you are a Dom there are resources to help bring out the Dom.

It’s easier to learn to Top. Being a Top you can role play D/s scenes, but it won’t be a 24/7 you can enjoy what you get. Have fun with it.

sweetd0428​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2018

I've found when I have broached the topic of me testing out if someone is more of a standard man / missionary/ no toys etc. I ask them what they think of tying me up ? A lot immediately say im not into bondage.
I then ask them what they think bondage is . I explain that will I absolutely love being tied up . Im not into torture or extreme pain inflicted . That having your wrists cuffed and being blindfolded is very exciting just in itself, as you dont know what your partner is going to do. Now YES I DO ENJOY pain just not torture. But I have trained 4 men skills in dominating me. Afterall being with a partner means you both should want to give eachother deep pleasure. BUT WITH VANILLA people you introduce each thing seperately until your partner is comfortable then you add another thing youre interested into.
Last night I asked a vanilla man if he loved my breasts and if he enjoys playing with a womans breast. He was like absolutely ! So then I ventured into the fact that I LOVE my breasts tied up that by doing this the womans breast swell even more and become so very sensitive that it drives me wild. And that it doesnt hurt in an awful way at all but in an aching throbbing way .
I told him Im not into whips n paddles. If he slowly turns n branches out as most always do once they realize how exciting it truly is and he wants to try spanking me then I will be open to it. He doesnt know it yet but one day he will be cuffed and blindfolded but only to be kissed from his feet all the way up.....I like making my man tremble too, although Im no way a dom but I do know everyone likes to be teased and played with n he will be there begging me to uncuff him .,in which when I do Im guaranteed to get fucked very hard n very good . Owned ? just have to talk and explain what youd like to start out with , nothing severe at first and go from there.
And since he seems fearful assure him you will never do anything to him unless he asks. That you just want and need this and that it will make you both closer.
Good luck !

sweetd0428​(sub female) • Nov 12, 2018

I've found when I have broached the topic of me testing out if someone is more of a standard man / missionary/ no toys etc. I ask them what they think of tying me up ? A lot immediately say im not into bondage.
I then ask them what they think bondage is . I explain that will I absolutely love being tied up . Im not into torture or extreme pain inflicted . That having your wrists cuffed and being blindfolded is very exciting just in itself, as you dont know what your partner is going to do. Now YES I DO ENJOY pain just not torture. But I have trained 4 men skills in dominating me. Afterall being with a partner means you both should want to give eachother deep pleasure. BUT WITH VANILLA people you introduce each thing seperately until your partner is comfortable then you add another thing youre interested into.
Last night I asked a vanilla man if he loved my breasts and if he enjoys playing with a womans breast. He was like absolutely ! So then I ventured into the fact that I LOVE my breasts tied up that by doing this the womans breast swell even more and become so very sensitive that it drives me wild. And that it doesnt hurt in an awful way at all but in an aching throbbing way .
I told him Im not into whips n paddles. If he slowly turns n branches out as most always do once they realize how exciting it truly is and he wants to try spanking me then I will be open to it. He doesnt know it yet but one day he will be cuffed and blindfolded but only to be kissed from his feet all the way up.....I like making my man tremble too, although Im no way a dom but I do know everyone likes to be teased and played with n he will be there begging me to uncuff him .,in which when I do Im guaranteed to get fucked very hard n very good . Owned ? just have to talk and explain what youd like to start out with , nothing severe at first and go from there.
And since he seems fearful assure him you will never do anything to him unless he asks. That you just want and need this and that it will make you both closer.
Good luck !

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Nov 12, 2018

Sorry, but there are a lot of just plain wrong assumptions here as well as consent issues. Between this and your other forum post it seems clear to me that you lack the basic understanding of BDSM and should not be giving advice at this point.

What you think is Domination is in fact topping, and you seem to have issues with topping from the bottom.

What you describe as training is simply communicating your needs to partners. Training has a very specific meaning in BDSM and that ain't it.

New things need to be added one at a time and slowly in kink as well as vanilla, and communication is the key.

Your focus on the physical, assumptions about vanilla and kinky partners and male pleasure are misinformed and dangerous.

Please take the time to read, research and ask more questions before you offer other new folks advice.

Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Nov 16, 2018

I would suggest asking to have some specific play incorporated into your sex life. Think about some fun, but not too intense things for him to do to and with you.


You can also start to act the part. I am not sure of your desires, but start doing the things for him you would as his sub. What ever he likes sexual, do.

Be playful and submissive. Run his feet while on your knees...treat him like the King you want him to be.

But I do think you need to make sure this is what he wants and who he is. Talk to him. Read websites and books together. Watch bdsm porn.

Talk with him ...

FabSeverus​(dom male) • Nov 16, 2018

I agree with fudbar, please sweetd0428 dont advise anybody else. Your kink is yours but denote some serious safety issues. Just to point one from your profile:
"He leaves the room with the machine on medium......."
Never leaved a sub unsupervised. And I wont talk about the breast bondage for hours!!