Online now
Join us!
Sign up Sign In

Please stop ghosting.

↑ ↓
Miki​(masochist female)
6 days ago • Thu 06 Dec 2018 04:49:51 PM IST
Miki​(masochist female) • Thu 06 Dec 2018 04:49:51 PM IST
@ CK45​(sub female)-- Thanks.. I did overlook the "freeze and run" aspect. In those shoes I would back off a bit because ghosting is not something I want to knowingly inflict on someone.

The ol' "Maybe I'm not as ready for this shit as I ought to be."

The other instance-- in here, a dom would not take a polite "No, Thanks" fr an answer and sometimes wrote to me when somewhat "under the influence" became supremely annoying and I had to block his ass. Not a bad dude, just one who needs to chill and retool his approach ---before showing off his tool.
Masterray7​(dom male)
6 days ago • Thu 06 Dec 2018 04:56:44 PM IST
Masterray7​(dom male) • Thu 06 Dec 2018 04:56:44 PM IST
Kara wrote:
Masterray7 wrote:
People here post Ad for Submission but can't have decent conversation.

Really sick of it !


Conversation is a two way street. Are you holding up your end ? Listening to your partners ? Are there a multitude of topics being discussed, or just what you wants her to do ?


Yes dear, I have a Dom for many years. And I have posted this after facing the issue multiple times.
FabSeverus​(dom male)
6 days ago • Thu 06 Dec 2018 05:11:30 PM IST
FabSeverus​(dom male) • Thu 06 Dec 2018 05:11:30 PM IST
Miki wrote:
I think he meant "say something before leaving" which, while such would negate the whole "ghosting" act, it's considerate and polite.


being a non english myself I did wonder what he meant of course, as the purpose of ghosting Is to stop comms without warning!

Masterray7 wrote:
People here post Ad for Submission but can't have decent conversation.

Really sick of it !


you have been a Dom for two years? you sould be used to it, no need to get angry about it, and you should know when the person is serious or interested with you. Maybe your profile doesnt interested them or tell something about you they dont like ?
Kara​(sub female){Enslaved}
6 days ago • Thu 06 Dec 2018 05:27:35 PM IST
Kara​(sub female){Enslaved} • Thu 06 Dec 2018 05:27:35 PM IST
[quote="Masterray7"][quote="Kara"]
Masterray7 wrote:

Yes dear, I have a Dom for many years. And I have posted this after facing the issue multiple times.


I didn’t ask about your experience or if you had only had this problem once. I asked about your approach in hopes of understanding things a bit better.

On an off topic note, I find things like “dear” offensive and patronizing from strangers. Please refrain from such when addressing me unless my approval has been granted.
Miki​(masochist female)
5 days ago • Thu 06 Dec 2018 10:55:37 PM IST
Miki​(masochist female) • Thu 06 Dec 2018 10:55:37 PM IST
[quote="FabSeverus"]
Miki wrote:
I think he meant "say something before leaving" which, while such would negate the whole "ghosting" act, it's considerate and polite.


being a non english myself I did wonder what he meant of course, as the purpose of ghosting Is to stop comms without warning!

Yes, of course.. I'm generally careful about colloquialisms, but sometimes I mess up. Last week I wrote somewhere about my work, overnight shifts, sees me alone more often than not in the office and once in a while I'd step out on break and "spark a bone" and a guy who is from Germany was, "Huh?" Of course here they have a variety of expressions for a marijuana cigarette and a "bone" is one of them. (That substance was legalized-- in quantities < 1 ounce in my state 2 years ago by referendum, though it remains illegal on the Federal level)
FabSeverus​(dom male)
5 days ago • Fri 07 Dec 2018 12:53:32 AM IST
FabSeverus​(dom male) • Fri 07 Dec 2018 12:53:32 AM IST
@Miki, I was expecting a different interpretation of "spark a bone" and maybe the same as the german guy lol!

But for the op I think the problematic is a house one I am afraid....
Masterray7​(dom male)
5 days ago • Fri 07 Dec 2018 06:23:50 AM IST
Masterray7​(dom male) • Fri 07 Dec 2018 06:23:50 AM IST
FabSeverus wrote:
Miki wrote:
I think he meant "say something before leaving" which, while such would negate the whole "ghosting" act, it's considerate and polite.


being a non english myself I did wonder what he meant of course, as the purpose of ghosting Is to stop comms without warning!

Masterray7 wrote:
People here post Ad for Submission but can't have decent conversation.

Really sick of it !


you have been a Dom for two years? you sould be used to it, no need to get angry about it, and you should know when the person is serious or interested with you. Maybe your profile doesnt interested them or tell something about you they dont like ?


It's a forum to discuss topics like this.
Masterray7​(dom male)
5 days ago • Fri 07 Dec 2018 06:25:33 AM IST
Masterray7​(dom male) • Fri 07 Dec 2018 06:25:33 AM IST
[quote="Kara"][quote="Masterray7"]
Kara wrote:
Masterray7 wrote:

Yes dear, I have a Dom for many years. And I have posted this after facing the issue multiple times.


I didn’t ask about your experience or if you had only had this problem once. I asked about your approach in hopes of understanding things a bit better.

On an off topic note, I find things like “dear” offensive and patronizing from strangers. Please refrain from such when addressing me unless my approval has been granted.


I don't use dear always. Sorry if you felt bad.
Kara​(sub female){Enslaved}
5 days ago • Fri 07 Dec 2018 11:10:36 AM IST
Kara​(sub female){Enslaved} • Fri 07 Dec 2018 11:10:36 AM IST
Masterray7 wrote:


I don't use dear always. Sorry if you felt bad.


Finding something patronizing is not feeling “bad”. It is saying that something has been found disrespectful and asking that it not be used in future or establishing a boundary. No, you don’t always use “dear”; it wasn’t used with anyone else and it’s not going to be used with me.

This explains it. You don’t listen to what is being expressed. These women who “ghosted” you probably gave up trying to get you to listen to what was being said and didn’t want to be rude. You probably were told many times that there was a lack of interest in continuing, but glossed over it. Some of us aren’t blunt like me when it comes to saying that there’s no point in speaking with someone who doesn’t listen.

I suggest any woman who speaks to you, after she finds out that you have no interest in weighing her words and ideas, simply hit you with a “We’re done. Contact me again and get blocked.” It’s worked for me in my single days.