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Consequences for Invoking Safe-Word

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️}
5 years ago • Nov 9, 2018

Re: 'no' just MEANS NO simple as that

Samsea wrote:
Whatever the safe word agreed between the two who are 'playing' to my mind 'no' just MEANS NO simple as that; and there is no further need to discuss it further. If there is, then your with the wrong partner.


"No" resisting and struggling are all key parts of CNC. It's the entire point of a safe word and discussion. You are in a world where no does not always mean no. Safewords are a system that accommodates that.
Villanelle​(staff)
5 years ago • Nov 9, 2018
Villanelle​(staff) • Nov 9, 2018
One of the biggest issues I've had with submissives is NOT using a safeword or otherwise speaking up when they feel uncomfortable or upset. Safe words, the traffic light system, and similar methods are tools for communication, not elements of some game testing your endurance. There's no worse feeling for a dominant than realizing you've pushed your sub too far and damaged them in some way. NOT using your safewords or similar methods is a betrayal of your agreement and it's your job as a submissive to take 50% of the responsibility for your well being and that of your dominant.
Samsea​(dom male)
5 years ago • Nov 9, 2018
Samsea​(dom male) • Nov 9, 2018
Well said Evangeline, the main point I was trying to make was, between the two of you agree to a safe word, that means NO: and stick to it ...
Onlinedomguy​(dom male)
5 years ago • Nov 18, 2018
Onlinedomguy​(dom male) • Nov 18, 2018
To me it seems pretty clear. Using a safe word is there to protect both sub snd Dom. There should never be consequences beyond playing being stopped snd a conversation starts to understand why. I don't understand how it could be viewed anyway else.

I always am checking in, using red, yellow, green to make sure everything is good. I use this approach to hopefully avoid the need for safe words, but I do use them and never do I question the need.

It's a great chance to talk openly about what was happening and get things back on track.

To me it's similar to a withdraw of consent.