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Do you hide your stuff?

MasterBear​(other butch)
5 years ago • Dec 4, 2018

Do you hide your stuff?

MasterBear​(other butch) • Dec 4, 2018
Hello All,
I got to thinking.
We have a dungeon without a door from the hallway.
Anytime you walk by that room you can see right into it. It's pretty big, so we have all our big equipment in there.

Plus my 3 cork boards of toys.

Point is---- I dont put away anything when ppl come over.
Even service ppl.

So I got to thinking a lot of ppl have family over for the holidays- what do you do with your stuff?

We dont have that issue.
NaivelyOptimistic​(sub female)
5 years ago • Dec 4, 2018
I'm very curious in general how much people share about their BDSM lives with others. Do close friends and/or family know? Do they only know a vague outline but not the gritty details? Are you more comfortable sharing with acquaintances and distant friends because they're less likely to be weirdly invasive in your life?

I'm a pretty vulnerable person, and I don't compartmentalize anything. I don't hide things from others, really. So already just in my dabbling in this world, it's been very strange to have to stop myself from mentioning something in conversation with my (very conservative) family. I don't know how I could keep this up for a prolonged period of time.
HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat}
5 years ago • Dec 4, 2018
My family knows nothing and I would kind of prefer to keep it that way. I dont feel like dealing with the questions and judgement. Especially being a dominant /female/ - I think some people we know would have problems with that. Some friends maybe know, as my husband wears his collar as often as he can (Work gets in the way) but other than that, we dont necessarily broadcast it. There just... isnt a need.

Even regardless of the lifestyle, I would hide everything of ours if we had guests coming over. They're not a part of our relationship/sex life, out of respect they dont need to be subjected to it.

It's a matter of not forcing my kinks onto others. There is nothing wrong with being sexual or open or proud, but there comes a time when respect for others opinions/feelings is more important. It's not such a huge deal to where, if I left a dildo or strapon or something out, and someone saw it, I would lose my mind. But I wont purposefully force people to see what we own.
    The most loved post in topic
sweetserenity​(sub female)
5 years ago • Dec 4, 2018
Honestly, if you live with someone else cool I understand being considerate but it’s your place I don’t feel like you should have to hide anything. ??‍♀️ You’re an adult.
MissBonnie​(dom female){oz}
5 years ago • Dec 4, 2018
I have children. When they where younger nothing was hidden apart from your more intimate toys like insertables. As they got older, I' d just simply close my door (so envious of Bears Dungeon ..sighhhhh Gawd my Queenodom for a small spare room!)

As they reached mid teens, I actually reverted to single days and started to put things away, even thought my kids knew of my kinked leanings but not blow by blow details (in short they know we do BDSM just not who does what etc.). I just found it easier with them bringing home friends on the fly. I felt it spared having to give explanations to angry parents that it may of been reported back too. Things are now not locked away, just put away. I have a large set of steamer trunks fitted out for us and free standing antique wardrobe also fitted out. they open and everything is easily grab~able (if it get put back right LOL). My St A cross also got a make over, it now holds a large painting. My Bed is adapted but not visible unless you look. My benches and chairs etc are the same. A nosey person that opens, lifts or pokes will notice things very easily but on first glance or walk by....'nilla!

As I grew in the BDSM community: I tended to think more about consent (as Bear mentioned) I figured even though, I am adult and my subs are consensual, my children are some what knowledgeable and they have sort of accepted things, that in a way is openly consenting...I figure there friends, trades etc are not consenting and even with this being my space I need to accept that also.
Canadian​(dom male)
5 years ago • Dec 12, 2018
Canadian​(dom male) • Dec 12, 2018
I’ve always said to myself if I were to have built a house for myself I’d build a room just big enough for play and a collection with a door that hides the room from sight and family and friends would never know it was there icon_smile.gif
SirHanz​(dom male){Minx}
5 years ago • Dec 14, 2018
SirHanz​(dom male){Minx} • Dec 14, 2018
I think having a door on your play room can be good. Especially if it's a big scary looking door that just screams "the things behind this door will be awesome "
The anticipation a sub gets when they are told to stand in front of the door and wait can be wonderful.