More than One

Freya369 • Dec 7, 2018

Dear Fate,

Don't ever be uncertain about asking a question. Actually, yours is a great one! I am very new to all this too and feel even more awkward in having to admit that your question has never popped into my mind at all...so you see there is always someone more clueless!

So I read your profile and it is quite clear that from that, and you state very clearly what you do and do not want. As I just happen to agree with your approach, we can deduce you have answered at least part of your question.

This concerns "focus" and a "commitment level" which you describe would make the relationship dynamic work for you.

I have thought a lot about why I am so, and always have been, almost fixed on monogamy. Although, by no means a complete list, focus, commitment and with hopefully, an intensity of experience, I just don't see how I could handle that level with more than one person! Surely, most people here would agree that these relationship have an extra "wow factor!" And it is recognised as being very addictive. Maybe that's another part of the answer, some have a larger capacity for the biochemical release.

As a fairly equal "switch" note to self, must change my profile, I can attest that the intensity is on both sides of the pendulum, but I am a woman, and obviously can not know what a male Dom is experiencing. So, we need male Dom perspective.

The complexity of adding additional people to this dynamic, seems at least for me out of the question. I think spontaneous combustion springs to mind!

In addition, it's clear not everyone experiences the intensity of "anything" in exactly the same way, vanilla or kink, stamina, emotional intelligence or the lack thereof, must come into play. How does the Dom/sub experience differ among all the permeatations that are possible, in terms of the list sited above? I know some here will think I might be being a bit discourteous, but I often use a bit of Northern UK humour to get my point across.

If, someone is pretending to be a small domestic pet, or playing a small rodent with their owner, just what determines the limit on the number of pets one could have? Obviously, I need help understanding how quantity is arrived at and by what criteria. Not judging...just trying to understand.

More than One

Fate • Dec 7, 2018

I’ve been hesitant to ask this question because I feel like I’m going to get harsh responses from those who misunderstand my intent behind the query. So, please, don’t hear what I am not saying. I say what I mean, and I mean what I say. No hidden agenda.

I’m not at all being rebellious here or in any way trying to evoke a scorned sub uprising. Lol. I’m just very new and thus unaware of some of the rationales behind certain rules (albeit unspoken ) surrounding the lifestyle.

And actually, rules is not the right word, but I’m concussed right now and cannot think of the proper one. Bents, maybe?

Anyway, my question is this:


~*~*~*~Why is it okay for Doms to have more than one sub, but not okay for subs to have more than one Dom?~*~*~*~


This is an honest question.

Am I misunderstanding that the above seems to be true/the case?

I’m genuinely curious. I’m not being obstinate at all against the way things work. I just really want and, because double-standards are a huge 50caliber negative trigger for me, I really need to know legitimate answers to this question. No vitriol please.

Thoughts?

Sorry so long, and thanks in advance for feedback and any insight you can provide.

Faters