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A Struggling Dom

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Dom Con​(dom male)
1 year ago • 01/10/2019 5:01 am
Dom Con​(dom male) • 01/10/2019 5:01 am
MasterBear wrote:
I judge all the time.
What I let come out my mouth is a different matter.

I tend not to care about the age unless they say they are 22 with 10 years experience. Then I just move on.

I always go back to the eternally wise Leslie Jordan:


"What they think about me is none of my business".

Do you feel like a D type?
Do you feel like you are playing dress up?

If so work on those things.

But if not dont let others try and convince you that you are.


HI MasterBear,
Firstly thank you for taking the time to read my post, it is greatly appreciated.

Next thank you for your words they pack a heavy message, and as mentioned before I usually do not let such things plague my mind but this has caused quite a dark cloud to form, in recent times.
I appreciate what you have said and your honesty, and find them a breath of fresh air, this is exactly what I was looking for when creating this post was others' own personal views, thoughts, feelings and opinions, and that is exactly what you have provided so again, I am very thankful for you doing that.

I will and have taken you words with deep consideration and thought.

Wish you all the best.

Dom Con
Dom Con​(dom male)
1 year ago • 01/10/2019 5:10 am
Dom Con​(dom male) • 01/10/2019 5:10 am
curiouskittyy wrote:
I agree with MasterBear! This is your personal journey and it doesn’t matter what others think, as long as what you’re doing is consensual and done safely.

Everyone has a personal preference with age, just like with all physical traits. Some prefer older (which could still be you for those <26) and some prefer younger. Some love curves and some want athletic builds. Some prefer short and some tall etc etc.
Then there are those who care less about the physical traits and prefer to know the person, putting higher preferences on mental connections. You can’t please everyone, so try not to worry about those who think your age is a negative thing. That’s their intake and not the opinion of everyone.

I know you’re a great and genuine guy from the conversations we’ve had, and I know you take this lifestyle very seriously. In my view, I think the only reason you may be struggling to find a sub on cage is because:

1) There isn’t many from the UK on here, so unless you want an online or long distance relationship, it kinda limits your options.
2) From conversations I’ve had with subs on here, many want to combine a romantic relationship with D/s. If this isn’t something you are after, it again limits your appeal to those who do.
3) There seems to be a high number of subs who have no/little experience of BDSM and want to learn from someone with years and years of experience. This can only come from those older than yourself and so in this situation, they may exclude you based on age.

My advice would be to broaden your horizons and be patient. Like I said, you’re a great guy and I know the perfect sub/muse is out there for you! Good luck x

To CuriousKitty,

Where could I possibly begin...We have spoken often and I find you one of the most down to Earth, fun and open minded people I have ever come across, not only in the D/s lifestyle but life in general.

You know I appreciate every word you say and everything you say is always spot on, I have huge admiration and respect for you and when I saw your post on here it just confirmed everything I was unsure of and filled me with renewed vigor and spirit.

You truly are one of a kind and I think extremely highly of you, what you write, well It just makes sense and is so honest and true.

Anyway I won't gush to much, as I would hate to embarrass you, but know I always see you as such a positive reinforcement and person in this community, and look forward to speaking with you later on, as I always do.

Yours Sincerely,
Dom Con icon_smile.gif
Sweet and spice​(sub female)
1 year ago • 01/10/2019 5:33 am
Sweet and spice​(sub female) • 01/10/2019 5:33 am
It is difficult for an inexperienced sub to find your way through all the posers. A lot of men on here claim the tile of Dom, Daddy and Master and have no clue that just because you call yourself something doesn't make you the real thing. For me it's all I have read, research, the little experience I have, life experience and my gut feeling. So far, all of my encounters on here haven't felt like the real thing at all. I have a desire to submit but to someone who will not even take the time to get to know me and is just looking to get laid and abuse.
1 year ago • 01/10/2019 1:02 pm
Freya369 • 01/10/2019 1:02 pm
A curious happenstance is in evidence lately. Word usage is becoming more predicated on individual interpretation/definition or what may genuinely, but erroneously believed to be the true meaning of specific words.

Is this the fault of our new technologies? Falling reading levels? Laziness? Or just deceit?

Monogamy was stated in the your profile.

Monogamy, that's a great word and is full of meaning, especially for a partner who grasps it's true depth. It also has an impact on the reader, especially if the reader has principles, another great word. Words prompt actions, reactions, have consequences. Yes, No, are two of the most powerful words in any language, and if misunderstood can have disastrous results in any "realm."

Perhaps I am old fashioned, being more careful in what we say and write is important.

Profiles, are an opportunity to be explicit and clear, but in our world has become so subjective, that I personally don't use them anymore! Preferring to talk directly, though no less problematic, is at least personal.

Your age was the main concern in your post, I think? From my view, your relationship status, and the new addition of a child would have been 2 huge red flags. Any relationship requires attention, and non more so than the kind you seek. Tremendous focus, time investment, energy requirements, as you are from the UK, you will know this saying "Eee, Lad Where Would You Find The F&££)£ ing Time!"

Subs need attention, lots of attention.

The fact that you have had a number of them in 5 years is significant and the failure of keeping one long term is telling you something.

A true Dom must develop the ability to put his own wants/needs on the back burner, at least until Junior is out of nappies!
JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ}
1 year ago • 01/10/2019 4:52 pm
JaimeJade​(sub female){BaronJ} • 01/10/2019 4:52 pm
Dom Con I’ve met you, I’m 6 years older than you but honestly, you are older than your years, very mature, very well spoken and great to talk with. I honestly think, as we have spoken before, that you should get out there and meet people in Munches, then they can see for real who you are and not judge you by your age. They won’t know how old you are upon meeting, so perhaps leave that as an air of mystery.... I think it’ll also renew your faith in this community as there are many more fakes on here and other social media sites but I think myself lucky that I have had the pleasure of meeting you and becoming your friend. Another option is to take your age off your profile and see what happens.... x