Is Anal Play Taboo For Young, Straight Subs?

arlene​(masochist female) • Aug 19, 2021

Even some straight sub females don’t want anal.

MrFulmen • Aug 19, 2021

Anal is great for people who like it and no good for people who don't like it. Isn't a male or a female thing, and it doesn't have to be a sub or a dom thing--everybody has an asshole.

What's absolute bullshit, though, is this:



If you're any kind of left-of-the-slash kind of person, never ever say anything like that. If someone isn't into the things you want to do to them, it is gross and manipulative to suggest that it's because they aren't openminded, that they aren't truly submitting, or because of toxic masculinity. If someone doesn't want to take it up the ass, or get beaten, or lick feet, or any other thing--it's your sacred duty to respect the shit out of that preference and never try to make them feel less because of it.

You can absolutely be a truly submissive man and not like taking anal. Submission is about your heart, not your ass.

Atominizer​(sub male) • Aug 31, 2021

As a sub, you decide my limits and own. i expect no decisions. only what you want and to serve.

Re: Is Anal Play Taboo For Young, Straight Subs?

rapidlyhip​(switch male) • Sep 12, 2021

Early on I was very resistant to it, but around 29 i tried it abs loved it. At one point got a vibe to use.

My fear was more of the ‘what if I enjoy it too much” variety, along with feeling like it’s such a dirty spot (for obvious reasons).

GyulankDprobaljakihu • Sep 15, 2021

I don’t understand what’s surprising about being a straight man, straight. Logic...

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Sep 15, 2021

This thread has been around for awhile, and resurfacing again. i noticed that i'd read it, but never responded.

i don't know that age is really much of a factor? i was anal way before i discovered i have a penis. One could argue that's because i'm gay, but there are a lot of gay guys who are not anal and have similar fears and objections to anal as straight guys do. However, many have been culturally conditioned to associate guys doing anal with "gay," so even if it is untrue and irrational, i think the emotional component is imbedded in many.

i appreciate dollMaker's response about anal being "...the purest form of domination," and questioning putting the "body before mind" (though i am not sure they can be truly separated?). And that's where my thoughts go on this topic.

i think most have been conditioned to view anal as a non sexual region at the most basic level, and as something dirty and even shameful at the other end of the spectrum. Somewhere in the middle is the 'ick' factor. So a lot of (most?) people have some negative conditioning about their anus. Add to that, who really knows where the nature/nurture line is drawn? i believe a lot of nature is also a result of past generation 'nurture' that gets passed on genetically, but that is speculative.

The point is, i think most of us have negative conditioning about our anus and more so against anal penetration. Obviously, a fair amount of people have discovered and overcome that conditioning. i discovered my anus at age 7 when a neighborhood boy showed me an enema nozzle and explained with lust in his eyes what it was used for. Nothing further happened between us, but i had a crush on this boy and as soon as i got home, i found the enema nozzle in our bathroom and, following his explanation/description, in it went. i associated it with him and it opened not only my anus, but something psychological in me. In a sense, He penetrated me. But i still had my emotional cultural conditioning, so there were also feelings of embarrasement and shame, it was a secret, something i hid.

Even at my age and experience level, i still have the emotional conditioning that i was raised with, no mater how enlightened my rational brain is. Feelings are feelings. i do not think we control how we feel, even though we can (sometimes) control how we act or respond to what we feel.

i think it is our feelings, our emotional conditioning, that can make anal such a rich area for domination. Sure, there is the physical stuff, but so much of the physical is attached to our psychological wiring, which i think makes it fertile ground for D/s. i think the 'objections' many have are culturally programmed and represent deep potential for D/s dynamic precisely for that reason. But it takes understanding, skill and patience to tap into, influence and manipulate those elements.

i don't think it's black or white. As with all BDSM activity and kink, i think we have to walk with respect. But subs have an intrinsic need to submit and Dom's have an intrinsic need to dominate... the challenge is always finding the conduit through which the two connect and bond. i think the Dom that finds ways overcome the conditioning, and even using it in their sub, is a big part of what D/s relationship is about.

GyulankDprobaljakihu • Sep 15, 2021

The problem is that you think domination is about forcing heterosexuals to be gay. Be a normal ruler! Logically expect what is acceptable! If they say you can do anything, it doesn’t mean you can do anything. It means within certain limits.

RedBeardedBecky​(sub male) • Oct 4, 2021

I definitely think that the stigma around anal play exists around young straight men but not all. Being a young sub myself I have definitely seen that among some of my peers. What is surprising to me is that these people are part of the BDSM community. If you are truly a sub masculinity shouldn't really be an issue. The other thing to note is that young subs are just that, YOUNG. They have not had the time to experiment and the whole world of BDSM might still be scary to them (I definitely still feel some of that as a young sub). That being said, everyone's kinks are different and there will definitely be young subs who just aren't into it or are not experimental. For myself anal sounds like a dream but I haven't gotten to try it yet.

SweetG​(sub female) • Oct 5, 2021

We are all born, grow and are all young at one point. Yes, some seem to forget that. To me it's about play, it's not about masculinity or femininity, it's about sex it's sometimes about submission. tt'a just good... if that's your choice. In my fantasy it's about taking you making my little b##ch!

frishka​(neither male) • Oct 8, 2021

#SweetG
the reassurance here is a key, having a trust to be penetrated is a huge step mentally, but at the same time for a sub to fulfill a fantasy what makes submissive kind. To play and having you to TAKE what you want enjoying with it will make sub more submissive and obeying.