A question of protocol

A question of protocol

MsTaraDactyl • Jan 30, 2019

Maybe a dumb question, but I'll ask anyway...

I met a couple. They're swingers and poly. He is a Dom and her a switch. I'm a swinger and poly. We're really hitting it off. I got home today from spending 2 days at their house. They're awesome, down to earth people with a kinky side.

I know in the hierarchy, I'm the lowest. They really bring out my subbiness, and not my brat, which is a feat in itself. Things are progressing very fast and in a good way.

Anyway, I know during kink, they should be Sir and Ma'am. My question is should I address them by their names in regular conversation? When is appropriate to call them Sir and Ma'am like in general?

(No this isn't my first BDSM relationship, but it's just different and I'm not sure how to handle myself.)

FlipSide1481​(dom male) • Jan 30, 2019

My advice is to be forthright and ask how they prefer to be addresed.

In my opinion there is nothing wrong with asking and it only reflects well on you. You are demonstrating your concern by asking.

I hope this is helpful.

HuntertheYeenQueen​(dom femme){Allie Kat} • Jan 30, 2019

I definitely second just... asking them.

No one but they will know how they want to be referred to.

Trying to use a title without knowing might seem nice but it could be the opposite depending on the person Haha.

Bunnie • Jan 30, 2019

@ MsTaraDactyl,

The way I see it is, the only dumb question, is one unasked.

As for the situation, I agree with the others... ask them. You could say something like, “I’m a little unsure as to how you would like me to address you under every day circumstances... do you have a preference?”

Also, I’m really happy for you

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jan 31, 2019

Ask them.