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Difference of age

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subsam4u​(sub male)
6 months ago • Wed 30 Jan 2019 03:23:12 PM IST

Difference of Age

subsam4u​(sub male) • Wed 30 Jan 2019 03:23:12 PM IST
Hi .. just turned 74 today (Jan 30). Too old at this point to be of interest to anyone anymore, but that's not for me to say. Been in the lifestyle maybe 40 years or so. Some of my relationships were long distance, mostly on-line only, but two were in-person and live-in situations One lasted 17 years (married), and one about 5 years (not married). Initially, I was only interested in being a sub to Domme, but in my later years I came to enjoy switching. I am never really Dom, but can act as a service top; that is, one who enjoys topping another who enjoys being a sub/bottom.

As for the age difference question, my first Domme/Mistress was a 20 year old college Lady and I was near 50, a 30 year difference. It was on-line only which is why I think the age difference didn't matter much. I wasn't specifically looking for someone that much younger than me. It just worked out that way. The relationship lasted about two years. After that I was in another long distance relationship with a Mistress who was about 10 years my junior. We did get to meet, but only once when I went to stay with her for a month. That was an almost perfect relationship which lasted about 5 years. During that time I met a local Domme and we got married. She was 3 years younger than me. That relationship lasted about 15 years, after which we divorced amicably and by mutual agreement. Finally, I met another local Domme my age and we were together in D/s for about 5 years, 3 of which were living together.

I don't mean to give my D/s life story other to make note that age differences probably aren't that big of a deal and mostly depend on your preferences. If the relationship is good and works, that is what is more important. Don't miss out or deprive yourself of a potentially good relationship just because of age.
Spirited{Not intere}
6 months ago • Wed 30 Jan 2019 09:51:22 PM IST
Spirited{Not intere} • Wed 30 Jan 2019 09:51:22 PM IST
Thank you everyone for sharing. It gives me other perspectives to think of.
I definitely agree that I don't want to miss out a relationship because of age. However, I must take into consideration what I want and need, and if my partner is older, make sure that these can be met (I am thinking mostly of having kids)
6 months ago • Wed 30 Jan 2019 10:01:09 PM IST
Misanthrope • Wed 30 Jan 2019 10:01:09 PM IST
Well, Spirit, come on over and we can talk about it. ?
6 months ago • Wed 30 Jan 2019 10:08:01 PM IST
Slinkymalinky41 • Wed 30 Jan 2019 10:08:01 PM IST
I think I may be an anomaly. All of my D/s relationships have been with someone younger and it seems that's odd for a female sub. The smallest age gap has been 3 years, the largest 15 years. My ex husband was 6 years younger than me. I don't really think age should be a huge barrier and I don't always feel that it is an indicator of experience. Just because someone has been doing something for a long time, it doesn't mean that they are doing it completely right. I've learned from each of my Dom's. I think there is something to learn from everyone, no matter how old.

Having said that, I'm more conscious of my age now as I'm getting older and I do wonder if my preferences may become a barrier to finding a relationship as I age. However, I also feel that (health permitting) age is in some ways a state of mind. I'm youthful in my outlook and my approach to life and relationships, so maybe this is what attracts younger partners to me.
6 months ago • Fri 01 Feb 2019 01:24:20 PM IST


nolimitextremslave • Fri 01 Feb 2019 01:24:20 PM IST
Im bisex slave ,46 y old, I like extremely perverse, sadistic, no limit master, mistress 18 - 30 years old. Young extreme reversals, perverse, sadistic people have me, a taboo object and limits.
Dark Fox​(dom female){Wolfy13}
6 months ago • Fri 01 Feb 2019 01:41:24 PM IST
Dark Fox​(dom female){Wolfy13} • Fri 01 Feb 2019 01:41:24 PM IST
Nolimit if you want to advertise, post in the personal's. The forums arent the place for that, ESPECIALLY not someone else's post actually trying to get advice or ask questions.
Loulou​(sub female){( owned)}
6 months ago • Sun 03 Feb 2019 11:29:56 AM IST
Loulou​(sub female){( owned)} • Sun 03 Feb 2019 11:29:56 AM IST
For me I have had experience of both mature Dom’s and younger Dom’s . I can say in terms of experience both had the same level of maturity and experience . Someone can be wise at any age as it is the journey of life that shapes us . I am wise in some things but actually in relationships I am very immature and childish.
So just go with your gut instinct is my advice .
I would say communication is the key for me . I need to talk through feelings , concerns , joy , etc . So if someone is a good communicator then that is the deciding factor.
6 months ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 12:54:38 PM IST

Re: Difference of age

Carpenter • Wed 06 Feb 2019 12:54:38 PM IST
Spirited wrote:
Hello to all,

I have noticed I tend to be attracted to men at least slightly older than me. However a few times I encountered men that did not want to pursue further once they saw that we had a substantial difference of age (for example 15-20 years). Knowing we were not searching for just a play but for a long-term relationship, their reasoning was sound to me. For example, I was told that he did not see how in 10 years he would be able to completely satisfy my needs and that it was not fair for me to get involved in such relationship. I understand the reasoning but when you connect with someone to very deep levels, sometimes not even searching for that love, I find it very hard to stop because of age.

I would like to have the point of view of people that are in relationships with such difference of age and how you deal with these fears? For the one that is older, do you feel you are taking advantage and that you should let them go with someone younger ?

I don’t think Age is a issue as long love is involved, because however you play your game in BDSM, it is based on love.
It is not wise to start anything with insecurity in any of the involved persons personality, it is a game over at start. I clearly can comfort insecurities before to start anything, that need so much deep trust. Submission devotion dominance are no tools, these are desires that are based on emotional trust and clear mind.
6 months ago • Wed 06 Feb 2019 04:34:36 PM IST
SevenSeven • Wed 06 Feb 2019 04:34:36 PM IST
I think it depends on what the people in the relationship want to gain from it. I don’t think age is a major factor in a short term, casual relationship. When you’re looking for a long term commitment and you want to spend your life with this person, you have to accept everything that comes with that person. If the person is older, you may have to accept health challenges or other limitations. If the person is younger, you may accept time limitations if they’re pursuing a career. If there’s a significant age difference, you may have to deal with a generational gap. I had a friend who dated a Dom who was retired and she worked 10 hours a day. That didn’t last long but if he dated someone a little closer to his age who was also retired and she dated someone a little closer to her ago who was pursing a career then those relationships would probably have a better chance of lasting.
LittleLolitaMae​(sub female){Collared}
6 months ago • Thu 14 Feb 2019 12:37:09 AM IST
LittleLolitaMae​(sub female){Collared} • Thu 14 Feb 2019 12:37:09 AM IST
My Daddy and I are 12 years apart, which is the largest age gap I've ever been involved with. My problem is I find it hard to be sexually attracted to guys my age. I like them with a little wear and tear, a little grey in the beard, ya know? Basically I need a minimum of 10 years between me and my partner.