Being a feminist and a submissive female

LisaLix​(switch female) • Feb 5, 2019

Oh Sayne. No I am not in a relationship of that nature. I'm in a relationship with a Man. He provides for, respects, supports,and pleases me. He is so much man in fact that I could share him with my friend. No "man" , dom etc could do to me what he does.


Especially someone as lacking in depth as yourself.

I did not start this post to rile anyone up.....certainly not to thumb my nose at female rights. I have been assaulted for real for being a women. I know true violence..... so the level distress you are looking to put someone in ...really rubs me the wrong way

Fudbar​(dom male){❤️❤️❤️} • Feb 5, 2019

"I just assumed you were riling up the men here, amd in turn, decided to teasingly poke the feminist contributors with my giant, feminist slaying, heroic, throbbing, vein covered mind.."

It was all a prank, bro?

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 5, 2019

I'm not your bro

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 6, 2019

Fubdar, I'd appreciate if you refrain from directing your comments towards me. I have no interest in you trying to goad me in to saying something you can use to report me again to the admin police.

Sayne​(dom male) • Feb 6, 2019

Lisalox, I want to be clear that the opinions of expressed in the spread are those specific to like Kink side, which I keep separate, very far from, my real world self. After all, it's my understanding that kink is V SeaWorld we can use to get away from the Troubles of the real world. I'd like to take a moment to separate the two, and just be real with you, after reading what you just wrote. First of all, I'm very sorry that something like that happened to you. There's no place for violence against women, for any reason, ever. Any man, who puts his hands on a woman violently or aggressively with the intent to harm her is the lowest form of a piece of shit, stuck eternally on the bottom of the dirtiest oldest pair crap shoes. I have two sisters, both of which, I've had to on more than one occasion find the piece of crap they were dating and beat the whole living hell out of him. There aren't many crimes in this world that I see worse than a man abusing a woman. It's one thing, for the sake of passion, love, or even no strings attached sex to be aggressive, mentally and emotionally push understood boundaries, with the understanding that at any time either party can put a stop so what's going on. Look what I do, as far as degradation, humiliation, or anything of the like is done with both parties agreeing this is something that is a mutual turn on. I strictly follow safe sane and consensual, discuss and go over hard limits soft limits, wants and needs prior to any scene, session, or even just a one-off phone call that may turn sexual nature. A strictly abide by yellow and red safe words, even if it's just me and another young lady going out to a party, beforehand I always make sure that she knows she can use one of these words or phrases and I will act immediately based on what she says. I asked if it was okay for me to include a link to one of my personal videos in this message board.

Normally, I like to keep real world and kink world separate from each other, but I don't for a second want you to think I would condone any type of violence against women. A friend of mine made this for me because I made a name for myself where I live for showing up at the front door of men who have either refuse to stop harassing are physically abused one of my friends, the wife or girlfriend of a friend, or mine or friend's sister. This is only a couple of instances out of dozens, typically I will record the event so the victim can at least have a tiny Shred of the power back that was taken from her. Perhaps, my kink self is not someone you want to have anything to do with, lacks depth, that's clear. But, it's important to me that you know, the real person underneath this character that I have developed, is someone that I feel you would greatly respect and appreciate. Again, I can't express how sorry I am that something like that happened to you, and had I known that I would have conducted myself differently on your thread

JohnBond​(dom male){Kitten} • Feb 6, 2019

I think this quote gets to the exact question being discussed. In this section of your reply Sayne you say that you see a post "who claims she is not actually a submissive, per se but a feminist, by definition the polar opposite of a submissive." The question, I believe, was addressing that idea, whether or not it was a popular belief that the two ideas could coincide in the same person. Your answer here to me says to me that you believe that they can't. I'm not here to tell anyone they're wrong, I definitely don't have it all myself. However, I am curious which definitions you're using for feminist and submissive that conflict so much so that they can be considered "Polar Opposites". It seems to me that a woman could, and should, be able to decide if she wants to be submissive with a male on an individual basis. For the sake of argument, a submissive woman should be able to decide to take instruction from or submit to you, and have the right to tell me to take a hike. You and I have that same right in that we can choose to engage in consensual sexually dominant activities with a woman, or we can choose not to. A woman wanting to retain her freedom of choice seems to me as feminist as anyone else.

Per Meriam-webster (thanks internet)-
Feminism is 'the belief that women and men should have equal rights and opportunities.'

Submissive (nailed it a second time internet) can be defined as someone who is -'ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.'

Those don't seem mutually exclusive to me unless the submissive (or dominant?) in question doesn't believe that at a basic human level that women and men are equal. If that's the case then the person would most definitely not be a feminist or support feminism but could still be a dominant or submissive.

Sorry if I got a little off the rails here, I hope I didn't make you feel like I was pointing elbows or anything I just thought that section of your post merited a response!

-JB

WillowJ • Feb 6, 2019

For me, my submission is always earned and is my choice. I am more than capable to doing what I need to do on my own, without following someone's arbitrary rules. If I don't agree with it, I won't do it, period end of discussion. There has to be a reason for it for me. I have been told by some then "You're not a sub" and I have countered with "I am not the sub for you!" If there is anything that I've learned its that there isn't just one definition of sub or a dom. You have to figure out what it is for you. To be honest, I struggle with this and have blogged about it as well.

The following excerpt is from my blog back in October, which I feel is very fitting.

How can an enraged, pink pussy hat wearing, female take off the boxing gloves and be even remotely submissive? The big difference is that it's my choice. At any given time I can choose not to, I can stop it! I can say "Red", "Unicorn", "Purple Donkey Dicks"...whatever the word is and it ends. Every time I waiver and think "How can I be okay with...?", I remind myself its a choice; a very powerful choice.

JohnBond​(dom male){Kitten} • Feb 6, 2019

I'm not really sure about half of the first paragraph so I'm just gonna move on to the rest of it!

I don't think we can presume to know what a feminist or a submissive wants to do with their choices. Feminism is an advocacy for rights, that would include a woman's right to choose. A feminist woman could choose to submit to a man, and a woman who isn't a feminist could also choose to submit to a man.

I would venture to say that usually a submissive woman would like to choose the partner to which she submits to. Of course it's dangerous to speak in generalities, but I kind of feel like that's the basis of this whole thread. The key is that the submissive doesn't want to conform to the will ALL other(s), they want to conform to the will of THEIR other(s). They want to choose who their partners are the same way we do, which would be to say that they want equal rights and that they could be considered feminist if that's what they wanted. There is a difference between having the rights and exercising them. It is one of those situations of 'Better to have it and not need it, then need it and not have it.' Type of deals. A woman that chooses not to say no VS. a woman that doesn't have the right to say no.

So I the confusing part would be how we know that a feminist and submissive are going to make choices that make the two categories mutually exclusive.

Would that be to say that by your argument if a woman chooses to say no to a man she is not submissive? (Not trying to bend any arms with this question just trying to see your argument.)

If we delve further into the relationship, assuming that the woman has exercised her right to choose her partner and has chosen to submit to him. Then she may choose not to exercise rights. She may choose to let you direct them to write on themselves, or they may choose not to. She has the right to choose every day, and if she doesn't exercise it, it would be because she wants to remain within the guidelines of the relationship that she has willingly agreed to, so as to continue that relationship. If marker is a deal breaker for you, and she knows that, and chooses not to write on herself that day, then she knows that the terms of the relationship are no longer met and that relationship will consensually end. Being a feminist to me just says that they want to have right to make the choice.

I went a little further into that second point because I wasn't sure if maybe you were trying to say that you didn't think a feminist would choose to be sexually submissive or degraded? Men and women alike choose to do that regularly it seems to me.

-JB

ropefish • Feb 6, 2019

Sayne,

I disagree with your statement that feminists and submissives want different things. I also think that your description of what submissives want is inaccurate.

I don't want someone to have "all rights". Hard limits are rights that a submissive will not hand over to a dominant. It's part of what separates what we do from actual slavery.

Feminists (true feminists anyway) want people to be able to choose whether or not to submit. Feminists want people to stop assuming that women are naturally submissive, and to stop treating them as such unless they truly are a submissive.

Submissives (regardless of gender) want to choose to submit.

I don't want all women to have to submit. I just want people to be able to submit if they want to. I want them to have that choice. That's what makes me a feminist.

Modi​(other female) • Feb 6, 2019

I think this is why I am just now beginning to explore my submissive side.