What makes a good Dom

SimplyJane​(dom female) • Feb 16, 2019

One thing that makes a good Domme is being observant . When you closely observe
what your sub is doing you can
see his strong and weak points. Being
a Domme is a big responsibility and
therefore it's good to take things slowly
and not jump into things that are more
advanced if you are just starting out.

Ciel Rose​(sub female) • Feb 17, 2019

I think a good Dom is someone who is always open to learning and embracing diversity just as much as he is looking to teach. A good Dom is aware that everyone is different. No two subs are the same therefore you shouldn't act like all subs have the same needs and desires and all subs have the same mindset and personality. A good Dom remembers that comfortability, trust, communication, and effort is what helps the Dom/sub relationship be successful. It isn't a dictatorship and to have someone want to be your sub is a gift because they are telling you you are worthy of seeing their vulnerabilities, having their trust and dependency, and all that comes with them as an individual. We as people just don't give ourselves to anyone and everyone. So a good Dom appreciates a sub for this and makes it a priority to ensure that he/she does their best to be what their sub needs. Most importantly a good Dom makes sure that they are truely the right Dom for a particular sub and if they are not they guide them in making sure they know what type of Dom is right for them.

A good Dom

TruckinDaddy​(dom male) • Feb 18, 2019

I have read through a lot of the posts. I am learning and looking to improve myself as a dom.

Whats most important for me as a dom is communication.

Everything from recognizing the needs of your sub through her(or his) reactions to whats going on.
To aftercare and talking about what is expected from each other in the relationship.

Patients and understanding also need to play a huge role while communicating because mistakes can be made by both sides. And I feel like it is important for the relationship that these things are handled with care and taken seriously.

Being a daddy dom I want my little to feel safe and comfortable coming to me to talk about anything.

Nested question

Bella duPuy​(sub female){Not lookin} • Feb 18, 2019

@TNJoker

As a newbie/one who hasn't found her (first) Sir ...

my initial contribution to Your query is to ask which is a question nested in Your Own, "What makes a Good Man?"

i offer that question because it is one that is part of my own vetting process in this dynamic, as it was in VanillaLand.

my further response is to offer, ... the irreplaceable qualities inherent present in a good Man are:
• High degree of Integrity
• Goodly/Godly Character
• Sense of Justice (the Life is not Fair, thus requiring one to be Just)
• Communicative
• Logical
• Intellectual curiosity
• Calm
• Reserve
• Secure
• Knowledgeable
• Even-tempered (not prone to emotionalism)
• Strong Protective Nature ??
• Humility/Humble (able to admit when He doesn't know something or have all the answers, and fine with seeking those answers on His Own, if need be)

List may grow ? but these are the first things I look for in any Man who will be of significant import in my world.

Great query.

Peace

Tnjoker​(dom male){My Harley} • Feb 18, 2019

Thank you for your pleasant reply. I have to say that I agree with your post 100%. I ready appreciate your input.

Chris

Dragon11​(dom male){Litlgrl} • Feb 19, 2019

Beside what has been said, I think what makes a good Dominant is knowing yourself. Knowing Yourself and who you truly are should be an overall guide to anything you endeavor in life. Once you know yourself, then you can go on and learn another intimately... Like a mate or a sub. Often these simple steps are either confused or not followed and the results can and often are disastrous.

Darkmistress1213​(dom female) • Feb 19, 2019

I think once the dom has power and control, they are responsible for how they handle the power and control sub. I like to believe that both parties are trying to better each other in this type of relationship.
I also do not think the sub has to make the dom happy. Happiness is our own choice. Sub can do thinks to make the dom's life easier, but on the dom can choose if they are happy.
I also think there has to be a true connection and genuine trust between both parties before any dominance can begin.

hiraethslave​(sub female){unavailabl} • Feb 19, 2019

This deserved excerpting. Well said, so a degree of other mindedness and I would call this honor. Has maturity been brought up? Loyalty? Chris.... loyalty.

https://dragonshouse.weebly.com/uploads/1/0/1/5/10155919/3973909_orig.jpg

Low{BLK OWND} • Feb 24, 2019

BDE
When they know they have it the confidence is a hugh turn on