Advice for training Submissive/Slave

Kara​(sub female){Dark Roast} • Feb 9, 2019

Honestly, everyone is going to have their own answer. Some are going to tell you what they would do or want someone to do, while others are going to tell you to figure out what to do based on your unique situation.

Honestly, you bring up something that a lot of people don’t realize about D/s dynamic: they’re like snowflakes. Not the special kind like the bratty kids you babysit and who tell you to make them nuggets and fries because they don’t have to eat real food, but those things that are found in nature. Every D/s relationship will have very basic things in common, but will be different close up because it’s a relationship defined by the way two people relate to each other.

People are going to give you ideas. Pick and choose from them or do something entirely different based on an idea you had because an idea was so contrary to something that would work for you.

Me personally ? I would be in lingerie and full makeup and just hand him the present. I try to take his preferences in mind and then step back to let him dictate what happens next. That’s us; may not be you.

Bunnie • Feb 10, 2019

Hi @ Skye381,

As has been said, it does depend greatly on your dynamic (relationship)... and also who you are as a person.

I often get caught between wanting to preempt to try to serve as best as possible... and worrying that that’s assuming. It’s such a very fine line, and to be honest, I believe that unless you’ve been together for a long time and have been trained exactly to his liking... anything you do without asking, is assumption.

For me personally, I would ask him how he would like you to present him with gifts. Kneeling/presenting/offering are all beautiful ways... however, it may not be his preferred way.

It’s not about being the best sub... it’s about being HIS sub. This may require asking a lot of questions in the beginning, however I tend to look at it more in the long term.

Hope this helps, and I hope you both have a wonderful time for his birthday

Skye381 • Feb 10, 2019

Thank you all so much