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A question for the Doms

LordofPain56
5 years ago • Mar 1, 2019
LordofPain56 • Mar 1, 2019
SubSlaveRose wrote:
To all of you practising Doms, I genuinelly hope you never put your subs through this.

Ha! I have always told (the few) subs I've had from the beginning....all ya gotta do to stay around here is be able to 1) take the sting of my whips, 2) follow the rules, and 3) accept the provisions I am sharing with you (without wanting more or better provisions). If ya can do that, I am yours for life, baby!
None had a problem with the first two. I guess greener pastures isn't necessarily only a guy thing, then is it?
just james​(dom male)
5 years ago • Mar 1, 2019

Re: A question for the Doms

just james​(dom male) • Mar 1, 2019
Find a Dom for real life not online. Stop living in the past. Live for the future.
SubSlaveRose{Owned}
5 years ago • Feb 28, 2019
SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 28, 2019
We haven’t spoken in two days. I agree with you. It hurts, but being aware and seeing it for what it is has helped. The genuine solid heartbreak hasn’t completely hit me. The habits of waiting and hoping, then the realisation it is entirely over and theres nothing left to look or wait for anymore.
He’s gone and accepting it is all I can do apart from learn from it. I’m done with this life. I considered it last night and I can see a pattern with the Ds I’ve had and that this has happened once before, ages ago. Gone, but without wanting to actually be gone? I choose unsustainable Ds. Until I can trust myself to make better choices and see the patterns, I will avoid the choices that put me in this place. Again.
To all of you practising Doms, I genuinelly hope you never put your subs through this. Be upfront. Tell them its over. Be clear you're not coming back. Their healing and yours can start sooner if you do.
The best to all of you and blessings on your journeys. And thank you all for your kindness once again.
HeadmasterX
5 years ago • Feb 28, 2019
HeadmasterX • Feb 28, 2019
I am in full agreement with other Dom mentioning: He is gone, but doesn't have the balls or honesty to let you know.
Move on, and find someone worthy .

Good Luck
Titocrj​(dom male)
5 years ago • Feb 28, 2019
Titocrj​(dom male) • Feb 28, 2019
I agree with many! Communication was broken and there is something more happening with this individual.
SubSlaveRose{Owned}
5 years ago • Feb 27, 2019
SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 27, 2019
Thank you. For the time being I have to work on decondition myself and begin cutting threads. Its not a process I ever expected to be going through, but it is what it is and I don’t have much of a choice if I want to come out the other side of this.
Again, thank you all for your incite and kindness. Also for answering all of my questions.
Corpsdom​(dom male)
5 years ago • Feb 27, 2019
Corpsdom​(dom male) • Feb 27, 2019
I agree with all that has been said. When there is a noticeable drop in communication, every type of relationship is in jeopardy. Sometimes we don't see it until it hits us between the eyes.

From everything I've read, it does appear as if the relationship is coming to an end. Hang in there, rely on your friends, then when you are ready, move forward.

The Japanese have a saying: "If you get knocked down 7 times, get up 8 times". And you will. Good luck.
SubSlaveRose{Owned}
5 years ago • Feb 27, 2019
SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 27, 2019
Pehaps that has been the biggest confusion. The reasons didn’t make sense. As “its complicated” has been the go to response when he began pulling away, so I am left to wonder.
I’m not interested in another Dom. Giving so much of myself to another person isn't something I can physically and mentally do, nor do I want to. I can’t do the hope and promises and trust. Its all quite raw, so its best left. I will take time on my own and grow differently.
Thank you all once again for your carefully considered advice and words. Its brought forward what I already knew but didn't want to face. While it hurts, better a painful truth than a kind lie.
connecttomind
5 years ago • Feb 27, 2019
connecttomind • Feb 27, 2019
I think this statement he made to you "even stating I deserved someone better." was the strongest clue he was heading a different direction away from you. Like all others have mentioned communications, he did communicate what he was going to do. You were distracted somehow and did not listen which is a critical part about communications. Don't get me wrong, we all fail at listening from time to time as it is a skill that needs to be constantly nurtured and refined. From my perspective a Dom does not tell his sub such a thing unless they are trying to leave the relationship and don't have the courage to address the issues that cause him to think that way.

You appear to have come to a very good conclusion. It is often said that no one can meet everyone's needs a 100% of the time and I believe that. I live the D/s 24/7 and there are things (not many) that I can't do with my sub that I did with my slave. However, my sub meets my needs 98% of the time and takes very good care of me.

In your statement "I know what I offer" indicates to me that you are strong enough to move on to your next life experience and find a Dom that can take what you offer and know you are the best thing for him. Stay strong and embrace your next steps in the D/s life and you will do very well.
SubSlaveRose{Owned}
5 years ago • Feb 27, 2019
SubSlaveRose{Owned} • Feb 27, 2019
Thank you. I dont believe I did anything wrong. He often praised how perfect I was, even stating I deserved someone better. To me though, that felt as if he was trying to convince me I should go of my own accord. I’ve stayed at a distance. Supporting his move away and time to himself, without clinging or badgering. I felt the best way to serve him, was to let him go and do what he needs to. If he decides we’re worth pursuing, then he’ll have to come to the desicion on his own. I don’t think any Dom would appreciate being badgered into a relationship. That goes against my views on the consent aspect of D/s. I know what I offer, which is often what’s left me confused.
Thank you all for your kind responses.