Solo BDSM

Solo BDSM

LazyMonkey​(other male) • Jan 19, 2017

I'm into solo BDSM and wondering how common/uncommon it is. I guess I don't want to feel alone. I remember when being gay came with such a stigma. I think I'm pretty kinky and wondering if it's something I should be ashamed of or maybe I need help. Tired of hiding.

Villanelle​(staff) • Jan 19, 2017

As a dominant it's not something I practice and to be honest, I'm not sure exactly what it would involve. Are we talking self bondage or something else?  Perhaps you can educate us a bit.  As far as whether or not you need help, I think that would depend if you are hurting or harming yourself.  Hurt is a temporary experience. Harm has long lasting, serious consequences.  So again, perhaps you can share some of your experiences and get some feedback here that you can use to gauge your behaviour and its impact.

LazyMonkey​(other male) • Jan 19, 2017

I like to tie myself up, usually involving spread eagle so I can use a dildo or vibrator in my ass. I also use small line (1/4" rope) to tie and stretch my balls. I don't go to the point of serious pain. I'm careful about how tight and for how long I tie my balls. I've also used a small plank with a hole that I can barely get my cock and balls through then strap down my hard cock and stretch my balls. The isolation of my balls and cock feels very erotic. I'm not into damaging myself, no pins or cuts, etc. I don't even have a tattoo for that matter. And nothing around the neck. I keep it safe but like the challenge of using ropes and then taking pics with my webcam (not online).

Villanelle​(staff) • Jan 20, 2017

As long as you are aware of the potential dangers and allow yourself an 'escape' then there is some potential for fun.  A lot of people play around/masturbate in various ways. The challenge is not to end up with a Darwin award, a trip to the hospital, or calling your mom to come untie you

In all seriousness though, many of us have the challenge of getting over the mental hurdle of being 'weird' because of our kinks or fetishes.  Fantasy exploration is fun and healthy, whether you are experiencing it alone or with a partner (s). As long as we are safe, considerate, and dealing with consenting, mentally fit adults, then it's all good.  I once had the pleasure of interviewing the sex educator and shibari artist, Midori. She said something I've never forgotten:  "I'm in the business of shame reduction".  I figure that's a good business to be in and I hope we can do a bit of that too here at THE CAGE.

LazyMonkey​(other male) • Jan 20, 2017

Part of the reason I came to The Cage is for what Evangeline said above. I'm looking to get rid of the shame I was taught to put in myself. Another reason is to meet others with the same or similar kinks. There's less propensity to feel shame when you know that you're not alone. 

solo play / submissive

toy4uruse68​(sub male) • Jan 22, 2017

Slave is very new here (yesterday).  Slave has been doing a wide range of solo activities related to bdsm for a very long time.  though he is married to very vanilla wife and has a sexless marriage,  he still lives his daily life with her being the boss.  she does know ho wed deep his desires go to serve her.  that being said, slave carries out the following solo activities :
-cbt (ball stretching, knots, etc)
-only wear lace panties
-period worship (must be in chastity)
-always plugged
-worships dirty panties

Slave has served many Mistresses online, but have lasted.  nearly all have left because they demanded money.

CerebusLeashed​(sadist trans man){Uncollared} • Apr 16, 2017

I think many of us started solo, whether we had incredibly kinky ways of masturbating or hid a part of ourselves from vanilla partners. Not everyone was brought into the scene by "that one kinky partner I had." You're definitely not alone.

I iz woof​(switch male){Yes please} • Apr 17, 2017

Oh self bondage is the best!^_^ I've been into it since before it was even sexual for me, I don't consider it anything to be ashamed of, it's definitely an amazing feeling when you can elegantly immobilize yourself.:p