Eclipse

MasterBear​(other butch) • Apr 21, 2019

@Emma

If you mean outgrowing the relationship that is a healthy thing.

Sometimes the needs of the s type aren't in the skill set that the D type has.

I know of a D type that specializes in play that other D types won't do. So the D type sends their s type "out" to the other D type for that play.


The other thing to consider is that identity is fluid. Never static. You may be moving into a switch identity. Or your play and service needs may change over time.

If your shows are two tight. Time for new shoes before you permanently injure your feet.

Emma the graceful​(sub female) • Apr 21, 2019

I am aware of the fluidity of things but I am wondering if there is not a growing together? Rest assured I will never domme I tried it 3 times with 3 different people. Not my thing.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Apr 21, 2019

@Emma


Yes there is growing together. But there is also growing as an individual. Which is not necessarily growing apart.


One of the things that I feel is critical to the success of any relationship is for individual growth outside of the relationship.


It does not mean you're growing apart.


It does mean you have the chance to stretch and grow as an independent person and then bring back those skills, joys, and self assurance back to the relationship.


Independent growth is critical for the success of a relationship and allows for growth together.


I have horses and my love has her belly dance.
I love to write and my love gets her Joy from creating stuff for store.


Individual interests allow us to grow as individuals but it also gives us a unique chance to grow together.


When I talk to my love about what I'm writing her insights and impact help make it stronger. When we go to vend for her store I get to sit at the opening of the 10th and brag about her.


It is all about support.

But more than that ---- it is about allowing somebody the freedom to grow without fear that their growth means they will leave you.