Permission

Vhale​(sub female){Yes} • May 11, 2019

I just need to say real quick that I disagree with anyone who thinks this shows a lack of trust. In fact I think it shows immense amounts of trusts. It's cool if that's not what you're into and personally I don't think I trust anyone to make that kind of a decision for me. But you can't say there's no trust in the relationship. To trust someone so much that you allow them to decide who you can speak to is really amazing and saying its anything less is kinda rude to their relationship.

Re: Permission

DemonstricusRed​(sub male) • May 11, 2019

I agree with you completely. As a sub, I don't feel it necessary to ask permission to actually breathe air. That kind of micro Domination/submission is just too exhausting for me to enjoy.
Thanks for voicing this issue!

Low{BLK OWND} • May 11, 2019

Simply put for us it's not that it was needed because of a trust issue but because it was asked for from my Dom and I wanted to give it to him.
Again I realize all relationships are different and no one should judge anyone else for the particulars in their relationship.

MasterBrads painpet​(sub female){OWNED} • May 11, 2019

Something we might also consider is this. If a sub is always getting picked up by all the faces and wanna bes. She/he will seek out a Dom friend for protection. In doing so any potential Dom would be asked to go through the subs protector.

We have to remember subs may have been hurt bad. Yet they want to stay in the lifestyle. They need help to get over what their path is.

Do we really have to know why it's put on a profile? Shouldn't we just honor the subs wishes. If you can't honor those wishes what is it saying about your Dominance.

Satindragon • May 12, 2019

Permission to speak to a sub in a committed relationship is done out of respect. Protection permission is just that the sub feels safer if a trusted Dom vets others for her.

Sir and I have an agreement. I can speak to anyone as long as they are respectful. However if you wish to talk on any other median other than Cage you would need to ask permission.

We are open and honest about who we get messages from. Yes I know how to use the block button and if you are ugly. Not only will I block you but I will forward your message to Sir.

MsNevermore​(other female) • May 12, 2019

For someone who claims years in the community I find it odd you say this is new to you...that said. Part of what I think you are missing is that you view it from the simple understanding of one human talking to another. How familiar are you on the different D/s dynamics?

Using your own example of dogs. If you saw a dog you liked, you would ASK if the dog was owned. You would ASK the owner if you could pet, play or possible become it's new owner. The owner then knows who is in contact with the dog and can relay any needed information. Ie: pat it on the head but if you rub its belly its gonna RIP your face off!

Point is that dog is someone's PROPERTY and you ask first before using anothers property. Many dynamics in this lifestyle are the same. You see a cute girl. A Master sees his property.

Another take is that of responsibility. Would you approach a child in a store without making sure a parent was aware you wanted to talk to their child? Yeah, same thing here. Being the creepy guy who wants to talk behind bushes sorta thing...

Also, due to the online nature of all of this it ensures that everyone is in the know. If you're not looking to poach or resemble one why the huff about simply reaching out to their significant (again in this it is a SIGNIFICANT other) and dropping a line that says you find their attached half interesting and would like to converse?

To echo what @Azzabackam said:
If you think this is weird you entered the wrong door. Exit is stage left.

I bet your one who has a problem with requests to read entire profiles too... smdh.

Bunnie • May 12, 2019

@ MsNevermore,

“Using your own example of dogs. If you saw a dog you liked, you would ASK if the dog was owned. You would ASK the owner if you could pet, play or possible become it's new owner. The owner then knows who is in contact with the dog and can relay any needed information. Ie: pat it on the head but if you rub its belly its gonna RIP your face off!”

Great analogy. Love it and completely agree.

Great Explanation

DemonstricusRed​(sub male) • May 12, 2019

I like what you wrote in response to the permission topic. There is a big difference between a slave and a submissive! Thank you for bringing clarification to this convoluted matter.

Unique Situations call for unique rules

DemonstricusRed​(sub male) • May 12, 2019

I'm a sexually submissive male, but I also have pride, and self-confidence, and I don't think so low of myself to submit to someone that would think I should ask permission to talk to somebody else. That's ridiculous in my opinion. We are all adults, and should be able to enjoy this lifestyle without needing to debase others to the point of asking permission to sneeze, for God's sake!!!

And perhaps I'm viewing this wrong, but that's just the way this submissive Texan sees things. Don't mean to offend anyone. Pardon me if I somehow did.

MsNevermore​(other female) • May 13, 2019

"We are all adults, and should be able to enjoy this lifestyle without needing to debase others to the point of asking permission to..."

Yes, you're correct and if two grown adults want to enter into a relationship which requires that one give permission or be notified of outside influence and the other happily agrees why should they be debased for it? BTW many actually like being debased, humiliated and treated like property. Again, both you and the OP do know what type of site you are on correct?

You dont like it...dont do it. Run across one that has it? Pass them by...they obviously have a different dynamic than what you seek.
They have set up rules and guidelines if you wanna play in their park (relationship). Dont wanna play by the posted signs? You dont get to park in their inbox. Well you can but good luck getting a response because likely the only thing that was asked by sub/slave to their Other was if they had heard of your name...nope? Delete.
It use to be do simple. Your Kink Not My Kink and that's okay.