Trivial pursuit, S & M version.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jun 17, 2019

"The word SLAVE means someone who has WILLINGLY surrendered their right to say NO. "


With all due respect, this is wrong.


We have been M/s 24/7 for 17+ years. I never once demanded she give up her ability to say no.

Whether or not a slave can say no is in the negotiating. Up to each couple and very individual.

It is not across the board.

It is not a make or break guideline.

It is not a requirement to be in an M/s relationship.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jun 18, 2019

@Mb With all due respect i beg to differ or at least say that while in you relationship your love may have the right to say no.

All that has been said here is basically that there is a sub group ( for lack of better wording) that practice and living in a RL M/s relationship where the slave one has given up the right to say no to anything and all things.

But also with in this "sub group " as it has been also already said the Master takes it as a personal honor to know his/ her slave well enough for the slave not to have to worry about ecery being in the place where they would have to say no.

Justme26 • Jun 18, 2019

@dollmaker and other people.

I agree that anyone can, ultimately, say no, but is it not the case that what some people want is abuse, and nothing less does it for them. Then they can not necessarily experience that fully if they know that they can all ways say no?

This is confusing to me.

alawey​(sub female){(OWNED BY } • Jun 18, 2019

@just

"what some people want is abuse, and nothing less work for them."

Is TOTALLY different then what myself and some others are talking about. What we are talking about is a Master /slave self in its truest basic form i believe.

There isnt abuse in what we are talking about because there is the purest trust and the ultimate. Knowledge of each other. In this type. And when talking about a GOR M/s relationship there is no saying no because of this. But there isnt abuse. And a GOR M/s relationship ISNT FOR EVERYONE.

Bunnie • Jun 18, 2019

To clarify, I’m not talking about being unable to approach one’s Master for open and honest discussion about anything and everything... worries, fears, disagreement, concerns, “no”... however, where I stand with this is that after or despite discussion... the Master’s decision is final.

I’m curious as to what scenarios people dream up when they create these horror images of what it is that needs to be said “no” to. Why would you even be with someone if you suspected it was their desire to harm you? (unless that’s what you’re into).

I must say I’m a little confused as to what seems to be this ultimate horror that a Master would want to inflict on his property beyond what the bdsm community feels is acceptable. And I’m a little tired of those who follow M/s constantly being lumped automatically with abuse. It’s much like saying Daddy’s are paedophiles.

I think a lot of this stems from the “sexualisation” of M/s by uneducated kinksters. Those who are unable to see past the kink aspects, are unable to see how someone may like to be subservient and follow the lead of another in all areas of life... handing over the process of making decisions to someone they love and trust... having established over time that that person has everyone’s best interests at heart. I’m not talking about kink when I talk about M/s... I’m talking about intimacy. I think perhaps that’s where many of us differ.

I’d also like to state yet again that an abuser will harm and abuse someone regardless of whether or not “no” is acceptable in their vocabulary.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Jun 18, 2019

@Bunnie

You nailed it.

It is NOT that the slave isnt allowed to say no, it IS that the M type has final word.


@alawey

With all due respect that is not true. My beloved and i have been together IRT for 17 years. It is the concept that a slave has forfeited the right to say no that destroys many a good slave. Its not real. Its not true. And the myth needs to be extinguished.

Soulweaver​(dom male) • Jun 19, 2019

Alright, good points on both sides. Some I agree with and some I do not. I do want to add this though:

I do not believe that there is but one definition that defines what we choose to do. In other words, many people say you can't be truly submissive because you don't do X. Or you are not a slave if have limits. Or you can't be a slave if don't allow your Master to have complete control over your personal finances.

My opinion is that the beauty of this whole thing we practice, is that unlike most things, we as individuals have the power to decide what this means to US. We can define what our role is and what we "want" or "need" to be.

If you're a Dominant that likes to submit once in a while, so be it, don't want to call yourself a switch, then so be it. Who am I to say that you aren't a true Dominant? Are you a submissive that can't kneel (actually had this happen, due to a medical issue), well that doesn't mean you aren't or can't be a "true" (for whatever the hell THAT means) submissive. Are you a slave that isn't into anal sex, well that's simply reality folks and doesn't mean that the slave is less than. It just is what it is. I think the most important thing is that we remain true to ourselves and our needs/wants/desires. That applies no matter what label we choose and we have to really assiduously avoid a "rush to judgement," as it is harmful and destructive to others. There is room enough here for everyone. The MOST important thing is that no matter we do, that both (or all) are happy and satisfied with what they've chosen to engage in and with whom.

I say welcome to all!