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Who pays for what?

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Meg​(dom female){NotLooking}
8 months ago • 01/14/2020 11:23 am
Meg​(dom female){NotLooking} • 01/14/2020 11:23 am
Because of my current financial situation, I finance what I can, but unfortunately my sub pays for most of it. I buy special things for him though, because he's my squish and I love him. No, I'm not a fracking Findom.
Bunnie
8 months ago • 01/14/2020 10:11 am
Bunnie • 01/14/2020 10:11 am
Good question icon_smile.gif

As for who decides on how the money is handled (what it’s spent on etc.), that would be the decision of the HOH.

However, where the money comes from is where it can split either way for me. I would be happy to be “kept” ... or just as happy to work to provide a comfortable life for him. Both are considered submissive in my eyes (if it’s his desire), and the second, for me personally, also feeds into my service aspects.
Rich527​(sub male){Not collar}
8 months ago • 01/14/2020 3:56 am
Rich527​(sub male){Not collar} • 01/14/2020 3:56 am
Well if your a sub , I think if it’s equipment it should be the sub who is responsible for some items like chastity and personal items that would be used on you , just safety reasons (personal stuff), but mostly it should be your Doms responsibility for other stuff ..
rosethorn​(sub female)
8 months ago • 01/14/2020 2:10 am
rosethorn​(sub female) • 01/14/2020 2:10 am
This is something i have to submit and find really difficult to submit. I often pay for everything and am happy to.
On my last date the guy tried to take my card so he could pay for a coffee because i wouldn't let him... yup control freak in me. If i submit and allow someone to pay for something for me, if they want to, its a sign of respect and honour.
Just to be clear i don't mean its an honour to buy something for me but more an honour because i find letting it go so difficult. Have a guilt complex with it and because i do its hard enough not feeling guilty for treating myself to things never mind the other way around.
Hopefully this hasn't come across as arrogant.
Daddy Time​(dom male)
8 months ago • 01/14/2020 1:22 am
Daddy Time​(dom male) • 01/14/2020 1:22 am
Daddy pays for everything, toys clothing, coloring books everything spent 3 grand on clothes in Dec for little plus toys etc additionally but she looks sharp when shes a big girl and adorable when shes little. Plus now she lives in my house overlooking the beach in Brasil taking good care of it and she loves to care for Daddys house. Plus I got rid of the live in maid who was costing a bundle hahaha. In my opinion little should not have to worry about anything except serving Daddy, following her rules and being happy in a stress free environment. But im old school.
yesyes​(sub female)
8 months ago • 01/14/2020 12:48 am
yesyes​(sub female) • 01/14/2020 12:48 am
Gotta say, the financial dominance of a Dom must be in place for me to feel properly submissive. Knowing I am cherished, pampered, and that he wants to gift me the things I desire with no inkling of withholding, skimping--that feeling of boundless financial abundance in the presence of my Dom is so. fucking. sexy, yep, it is part of the deal for me, submission can't happen without financial abundance. It seriously turns me on to wear things he bought for me, to use things he bought for me, and the feeling of more-where-that-came-from, fat wads of his cash in my hand to buy whatever dumb thing I want, just to make me happy--whoa, there's nothing else like it! Melts me.
MasterBear​(other butch)
1 year ago • 08/08/2019 6:06 am
MasterBear​(other butch) • 08/08/2019 6:06 am
We have combined expenses. So that isnt really a thing with us.

Also we are poor- so we talk about every dime. Bills, budget, needs. How money is spent affects us both. So we both get a say. I get final word.
No Body​(neither male)
1 year ago • 08/06/2019 11:24 am
No Body​(neither male) • 08/06/2019 11:24 am
Wow what a great question. I pay for everything that I use and keep at the house. There are toys she may want and I or she may pay for but when she leaves they go with her as they were bought for her they are hers. It does seem strange to some but it is how I do it.
NoOneofConsequence​(dom male){Taken}
1 year ago • 08/06/2019 9:14 am
Heh. This question is really rather ironic for me personally.

Before we even met, she attempted to call me "Lord and Master" one time and I quashed it pretty quick. I only allowed Sir or my name for reasons that are not really relevant anymore. Even when she did come to me, she met her Sir pressed against the inside of my door, and after two days (yes, I'm not exaggerating, it was a full forty-eight hours) of exploring just what I could still do (and I am no longer allowed to lament what I can't since I have it on good authority that what I can is more than enough), I would still only allow Sir or my name.

The third day, I finally relented (if only that we left the house, although play still didn't stop), and we went for a little drive. I showed her the small town that I grew up in (which took longer to get to than it did to show every relevant part), a little bit of the much larger town I now live in and we went to eat something other than the food she had prepared and brought to fill my fridge with (a fairly nice restaurant in fact). After dinner, we went to, of all places, Wal-Mart (mainly because it was all that open at that time) to pick up some essentials for me. Some that I knew I needed. Some that she thought I needed. And, despite her wearing her cat ears headband the entire time (not to mention the play I didn't stop just because we were out of bed! Or even while she was driving! ["Focus!"]), I still only allowed Sir or my name.

When it came time to pay, she pulled some things from the basket while my back was turned. And when I turned back around, I saw her standing in line with her arms loaded.

And promptly asked her just what the Hell she thought she was doing.

She pointed out that she was perfectly capable of buying me the things that she had picked out for my home.

I don't remember exactly what I said. Neither does she. We do know that I didn't raise my voice. But, the upshot, whatever it was I said, was I commanded her to place the items back in the basket and that I would be buying them. However, it wasn't just the words that I said. It was my tone of voice, my posture, my eyes...

She froze like a deer and then slowly walked back over to put the items back in the basket.

And then stepped in close to me and placed her hand and head on my chest as I put my arm around her and held her tight while she burrowed in closer.

***shrug***

Different strokes for different folks. But, in bed (and in the kitchen, and in the shower, and on the dining room table, and bent over the dishwasher...), my sexy little slut, my fun little fucktoy, my spicy little submissive had only met her Sir as I tested her endurance along with her limits. It wasn't until that moment (in fucking Wal-Mart of all places!) that my sweet slave, my special servant met her Lord and Master, my beautiful baby girl met her Daddy, my precious pet met her Owner, my heart met her Anchor, her Home.

However, it wasn't especially that I paid. It was that my commanding presence resonated in that way with her. (In her words, "I like sex and you are really fucking good at sex! But, that moment was the first when I saw you as Dominant.") And her response to my command resonated with me.

Any road, from what I've discovered along this decades long path is that there isn't any "One Right Way." About the only thing I've encountered that seems to be a "rule" is that the collar must be bought by the Dom(me) and remains their property both while the sub is wearing it and if the relationship ends (unlike an engagement ring where who keeps it is dependent on who breaks the engagement). Everything else is, by and large, considered a gift and should not be taken back nor returned.

For myself, if it is something that I am going to use on her, then I pay for it. If it is something that I want her to have, then I pay for it. When she is in my physical presence, I pay for everything. (With the exception of one meal that she begged me to allow her to buy.) When she has to leave Home to go back to the place she currently has to reside, it's a little trickier. She pays for most things when she is there and my words take the place of the collar of my hand and my voice takes the place of the leash of my arm, but I have a say and won't hesitate to tell her to put it back and then order it and have it shipped to her if I deem it my purview, my responsibility, my pride, and very real pleasure to do so.

BUT...

But, as I said, there is no "One Right Way" to practice. As such, I think it is imperative that the Dom(me) and the sub reach an agreement together through communication and discussion in this just as much as what other kinks and fetishes may apply or be a hard limit.