| soe |
6 years ago •
Dec 25, 2017
dear my miistress
I like femdom exterme toilet ,sex slave and i wanna be a dog slave for my owner.
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Online now
Miki
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6 years ago •
Dec 25, 2017
@SirShagsalot No.. from my perspective as a sub your assessment is spot on. The only difference between us and vanilla sex people is we have wilder fantasies. As you said, domination in this context is not about brutally hurting someone. That is a psycho. I take the paddles, crops and even whips because I get off on the pain. A dom is one who enjoys giving me what i want because he (or she but those are like four-leaf clovers) gets off getting me off. A symbiosis of sorts.
Now about the rope suspension bondage. If you're referring to senyojo jutsu (shibari, etc) I was only lucky enough to experience that once- genuine Japanese shibari-- It ain't easy. The one subjecting me to it had years of experience but still admitted they still needed to learn more. It's an art in and of itself and requires one with an artist's temperament and skill. For me it was a delicious combination of erotic humiliation and being completely vulnerable. The bondage is done in such a way that I (for example) --would find myself shifting as best I could to find the least uncomfortable position, yet all the while the ropes (smooth, obviously) rubbed special places and added to my pleasure. The whole "session" was for a few hours. |
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| soe |
6 years ago •
Dec 25, 2017
SirShagsalot wrote: Hi,
Maybe I'm all wrong on that (probably I am), but in the end much of what we do in kink is acting out our phant'sies. If all we wanted was to inflict pain or have someone crawling at our feet, perhaps joining the Tonton Macoute, working as Merc in some of the more uncivil wars going or working for the secret police in any number of countries should deliver better and if all subs wanted was to be brutalised they could travel to any number of places where speaking up politically or engaging in fairly minor infractions can get you into ever so much trouble. Instead what we want, is live out, risk aware and responsibly, our phantasies with a Sub who gets exactly what she/he needs from us so we all get that rush that "vanilla" rarely if ever delivers. In this case - as always - the responsibility for safety lies with the party who is in charge. If you go bungee jumping you sign away your life if something goes wrong. The person in charge must be competent to make sure that the result is a thrill ride that ends in a catharsis, not a wheelchair or a coffin. Some of the more extreme plays in BDSM are as dangerous. So if you choose to take your sub past what is vanilla, safe and conventional, you accept the responsibility for their safety and indeed for their development as person, in the lifestyle. So the least to be expected that you know enough about human anatomy and psychology to avoid doing unintentional harm and enough about yourself to not intentionally do something they are not ready for, do not want or which may put them at risk. And how can you expect discipline if you yourself have non? If you are not ready for that, if you lack knowledge, then you need training as a Dom, or perhaps better start out as Sub first, if only for experience. Past that when we say "Sub Training" it is not like forcing an animal to perform, inflicting whatever pain needed to gain compliance, it is an agreed scenario which will push the Sub to their limits, make them explore what they are truly capable of and which has clear limits and safewords. So in this case "training" is actually a mental device that can allow a sub to overcome barriers, to tell her/him-self "I must comply, I'm being trained", yet knowing that any time they wish, they can get it to stop. For me personal, I totally adore the rope suspension bondage some Dom's do well and safely. But I do not know how to do it safely - so if I come across a Sub who wants this and I want to practice, well, then I'm down for some serious lessons too. Greez S.S.A.L. |
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| soe |
6 years ago •
Dec 25, 2017
dear my misstress
i like any lifestyle ..
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| soe |
6 years ago •
Dec 25, 2017
Miki wrote: @SirShagsalot No.. from my perspective as a sub your assessment is spot on. The only difference between us and vanilla sex people is we have wilder fantasies. As you said, domination in this context is not about brutally hurting someone. That is a psycho. I take the paddles, crops and even whips because I get off on the pain. A dom is one who enjoys giving me what i want because he (or she but those are like four-leaf clovers) gets off getting me off. A symbiosis of sorts.
Now about the rope suspension bondage. If you're referring to senyojo jutsu (shibari, etc) I was only lucky enough to experience that once- genuine Japanese shibari-- It ain't easy. The one subjecting me to it had years of experience but still admitted they still needed to learn more. It's an art in and of itself and requires one with an artist's temperament and skill. For me it was a delicious combination of erotic humiliation and being completely vulnerable. The bondage is done in such a way that I (for example) --would find myself shifting as best I could to find the least uncomfortable position, yet all the while the ropes (smooth, obviously) rubbed special places and added to my pleasure. The whole "session" was for a few hours. |
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evergrey(sub female){Ashigeru}
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6 years ago •
Dec 25, 2017
Re: dear my miistress soe wrote: I like femdom exterme toilet ,sex slave and i wanna be a dog slave for my owner.
Heh, ok. So maybe some subs need training in basic social interaction. |
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Taramafor(sub male)
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6 years ago •
Dec 26, 2017
@evergrey: As do some doms. Which actually brings me to a good point. Some out there actually go demanding subs to serve them as if it's their right instead of the subs.
What soe posted was just an off topic add. Bad soe. Ahem. But yes, when it comes to doms that are acting... as if they are forcing matters, they would need to be informed. Some subs actually fall for this too, which just goes to show that subs also need to be informed that it's THEIR right to serve or not. not something to be done out of either an obligation or desperation. You'd be surprised how often people lose sight of those two simple things. In and out of BDSM. |
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Miki
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6 years ago •
Dec 26, 2017
Re: dear my miistress evergrey wrote: soe wrote: I like femdom exterme toilet ,sex slave and i wanna be a dog slave for my owner.
Heh, ok. So maybe some subs need training in basic social interaction. I checked her profile.. It says she is in Malaysia. Aside from needing to study "how things work" she might have issues with English. My reply to her was (I hope) a kind nudge in the direction of research. I don't think she's in the same grouping as those who see this place on Google and sign up thinking they'll get laid, paddled or the opportunity to slap around some ass instantly. She simply doesn't know. Or so I would guess. |
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Dueces(neither female)
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6 years ago •
Dec 26, 2017
Its rather interesting going through this Forum, and mind boggling all at once.
This subject is right up my Alley, being a Trainer of the Lifestyle for over five years, both online and offline. ALL roles require some form of Training or at the very least, Mentoring. I say this, because of the importance of passing on good solid and safe information not only to yourself but to other people. Chancing things on luck, and growing experience is ignorant. You don't know a single thing, and you are bringing others into your unsafe practices. Your intent may be great, but you wont know the effects of your ill informed actions until a later time, if ever. Dominants are no worse than submissives and vice versa. There are a shit tonne of submissives out there who take abuse but equal amounts who dish it out just as well. Who manipulate, passively aggressively become controlling and who assume falling into Ds with a Dominant will let them just 'be' and not have to put in any effort, or provide anything back. There are a fuck load of Dominants out there who try to bring something to a relationship with the right mentality, and then there are a bunch of morons who go running into activities, assume authority and control then means they can leak it outside of a scene, and destroy a submissives entirety in the fake label of BDSM. I get it. I've seen plenty of it. I know that almost every second individual has a story. Now ask yourself if any of these people were authentically Trained and knowledgeable before they entered the dynamic. Were their partners authentically Trained and knowledgeable? And then go further to see whether or not both parties took their time (this advice being part of Training as well might i add), and can truly say they knew what flags to look for socially and BDSM wise, and that they really, TRULY understood the person they were letting into their D/s relationship? Im not saying every case is as simple as the above, not blaming anyone, but certainly not going to deny the impact that Training can have positively on someone in the Lifestyle, as opposed to nothing.... Now whilst i agree there are Dominants and submissive who abuse the term Trainer and Mentor, who incorporate that into their D/s, somehow mixing Training and their role together, and who take advantage of their trainees to try and get them to be their D/s partner or use... i also have to express that we aren't all bad... you are responsible for your choices of engagement in Training and you have full accountability to remove yourself if something doesnt feel right. Certainly take your time finding a Trainer or Mentor that is a 'good egg' for lack of a better expression, and be accountable in your selection process as well. Take off the rose coloured glasses, and get off the fluffy pink and blue clouds. Use your logic. D/s isnt any different to vanilla, you need to be smart. Stop settling for crap, and start asking questions and getting yourself where you need to go safely. A Trainer should provide the basics, or an extended understanding of Lifestyle aspects. They should expose you to both sides of the coin, and every role type. They should not be your Dominant nor your submissive, but they will correct you and check your knowledge. They should not gain anything sexual from the Training. They Train. It's a job. They should be able to give you details in terms of the information they go through, structure of modules, and the outcomes. They should constantly keep moving with the times and upgrade their own knowledge to be able to correctly teach their Trainees and understand a combination of old and new school. They should go through a verbal or written contract, much like in Ds where everyone can note their expectations, their limits, and so forth to make the Training effective. Their aim is not to break their Trainees but instead provide a wealth of understanding that when released from Training they have confidence that the Trainee will be a positive addition to the community, and not take from it. Inform yourself, do not rely on a relationship to fix and guide you. Thats like bringing a baby into a broken relationship and assuming it will mend things over and grow you both as a couple... Its like walking into a gym where you have never seen a piece of gym equipment in your life, and assuming that you will be able to walk someone else through the equipment and use without hurting them... Its like jumping in a puddle without seeing what the depth of the water is... No role is better or worse, or in more or less need of Training than the other. You are a person, and not a role. But most of all, unless you have had authentic Training and still had negative experiences in D/s relationships after you have been taught, that directly correlate to your Training and learning, please don't endanger other people by telling them not to do it. Advise them to research someone (if they so choose it) safely, and to ask a multitude of questions, observe, and converse for a period of time until they are satisfied to engage in Training and even then, to continue to check in with themselves that they are getting a good and SSC bound experience. Good luck. FYI: For more information and a deeper delve into and around the psychology and emotional effects of D/s not done correctly (via the wrong mentality for BDSM, or lack of knowledge) please check my blog in the next 24 hours 
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SubDraco(sub male){Caged}
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6 years ago •
Dec 26, 2017
wow... I think I will take a look at that blog, to become more informed is one of the main reasons I joined.
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