3 months ago • 11/21/2020 10:30 pm
Taramafor(sub male) • 11/21/2020 10:30 pm
Quote: While it can seem as though it "happens that fast" those are not borne of genuine emotional bonding, more of lust and/or infatuation, neither of which lasts long term.
That's what I meant when I said "happy feelings have to be tempered". it can happen that first. Quicker even. But ONLY with proper communication established. If the MOST you can say is "happy happy happy" without being realistic and pointing out concerns anywhere (current or possible down the line) then that's just not going to end well. It's why I focus on clearing up concerns ASAP so happiness can be focused on without shit biting you in the ass later.
Quote: I suspect the "dom" in question is either very young or very inexperienced
Observant as I am, to the point I can read people with very little to go on them, I can assure you that they are.
Quote: over several months
It can happen in days. Time does not equate to knowing. You can know someone for a year and THINK you know them, marry them then find out you didn't. You can know someone for a few days and know everything. That's down to communication. Not time. Depending on the concerns there are that will change how long it takes for concerns to be cleared up. If both involved have zero concerns yet are aware of things, then a relationship can happen VERY quickly. If however even ONE person has concerns and worries needlessly (or not enough) then that can slow things down by over a year or longer. That's all going to depend. The main issue is ignorance and knowing about the things that REALLY matter. Like not being close minded and projecting onto others because of bad past experience (or the most common viewpoint). Along with knowing about things like choice and control. etc.
Quote: what's the hurry if you plan on spending your lives together?
First of all, just because you're with one person doesn't mean you can't be with others as well. So "Sorting out this relationship" so you can focus on others factors in. You never know what tomorrow will throw at you. Another lover out of the blue could appear. You could slip on the front door step and break your neck. So you have to make the best of the current situation no matter what happens. Knowing how is the trick.
Think about it. There's a reason people want to do things now. And if you know how, you can. Without putting yourself in danger. But you have to KNOW how in order to do it. People that go slow for the sake of being slow simply worry and don't know how to make things happen quicker because of their overly cautious nature. Which could be leaving bad events to linger unresolved as well.
There's a number of factors at play. It gets technical. But boil it down to this. "Being aware and being direct with honesty and straight answers." Rest tends to fall into place after that. Even if you're not looking for a relationship. People will just love ya if you're that capable and honest.