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Enamored Dominant or Just a Lunatic?

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Taramafor​(sub male)
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 10:30 pm
Taramafor​(sub male) • 11/21/2020 10:30 pm
Quote: While it can seem as though it "happens that fast" those are not borne of genuine emotional bonding, more of lust and/or infatuation, neither of which lasts long term.

That's what I meant when I said "happy feelings have to be tempered". it can happen that first. Quicker even. But ONLY with proper communication established. If the MOST you can say is "happy happy happy" without being realistic and pointing out concerns anywhere (current or possible down the line) then that's just not going to end well. It's why I focus on clearing up concerns ASAP so happiness can be focused on without shit biting you in the ass later.

Quote: I suspect the "dom" in question is either very young or very inexperienced

Observant as I am, to the point I can read people with very little to go on them, I can assure you that they are.

Quote: over several months

It can happen in days. Time does not equate to knowing. You can know someone for a year and THINK you know them, marry them then find out you didn't. You can know someone for a few days and know everything. That's down to communication. Not time. Depending on the concerns there are that will change how long it takes for concerns to be cleared up. If both involved have zero concerns yet are aware of things, then a relationship can happen VERY quickly. If however even ONE person has concerns and worries needlessly (or not enough) then that can slow things down by over a year or longer. That's all going to depend. The main issue is ignorance and knowing about the things that REALLY matter. Like not being close minded and projecting onto others because of bad past experience (or the most common viewpoint). Along with knowing about things like choice and control. etc.

Quote: what's the hurry if you plan on spending your lives together?

First of all, just because you're with one person doesn't mean you can't be with others as well. So "Sorting out this relationship" so you can focus on others factors in. You never know what tomorrow will throw at you. Another lover out of the blue could appear. You could slip on the front door step and break your neck. So you have to make the best of the current situation no matter what happens. Knowing how is the trick.

Think about it. There's a reason people want to do things now. And if you know how, you can. Without putting yourself in danger. But you have to KNOW how in order to do it. People that go slow for the sake of being slow simply worry and don't know how to make things happen quicker because of their overly cautious nature. Which could be leaving bad events to linger unresolved as well.

There's a number of factors at play. It gets technical. But boil it down to this. "Being aware and being direct with honesty and straight answers." Rest tends to fall into place after that. Even if you're not looking for a relationship. People will just love ya if you're that capable and honest.
Master Havok​(dom male)
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 9:16 pm
Master Havok​(dom male) • 11/21/2020 9:16 pm
I am curious how this all played out in the end. It is a very good instructional scenario on how quickly emotions can overwhelm common sense, and possibly just how dangerous it can be. I suspect the "dom" in question is either very young or very inexperienced. So many red flags for someone who only lives an hour or so apart. Living that close gives you so many options to get to know each other very well, over several months before the subject of living together should be discussed, let alone breeding and contracts. Take your time building a lasting relationship if that's what you seek, especially at that age. what's the hurry if you plan on spending your lives together? Plenty of SSC contact first.

I once knew a woman (who claimed) to have decided to back off from a man who seemed good and exciting over the phone, they also spoke for hours, but she decided it was moving to quickly just days before her flight. It turns out six months later he was all over the news. The Dom was Dennis Rader, also known as the BTK serial killer. Be safe out there, everyone.
Miki​(masochist female){Owned by D}
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 7:05 pm
Miki​(masochist female){Owned by D} • 11/21/2020 7:05 pm
Even with all such contracts not being worth the paper they are written on, he expected her to move in right away, transfer her phone to his control, etc. That's a recipe for an involuntary disappearing act. While it can seem as though it "happens that fast" those are not borne of genuine emotional bonding, more of lust and/or infatuation, neither of which lasts long term.
Yeah it's a year old thread and someone dug it out of the dust bin and since the O P has not made a recent follow-up post, from here on out I'll treat this topic as valid but the actual "case" settled one way or another.
Taramafor​(sub male)
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 2:23 pm
Taramafor​(sub male) • 11/21/2020 2:23 pm
Yikes. A year old thread.

So, first of all, the breeding thing. Starting that "right away"? When it's been five days? That alone hints at the people involved being young and dumb and rushing in blind.

Granted, it CAN happen that quickly, or even sooner. In good ways. But if you're worrying about contracts to that extent then that's the equivalent of being too careless. There's a difference between quickly getting things established and rushing in blind. The initial "Happy feelings" have to be tempered with considering "ugly fallout's" down the line. You have to have a keen eye and good observation skills to be able to detect if someone is "Worrying too much" or "Being too careless". And it takes a talented, experienced eye to detect when someone doesn't worry, makes it about you and avoid all assumptions without being careless. And THOSE people won't even need contracts in the first place. They just make things happen.
trainerforall​(sub male)
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 12:42 pm
trainerforall​(sub male) • 11/21/2020 12:42 pm
Contracts are unforceable in all jurisdictions worldwide.
After 4 or 5 days you need to be very careful. You haven't even met this guy. Take your time, get to know each other and NEVER do anything you don't want to do.
My opinion..........run away, NOW
Miki​(masochist female){Owned by D}
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 6:55 am
Miki​(masochist female){Owned by D} • 11/21/2020 6:55 am
I agree completely. Even for a situation based over a good deal of time and not a few days (at the time O P wrote header) -- should not go down like that. She is 23 (at time of post) and too young for that sort of... imprisonment.
petiteluna​(sub female)
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 5:18 am
petiteluna​(sub female) • 11/21/2020 5:18 am
I’m not expert, but in my experience, a good Dom wants you to be comfortable and make sure you’re going at a pace that you’re good with. Seems like he tryna cuff you real fast...kinda sus to me. Be safe friend 💜 if you need to talk to someone!!! Please dm me!
Miki​(masochist female){Owned by D}
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 4:36 am
Miki​(masochist female){Owned by D} • 11/21/2020 4:36 am
I'm curious as to how this all shook out too. It's an old thread so whatever was going to happen, either did or didn't. By now this thing is 7 pages long and I don't have the time to read every post, did anyone ask/see what she meant by "breeding" her? Did that mean he wanted to make babies or breed her with others? The latter would not surprise me.

But for what that is all worth, it sounds like shit-coated l situation. Dominants dominate but that dude is overbearing. Never switch the phone to his provider, etc. It's a line of communication in case a domineering dom turns out to be a crazed creep.
LongerJohnny​(dom male)
3 months ago • 11/21/2020 1:16 am
LongerJohnny​(dom male) • 11/21/2020 1:16 am
Meeshy, it's been over a year since we all had this conversation. I really want to check in with you to see how you are doing now and ask about how things went.
Unfortunately you and I can't send pms to one another so I'm posting this here. Please catch me up.
Hoping you are well,
LJ