Enamored Dominant or Just a Lunatic?

NO

katerina​(sub female) • Oct 18, 2019

Girl i just read your response. The last part is a joke. He is not ‘being nice by letting you take a few more months’. I urge you to not meet with him period. I do not believe he will respect any of your limits considering he is manipulating your feelings right now. I know that when you start out it is easy to go crazy for every thing that lands on your doorstep, but take a step back. Breathe...

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

No Dom I know has that time of time frame requirement for moving in or anything like this, for me especially if meeting online it's months before even meeting usually.

Get a feel for each other, play online, see if their is a deeper connection than something 5 minutes long.

If everything is built on bdsm and "the contract" it will never last at all. Though by the sounds of it you maybe locked in a basement with no way out and not have a choice.

Not to mention him trying to take control of your cell phone and what you wear already before even meeting. Sounds like you are in sub frenzy and he is in Dom frenzy trying to find someone willing to fall for his bull shit.

meeshymeesh​(sub female){Pending...} • Oct 18, 2019

Thank you guys for responding and I definitely feel the support from you all expressing concern for my safety. I think I misread/misunderstood the legal contract question, the contract is for us to be on the same page and whatnot. I’m on the phone with him rn, and I’ll let him know that how I feel on the matter. I mean if he’s so called in love with me he should be willing to slow down in consideration of my feelings...

He said that he was granting me extended time since most doms would move their sub in within a month, while he’s allowing a few months (now until January/February) for me to be well trained enough to move in with him.

LittleMissNat​(sub female){Engaged} • Oct 18, 2019

Holy hell girl. No no no. None of this is a good idea. Not one bit of it. This guy is bad news. If not a lunatic, most certainly a fake dom who knows nothing about this lifestyle. You will be harmed. Not hurt. Not the fun stuff. Harmed. Injured. If not physically, emotionally. This shit is not something you talk about over five days. Hell it takes months or even years to build a relationship and dynamic. It's all built on trust. Tell me, do you trust him with your life? No? Then don't fucking enter a contract. That's ridiculously stupid.

My advice to you, Ditch the fake, Look on FetLife for local munches and go and get knowledge. All of the damn knowledge so you know how to spot this. So you know how to play safely and find a relationship with a real Dom.

A real Dom would NEVER talk about a contract in the first five days. Let alone moving in or any of the things you've mentioned.

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

I agree with everyone above, you really should break off all connections and run away.

If you do agree to meet, setup a ton of safety protocols. Make sure a friend is there with you, if you can't have that, then make sure they know exactly where you are going to be. Make sure you have code words that only both of you know for safety. Only meet in public not private.

Reach out to any sub on here and talk to them first. Many new subs only rely on doms for sources of information and guidance. Fellow subs are an even better and more bountiful source to tap into.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

Wow, lots of red flags here!!!
Here's the thing,
Hes talking about making you his slave, not his sub. A meaningless distinction perhaps since all slaves - indeed all bottoms - must necessarily submit, but one worth making since you are pretty new to this and he should know better than not to explain it.
A few examples:
Being a sub is usually not 24/7, it does not place demands on your time and life that you dont agree to, and is always subject to consent in the form of limits and safewords.
Being a slave usually is 24/7, strips your freedom and sense of self, restricts your life to 1 master and his chosen commands, and all too often ignores limits and safewords.
Big difference.
Now consider just the basics of your particular situation:
- You two have never met in person. As well intentioned and honest as your feelings may be, 5 days not is not nearly enough time to define this as much of a relationship at all. You are using words like love and caring and dependence and submission and property when speaking about someone you've never even met. Would you do the same in any other relationship?
- Your profile says you want to be a mom some day. Wouldnt you prefer your kids to have both parents? Breeding and parenting are not necessarily the same thing. One just makes children, the other fathers them.
- What happens if after you become his property he decides you may not leave the house? No school, no job, no family or friends, no hobbies, no outside interaction of any kind. He may never do that to you - but what if he did? You're his property, you have no freedom, you have no say in it. Do you want that?
- Speaking of safewords, do you have one? Does he? (yes doms should have them too.) Are you "allowed" to have and use one?
- If this proposed move isn't for a few months then why is either of you making any changes to your lives now? How about spending those few months getting to know and trust and like each other.
Just a few things to think about.
And by the way, those contracts are not legally binding. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. The are ceremonial and fun and good reference material, but that's it. And don't take my word for it either - look it up.

Romantic is good, naive is not, perhaps especially in the kind of relationship you're considering. It is ultimately and entirely your decision Just be aware of all the red flags. They are called that for good reason.

djinni​(dom female){smplylaura} • Oct 18, 2019

Run... far away and fast!

I would not even meet him. His expectations on such a new submissive and relationship are unrealistic.

Please do not meet him. If you insist.... meet in public, with a friend and a weapon.

Please feel free to message me. I’m happy to talk to this person on your behalf. I don’t even know you but I fear for your safety.

FunCouple{.-Couple-.} • Oct 18, 2019

In answer to your title’s question, I would vote: Lunatic.

Solidbobtheflamingo​(dom male){Megagem} • Oct 18, 2019

I can not make any statements on anyone in this thread from a personal perspective. Having said this I think this is a horrible idea and I would strongly suggest against it. Five days is not long enough to get to know anyone there could be many things that you just don't know or have not thought of. Also the fact that they want you to start having sex almost immediately does not send out great signals. Slow down and look up a thing called sub frenzy.

Wow

katerina​(sub female) • Oct 18, 2019

Um personally, that feels a bit intense if you’re just starting out. I’m not anyone to tell you or anyone else how to go about this, but i will say that if I was starting out all over again i would not jump into this. A big red flag for me is that you’re questioning his demands. DO NOT jump into a relationship with a dom just because he offered. Wait for someone who is willing to take it at your pace! There are plenty of people willing to train. It is, however, what you are after and where your goals lie. In a sense he seems more like he wants a slave rather than submissive. Are his demands (such as moving in/ switching providers) flexible or negotiable?