Enamored Dominant or Just a Lunatic?

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

Wow, lots of red flags here!!!
Here's the thing,
Hes talking about making you his slave, not his sub. A meaningless distinction perhaps since all slaves - indeed all bottoms - must necessarily submit, but one worth making since you are pretty new to this and he should know better than not to explain it.
A few examples:
Being a sub is usually not 24/7, it does not place demands on your time and life that you dont agree to, and is always subject to consent in the form of limits and safewords.
Being a slave usually is 24/7, strips your freedom and sense of self, restricts your life to 1 master and his chosen commands, and all too often ignores limits and safewords.
Big difference.
Now consider just the basics of your particular situation:
- You two have never met in person. As well intentioned and honest as your feelings may be, 5 days not is not nearly enough time to define this as much of a relationship at all. You are using words like love and caring and dependence and submission and property when speaking about someone you've never even met. Would you do the same in any other relationship?
- Your profile says you want to be a mom some day. Wouldnt you prefer your kids to have both parents? Breeding and parenting are not necessarily the same thing. One just makes children, the other fathers them.
- What happens if after you become his property he decides you may not leave the house? No school, no job, no family or friends, no hobbies, no outside interaction of any kind. He may never do that to you - but what if he did? You're his property, you have no freedom, you have no say in it. Do you want that?
- Speaking of safewords, do you have one? Does he? (yes doms should have them too.) Are you "allowed" to have and use one?
- If this proposed move isn't for a few months then why is either of you making any changes to your lives now? How about spending those few months getting to know and trust and like each other.
Just a few things to think about.
And by the way, those contracts are not legally binding. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. The are ceremonial and fun and good reference material, but that's it. And don't take my word for it either - look it up.

Romantic is good, naive is not, perhaps especially in the kind of relationship you're considering. It is ultimately and entirely your decision Just be aware of all the red flags. They are called that for good reason.

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

I agree with everyone above, you really should break off all connections and run away.

If you do agree to meet, setup a ton of safety protocols. Make sure a friend is there with you, if you can't have that, then make sure they know exactly where you are going to be. Make sure you have code words that only both of you know for safety. Only meet in public not private.

Reach out to any sub on here and talk to them first. Many new subs only rely on doms for sources of information and guidance. Fellow subs are an even better and more bountiful source to tap into.

LittleMissNat​(sub female){Engaged} • Oct 18, 2019

Holy hell girl. No no no. None of this is a good idea. Not one bit of it. This guy is bad news. If not a lunatic, most certainly a fake dom who knows nothing about this lifestyle. You will be harmed. Not hurt. Not the fun stuff. Harmed. Injured. If not physically, emotionally. This shit is not something you talk about over five days. Hell it takes months or even years to build a relationship and dynamic. It's all built on trust. Tell me, do you trust him with your life? No? Then don't fucking enter a contract. That's ridiculously stupid.

My advice to you, Ditch the fake, Look on FetLife for local munches and go and get knowledge. All of the damn knowledge so you know how to spot this. So you know how to play safely and find a relationship with a real Dom.

A real Dom would NEVER talk about a contract in the first five days. Let alone moving in or any of the things you've mentioned.

meeshymeesh​(sub female){Pending...} • Oct 18, 2019

Thank you guys for responding and I definitely feel the support from you all expressing concern for my safety. I think I misread/misunderstood the legal contract question, the contract is for us to be on the same page and whatnot. I’m on the phone with him rn, and I’ll let him know that how I feel on the matter. I mean if he’s so called in love with me he should be willing to slow down in consideration of my feelings...

He said that he was granting me extended time since most doms would move their sub in within a month, while he’s allowing a few months (now until January/February) for me to be well trained enough to move in with him.

Philly Belwas​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

No Dom I know has that time of time frame requirement for moving in or anything like this, for me especially if meeting online it's months before even meeting usually.

Get a feel for each other, play online, see if their is a deeper connection than something 5 minutes long.

If everything is built on bdsm and "the contract" it will never last at all. Though by the sounds of it you maybe locked in a basement with no way out and not have a choice.

Not to mention him trying to take control of your cell phone and what you wear already before even meeting. Sounds like you are in sub frenzy and he is in Dom frenzy trying to find someone willing to fall for his bull shit.

NO

katerina​(sub female) • Oct 18, 2019

Girl i just read your response. The last part is a joke. He is not ‘being nice by letting you take a few more months’. I urge you to not meet with him period. I do not believe he will respect any of your limits considering he is manipulating your feelings right now. I know that when you start out it is easy to go crazy for every thing that lands on your doorstep, but take a step back. Breathe...

SkipperC​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

bullshit most doms would move there sub in after a month lies to move the goal post make him seem more understanding but still giving you no room, it sound like he is just buying your momentary trust so he can get you alone. The truth most dom/sub relationships should take half a year or more to even be discussing in serious terms life changing decisions, bedroom talk is okay but this is crazy.

Zedland​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

Yeah this reeks of crazy, you should run meeshy. Run very far very quickly. This guy wants to go from nothing to a committed Master/slave relationship with breeding in under a week. That is simply not how things happen in the real world and in fiction they still end badly most of the time.

So yeah, run.

Justme26 • Oct 18, 2019

Sorry I do not have much to add, but I am also very concerned for your safety. I think you are crazy to go through with this, but if you do then please keep in touch with someone for support or whatever.

I do not think that statement about "moving they're subs in" is true. Lots of subs do not live with there domes. Have you read the blogs on here?

I would like to know how this works out, otherwise I will worry for your safety, seriously.

Something Different​(dom male) • Oct 18, 2019

Based on the quick response you need to think about this as a normal standard relationship. When was the last time a guy moved this fast after talking to you for a few days. I feel like I just got pregnant with his rush to breeding. I can understand him asking you a few questions about your feelings towards it but whoa. You have been in vanilla relationships before and how many attempted to pay your phone bill? How many took you shopping?

Does he even know what your fears are or what makes you smile? Who was the last person that broke your heart? This guy is moving faster than lightning. When you are courting any women BDSM or vanilla there has to be a strong investment in knowing the things about her that reminds her why she is letting you in. You have been talking for only a few days and he wants you by his side. You don’t even know how he sleeps. You know about as much about him as we all do and that’s only what he has told you. You haven’t even had time to find out if he can maintain this whirlwind of promises. Even a sugar daddy will make you work for it. Yes, you are a beautiful women but my gosh pump the breaks.

My radar aka BS meter is on high alert. Please slow things down because this is how we read about you in the paper. This lifestyle doesn’t move this fast no matter how great things seem in the beginning. You don’t even know how he benefits your life. Yes, you benefit his in so many ways. It bothers me that he is borderline forcing you because you’re a newbie and he is an instadom.

He needs to prove himself as a Dom not only to you but to himself. There are tons of amazing women on this site and they all will tell you STOP. I have watched so many women go from taken to collard to nothing at all because they get overwhelmed like a new girl at a high school dance. Your safety and sanity is way more important than jumping this fast. If he is real he will understand and slow it down if he is fake he will get pissed off and try and sell you on how great he is.

You don’t have to sell a Bentley people just buy it because you know the value and a women shouldn’t have to be sold on how great you are as a Dom or as a man she should be able to see and feel it. If he is real he should have sent flowers, cards and candy. Things to show his affection if he moves this fast. If he is really making money he should send you a brand new phone. Yes, I am calling him out!!!!!!!! On behalf of all the real Doms and subs that are here for the marathon it takes to build an unbelievable relationship.

Any guy who says soon as you sign your name you lose the right to be a human being. You lose the right to have a choice. Your submission is a gift not some simple contract that entitles him to breed you. He can’t even get a women not in the lifestyle to agree to that trash talk.

Tell him to submit his hand to his penis and rub his way out of your life. I was asked to respond to your question and usually I stay quiet on here. This made me come out and respond.

MIND BLOWN!!!!!!!