SubtleHush(sub female) |
3 years ago •
Nov 27, 2020
3 years ago •
Nov 27, 2020
SubtleHush(sub female) • Nov 27, 2020
meeshymeesh: "I actually worked with him on a lot of those issues but it got out of hand and I had to wash my hands of him."
(Its really hard to work with people on their issues. There is a psychology behind self-growth. When I was a professional organizer I occasionally had spouses, sisters, family members call me to make me a present for someone else. I did it once and never again. Giving someone a chance to grow isn't going to work. They have no skin in the game. They have to want it, seek it, and pay for it. That challenges them to get back what they put in. It's the same for therapy. If you are an adult you have to book your own appointment.) (When you help someone casually they don't see it the same. I call it the good hair syndrome When someone is complimented, on their hair or clothes etc, it's a boost. They feel great in that moment, but it wears off and they forget it and go back to how they were feeling. Its the same when we try to work with someone. It's all good in the moment and then it fades. And if it is a behavior, like enabling and being spoiled that they like - and is easier than saying no- they go right back.) "It got to the point that his mom was buying furniture for us after I had clearly let him and her know that I was not interested in moving in with him until he could prove he was more mature which I estimated to be some years. The time that I did date him was less BDSM and more like raising a grown ass kid." (Sure, she created the situation by enabling him and was trying to hand off the baton to you. It's a great thing that you valued yourself enough to step off. Taking such things on can become a full time job and the minute you stop it can all go back to what it was or get worse.) |
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