Would you ever tell them?

phonybologna​(sub female){Collared} • Jul 24, 2020

I would never tell my family because they would never understand. My parents think I’m very innocent and I doubt they would guess that I’ve even had sex (although I’ve been with my dom for 4 years). I have told a few of my friends, and they have been very accepting of it. Although they are very surprised when they find out I’m a sub and not a dom. I’m pretty open about my sex life so unless my dom specifically asks me not to share something I would answer any questions I got honestly.

NoClvrNickname​(sub female) • Aug 9, 2020

Family? Absolutely not.
Close friends? A couple know but don’t “get” it or know the depth of it. Like they think BDSM is what the media portrays.

NoOneofConsequence​(dom male){Taken} • Aug 9, 2020

I was the last to know. Much to the hilarity of several.

Bunnie • Aug 9, 2020

I struggle to remember what would be considered unusual anymore, so although I do try, I find it very difficult to remember what’s considered unacceptable in vanilla-land.
I guess I outed myself to a friend when I asked her if she wanted to see some really cool rope pics I had just had done... very beautiful, classy, professional shots... I was so excited, and had forgotten, until her horrified response, that rope wasn’t “normal” to some. Oops. She loves me, so she accepts that it’s my journey, however out of respect for each other, we don’t discuss any of my preferences or shenanigans lol.

I’ve told both my sisters, and have discussed things lightly and answered any curiosities that arose, but they’re smart girls, so I left it up to them to research further if they wanted to know more about the actual lifestyle, and just kept the door open to them if they wanted to ask questions.

Stuck my foot in it again recently when my dad was admiring my stuffies and I realised for a moment how it must look to others, the fact that one of the bunny’s is tied in a rope harness. Oops again. He didn’t say anything but there was definitely the vibe of a question hanging in the air lol. However, after seeing his curiosity at a recent movie he watched that was based on D/s, I came to suspect that he has kink tendencies he may or may not be aware of. It’s not something I can imagine us ever discussing, but it seems to have created an unspoken understanding between us.

I don’t hide, however I also have nothing to prove. If people are curious and want to ask me about my lifestyle choices, I’m happy to share as much information as they are comfortable with, however, I’m not going to shove it in their face. I don’t feel the need to make others uncomfortable just because I choose to walk a different path than them, and I can understand that this way of life can be confronting for those not involved in it, so I just quietly do my own thing, and hope that those who care about me can respect me enough to simply support that it’s my wishes to live how I choose, just as I support them. I am lucky to say that I do have that from those in my life.

kajirasubm{On Hiatus } • Aug 9, 2020

I subscribe to the basic - never kiss and tell.
What one shares with their partner is between both and never shared with anyone else.
A relationship is a precious bond, and should be honored as such.

Bunnie • Aug 9, 2020

@ kajirasub, good thought to point that out. I assumed relationship aspects not being discussed was a given... but that’s breaking my own rule of never assuming what something means to me, means the same to someone else. I too never “kiss and tell.”
I will share the “brochure,” but not the “blueprints.”

RedKat{Not now } • Aug 9, 2020

Hell no, nobody that I know would come close to understanding me...

TheDankLord​(switch male) • Aug 10, 2020

I am usually really careful about who I tell and I'm not super public about my fetishes, but I have definitely told some people I feel I can trust. Mostly very close friends, or people who admitted themselves that they were kinky. If its a girl sometimes I'll bring it up if they drop hints that suggest an interest in kink (ie talking at length, in great detail, or with unusually high level of enthusiasm about restraints, going barefoot, or some other thing I'm into.), and respond with a hint of my own to see if I can steer the conversation in that direction. But yeah, besides that I'm pretty down low about it. None of my family knows and I don't feel they need to, it'd be awkward talking about it with them anyway. Unless its a very close and intimate friend, a person who has flat out admitted they are kinky, or a person who I have reason to believe may be interested in doing some play with me, I hide it pretty well. Too much stigma and many people who I'm not close with or who are not kinky themselves probably would not understand and I don't want to take that chance.

Belladonna Dreams​(sub female){Phage'Hada} • Aug 10, 2020

My family doesn't know but my friends do.

DrKrall • Aug 11, 2020

My family knows. My sister has always known or at least for many years. I don't remember ever discussing it with her but she has always known and never outed me. My mom and dad found out after me and my ex going for a weeks vacation. Mom got curious and managed to find out we were at a BDSM club. Dad was amused but mom was upset and we had to have a sit down and educate her on BDSM, M/s relationships, consentual non consent and how it differs from domestic abuse. She still didn't like it but it calmed her down. Anyway it felt good to have come out of the closet.