Managing Pain in a Scene

Managing Pain in a Scene

SuperEight​(sub female) • Jan 10, 2020

Anyone have advice, tips, or tricks to handling pain while playing? I think myself a bit of a masochist and my Dom has been slowly adding new techniques or equipment to our sessions intended to test how much I can take. It started with the standard spanking, adding a crop/wooden spoon and has moved on to clothespins and we're considering canes.
There have been times where although I haven't needed my safe word to stop completely, I've definitely needed a timeout for a while from pain-inducing play. While my Dom is great and always checks in on me before moving onto something different, I cant help but feel I've "interrupted" the session.
I'd love to explore this further with my Dom and was wondering if you have any tricks to help tolerate and enjoy pain during a session?

Knightsundere​(sub male) • Jan 10, 2020

For actual methods for mitigating pain I don't have any solid advice beyond just trying to put yourself in something of a meditative state when in those stretches, and recognizing the pain without registering a reaction. Best way of describing it is the mental block you put on when doing something gross, like squishing a really big bug - shut your brain off. Downside to this is you have to turn your brain back on to be able to pay attention to your privates.

However, I can say that pain thresholds are a thing and you shouldn't feel bad about reaching yours. I have a horribly low pain threshold - it's not unreasonable if I'm caught off-guard to bring me to my knees with a decent pinch and some downwards pressure. There's no reason to be ashamed about getting to the max of what your body can take - if your dom fully needed someone built Ford-ToughTM they would've/should've gone for that themselves. Try finding alternate and/or interesting ways of delivering the pain at the level you can accept, rather than slowly (and painfully) trying to break past it.

LordofPain56 • Jan 10, 2020

Who says it's all the responsibility of the sub. Dom's tend to push pain limits. But we also diligently watch her responses as we apply our cruelty. We can tell when it is too much for her. I had always stopped for a few moments (even if she doesn't use the safeword), and rub the affected area with lotion or cool the area with a soft wet cloth until I could detect the appearance of relief upon her face. Then start again with a little less intensity.
It can take some time to turn a girl into a masochist. Hehe.

Erick​(sub male) • Jan 10, 2020

There's a famous scene in "Lawrence of Arabia" where Peter O'Toole, in the role of the title character, explains to his fellow officers the "trick" of snuffing out a match flame with his bare fingers: "The trick," he says, " is not MINDING that it hurts."

(The real Colonel T.E. Lawrence, an Irishman who looked almost exactly like the handsome actor, was a well-known sadomasochist, who used to pay a man named John Bruce to beat him up. There are also some spicy BDSM passages in Lawrence's memoir "Seven Pillars of Wisdom," which is a fairly interesting read.)

Daddy Time​(dom male) • Jan 10, 2020

Start slow. I am a little obsessive regarding what I am using for the night with little. I arrange my items per power on the bed left to right. This way when I start I am using the small leather strap and a compact haitachi type vibrator. The strap stings and is short so really easy to control the power. I will start with 10 to 15 min of the light play building up her adrenaline which in turn raises pain sensitivity. Towards the end of the scene I am still using the small vibrator but move to the plastic spatula which stings more and the pain lingers a few seconds. Right before climax the striking becomes harder and builds. The next scene start out slow for the first five to ten minutes but with the spatula and larger haitachi moving to wooden spoon etc. buy the last scene she is getting flogged like a bad girl and cumming just from the flogging pain sensitivity now is very high and she can take much stronger strikes. You have to build slowly to get the adrenaline flowing so it lowers your response to pain.

SweetSirRendering​(sub female) • Jan 10, 2020

the body has amazing chemicals it releases during this kind of play an experienced Dom(me) will be tapping into. this takes knowledge, practice, and timing to master. with this knowledge a Dom can use this to decide how much (s)he wants you to feel or if (s)he wants to give you mercy; how present they want you to be and when to release you into a wonderful floating place

my D and i learned this together. each person is unique, so there will be some trial and error always with any dynamic. with caution and ongoing education you should find play to be blissful and relatively safe

learn and practice

also, the goal should never be to play to red. red should definitely be said when needed, but it should not be the name of the game. red is not fun for anyone as it is an instant scene stopper and the D is likely avoiding this as they want their sub to trust them, not worry (much hehe), and definitely don’t want an interruption in their flow. this comes with time with experience on both sides.

patience.

(the word “patience” is actually my “yellow” and it’s rarely necessary to use these words as we know one another and my D pays attention)

MissBonnie​(dom female){oz} • Jan 11, 2020

Research suggests that because pain involves both the mind and the body, mind-body therapies may have the capacity to alleviate pain by changing the way you perceive it. How you feel pain is influenced by your genetic makeup, emotions, personality, and lifestyle. It's also influenced by past experience. you Domme could help you by applying pleasure at the same time, it will help to rewire YOUR mind and body connection.

Dont forget to breath! Sounds stupid but so many with pain (when they are maso) stop breathing or shorten breathes when pain is applied. If you need a reason to breath: Little hint, you'll never reach subspace holding your breath. Endorphins of the good kind stop without good oxygen supply! No decent oxygen supply create a stress response and what is called fight or flight kicks in. Shallow, rapid breathing results from tension. Deep breathing helps relax you. Learning deep breathing reduces muscle tension thereby lessening pain.
Honestly try it! Deep breathing. It's central to all the other techniques above . Inhale deeply, hold for a few seconds, and exhale. To help you focus, you can use a word or phrase to guide you, you can just say it in your head. For example, you may want to breathe in "peace" and breathe out "tension."

Good luck with it it all

Miki • Jan 11, 2020

Safe words or, in the case of a ball gag-- gestures.

Over the years I have developed an high pain threshold but I stop at broken flesh, bleeding, bruising and other longer term issues.

I'm a whipping-post girl (or suspension or on a bed or horse) so that's all very painful-- yet erotic to me and the marks, if the lashes are evenly distributed- aren't permanent.

Also bastionado-- OWW that gets me close to the limit with no marks.

But.. as I said, (as have others) go slow, talk about this crap and use gestures and safe words so a dom (or better, a sadist) knows when to stop.

DrWakko • Jan 11, 2020

One of the best ways I've found to help with pain management is by genital stimulation. Stop the beating and play with them. The stimulation will release all sorts of endorphins to help.

Miki • Jan 11, 2020

@ DrWakko

YES, there's that. I did not mention it because in my experience it's "stimulate me with the pain" all the time. Took it for granted-- Thanks for the addition!