Location

Byrdie​(switch female){rl only} • Feb 2, 2020

In my experience, it's because someone else who may have access to the same computer they're using may access it and find out far more details then they wanted to share with that snooping person. Without posting location info or pictures of any parts of themselves, they can tell the snooper that they were just looking to talk to people about the lifestyle, or just curious to lurk and learn.

I can't remember if The Case does it, but I do know that a certain kinky social media site actually advises folks from smaller areas to list themselves as being located in the nearest big city for privacy purposes: they do this during the profile creation process. This makes it easier for them to find out about nearby kinky events, location-specific discussion groups, etc.

However, when people don't post at least a semi-specific location here, folks searching personals ads or even the Cage's membership list for partners and filtering by location will likely not see these anonymous people listed at all - even if they do claim in their profile that they're looking for a long-term relationship. So while their privacy is nice and all, if they're serious about finding a relationship they're actually sabotaging their own efforts.

As to photos, I think that there are lots of ways to have a photo of oneself on a site and not out yourself: some people wear nice hats and shades, some people put on a suit and photograph themselves from the back, some people show a limited bit of anatomy, some people just show themselves in silhouette, some people drape themselves in fabric, pose, and do a covered full-body shot ... there are plenty of ways to have a photo of onself that won't show one's face if discretion is crucial. Heck, a person can even make a cartoon avatar of themselves online and post that instead.

Draiocht​(dom male) • Jul 27, 2020

I was getting ready to write a post about this myself and then I found this older post from before I joined the site (amazing what a little effort will reveal). So I thought that I would resurrect this post instead, in hopes of gaining additional input.

The Search features on this site are outstanding compared to other sites. However, I've noticed the same thing as stated above, that a substantial portion of members list their location as "United States", or perhaps maybe a state (some states are pretty big!!), rendering the super awesome Search features essentially useless.

It's perplexing to read comments and blogs about being unable to find a mate and then I look at the person's profile and it lists their location as "United States". I don't really want to scroll through an entire nation of personal ads to find someone local.

Maybe I just want to connect with someone local to chat about munches or venues that they recommend. Or maybe just to be friendly and say 'Howdy' to another local kinkster. I understand that some people are cautious about privacy, but do you really think someone is going to find you if you list (insert nearest city here) as your location?

Thoughts?

LordofPain56 • Jul 28, 2020

I have run across many profiles that don't list their location. I always figured that is because they are either fake profiles put in by the webmaster or by wannabe's who just want to lurk. So I ignore those profiles.
It's been a long time since I filled out my profile but I think I assigned it to say I am in St. Louis, although I am actually on the other side of the river. I listed St Louis because everyone in the US knows where that is and it is quick and easy to get where I am from there. If I listed the actual town where I lived, no one would know where it is and they might assume it is a suburb of chicago, but I am very far away from there. Never even been there.
I think giving a location is a sign that the person is serious about meeting someone and by not giving one is a sign that the person is just playing on the internet or some other deviancy.

heartbrokengirl​(sub female) • Jul 28, 2020

I didn't feel comfortable putting my geographical location on there. Pennsylvania was enough for me. I felt like if I made a connection with someone and they saw PA then they would at least know the state. So if say they had Arizona listed then they would know, hey were not close to each-other maybe I will look for someone closer
My Daddy is from PA but until we started talking neither one of us knew that we are the farthest we could possibly be from each other in the same state. With that being said, we make it work and both of us are willing to make the 6 hour travel to see each-other and do so regularly.
We have talked about relocation and it is something after being with him for almost a year I feel comfortable doing.

I can see your point about at least putting maybe the state or general location so your not talking to someone that you may never have the possibility of meeting. I don't think a city or close by area is necessary

Aquarius Dom​(dom male) • Jul 28, 2020

Not everyone is in the colonies as I’m sure you will appreciate but I do agree with your point , if people are that paranoid then this maybe isn’t the place for them or they are hiding something!
Any City within 30 miles would at least give people something to work on in terms of deciding whether to contact or not !
Oh and I hate when people put Antarctica on here and other sites. !!!

BlushingMess​(sub male) • Aug 5, 2020

I would assume it's a matter of privacy as others have said though I don't think putting your state would ne very damgerous for privacy.

Feileks​(switch female) • Aug 5, 2020

I try to avoid getting hung up over someone who isn't very open about little things like this. It's one thing to not be an open book right off the bat with just anyone, but if you're not going to share the bare minimum with others who are, it feels a bit like predatory behavior. At the same time though, I understand wanting to be safe.