How to Institute Orgasm Control

HisAngel • Mar 8, 2020

DrKrall thank you for your honest reply. I was kinda afraid of that. I struggled some before I was ever put on them but now it's pretty much impossible. I keep having to remind him it's not his fault that I'm enjoying myself it's just the damn medications and unfortunately it's either deal with depression and be able to have an orgasm or vice versa. Mental health is obviously more important lol

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Mar 9, 2020

I read an article a few days ago. Someone was researching female orgasms and they found a person that could think herself into orgasms without any physical stimulation. They then compared this to how the brain works with physical stimulation. Their conclusion was that in reality, a woman's orgasm is all in her head. I think that's why hypnotism works so well. I'm on Oahu right now, but when I get back to the Big Island, I'll try to find the article and post a link on this thread.

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Mar 9, 2020

You can also talk to your doctor about switching to a different medication. some are definitely worse than others.

Island girl​(sub female){Yes owned.} • Mar 9, 2020

Here is a link to one of the articles. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1304258/Yes-yes-yes-How-women-think-way-orgasm--help-man.html

No matter what you have read, or what a doctor tells you, I think you have to stop thinking you can't, and start believing you can, you just have to figure it out! There is a lot of good info in this article, and it isn't the original one I found, either.

HisAngel • Mar 9, 2020

Thank you I will check out the article. I have tried switching meds and with staying in the realm of what my insurance takes it's either deal with these side effects or the depression get worse. Im not sure if there are other options out there that be better but I've tried the ones im able to get. The one I tried to take that helped in this area literally made me violent so that was a no go lol. I just wasn't even myself on it


Its funny I can have an orgasm while sleeping and wake up to it (not strong but it happens) but when I'm concious it's so hard to get there. I think on top of the medications I have a hard time letting myself relax which could attribute to the mental aspect. I just don't know how to fix it.

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Mar 9, 2020

"Its funny I can have an orgasm while sleeping and wake up to it (not strong but it happens) but when I'm concious it's so hard to get there. I think on top of the medications I have a hard time letting myself relax which could attribute to the mental aspect. I just don't know how to fix it."

For women; orgasms are almost all mental. Without training and conditioning the brain defaults to physical stimulation to initiate an orgasm. However if the mind is preoccupied elsewhere even with the correct stimulation it can become very difficult for a woman to orgasm.

I suggest you try and figure out what is holding your mind back from releasing; either you don't have the right mindset to cum or the thing you are focusing your mind on while trying to orgasm is really not working for you.

HisAngel • Mar 9, 2020

I know part of it is my fiance is the first person I've been with sexually. We were each other's firsts so despite the fact that I am the one slowly introducing him to the BDSM world I still get embarrassed/nervous have a hard time letting go of that. It's not always that but I think 75% is. 25% I can be totally relaxed and feel like I'm close and it doesnt matter what mindset I'm in the medication just dulls everything out. I don't exactly know if I'm explaining it right Either way it's frustrating. I know he tends to blame himself despite how much I remind him it's not anything he's doing wrong it's me 100%

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Mar 9, 2020

semiNewsub,

Sounds like you guys both are second guessing each other and stressing over who is thinking what and how and why. He's blaming himself and you're thinking for him and trying to get him more relaxed.

I'm guessing this has happened multiple times and now even before sex the anxiety is on both your minds? that won't work.

Instead don't force it; try and relax into it all. Stop thinking for each other and communicate instead.

HisAngel • Mar 9, 2020

Yes more than once over the past year of having sex. I have anxiety in general so I'm sure that doesn't help. I worry about making him happy he worries if he's making me happy enough so yes what you say makes sense.

Probably doesn't help that on top of that were trying to concieve with zero luck so far. Okay so maybe it's less of the medications than I originally thought. I appreciate the input. It's easier said than done but going to do my best to just let myself enjoy everything and stop worrying so much.

The Number one Sir​(dom male) • Mar 9, 2020

"Yes more than once over the past year of having sex. I have anxiety in general so I'm sure that doesn't help. I worry about making him happy he worries if he's making me happy enough so yes what you say makes sense.

Probably doesn't help that on top of that were trying to concieve with zero luck so far. Okay so maybe it's less of the medications than I originally thought. I appreciate the input. It's easier said than done but going to do my best to just let myself enjoy everything and stop worrying so much."

If you want him to be dominant he needs to relax into the role of allowing you to please him; the more he understands your pleasure is in serving him he will let go of more of his anxiety. We all make mistakes but he sounds like he's overthinking it.

He has to get into the mindset of knowing your urge to please and serve him is what gives you pleasure.