Does being a submissive in BDSM translate to being a follower in normal life?

Shiruba Doragon​(dom male) • Mar 11, 2020

I find that many people (and here I generalise) fall somewhere on the spectrum between the completely Dominant and the completely Submissive, and I suspect that most people fall somewhere around the middle between the two. Also I suspect that many people are unaware of their inclinations in this respect. It is probable that those who are aware of their orientation will move towards one end or the other when in "Play time". Being one or the other does not mean that the person has to dominate or submit to anybody with whom they do not have an agreement., though some people automatically do.

Literate Lycan​(dom male) • Mar 11, 2020

As was covered by the comments prior to mine, it pretty much a personal choice or a personality trait, however you wish to view it. I have found many submissives (not that the number I have interacted with is large, so take that at face value - although honestly most that I tend to interact with fall into a type) to be fairly type A in their professional lives and daily relationships and are only submissive to the One they offer that responsibility to. Look at many of the fierce and strongly independent submissives who post blogs here regularly. Yet they are spectacular submissives to their relationships. To reiterate the standard line, there is no One True Way to be either Dominant or submissive. I do tend to believe (just my perspective - although I’m right 🧐) that Dominants tend to “need” to be Dominant in almost all they do (unless of course this is a fantasy outlet or Friday night fun). Some individuals I have had the pleasure of interacting with as friends are submissive in almost everything, from professional interactions to personal interactions to their relationships. And some high level CEOs (regardless of sex) enjoy being Dominated at the end of the week since they have been making decisions throughout the workday and just want someone else to take the reins. So if you like to be submissive in all aspects of your life, awesome! Or if you only want to be submissive in the bedroom (or kitchen or nightclub or . . . You get the drift) that is awesome too.

MasterBear​(other butch) • Mar 11, 2020

Absolutely not. My beloved is slave identified and absolutely not that thing. One thing does not translate into the other. I have often times scene best types with unhealthy boundaries be basically door mats in real life. But those two choices are two very different things.

rcandee • Mar 11, 2020

I'll have to agree the choice is yours. Some people are submissive and followers, the stress they feel when making important decisions or having heavy responsibilities can make them physically Ill.
Some are leaders, role models who thrive on the energy and challenges of competition but find their peace, their center when it comes to submission in the bedroom.
Some are not bosses, but not followers. Everyday workers who can hold either end of the spectrum. Or a multitude of points between.
The choice lies with you: Are you happy taking orders all day, every day?
Do you love to lay down the law in professional settings, then submit when you get home?
Is working at a job where roles are more open, more fluid, less defined then coming home to a strict set of rules what you enjoy?
....... endless possibilities.
You know what makes you.

RhiannonT​(sub trans woman) • Mar 11, 2020

I'd agree - certainly in my own case as that perfectly describes me. What I will say is that while submission is respite/release/distraction from real life, and submitting to someone is to some degree giving up an element of control, ultimately the controlling aspect of the personality is still there because the sub is in ultimate control of the interaction.