Online now
Online now

everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

FloraDragon​(dom male){Roaming Wi}
2 years ago • May 16, 2020
Aliens land:

Aliens: 'Take us to your leader'.

Me: 'Can't right now, we're going skiing'.

Aliens: 'What's skiing'.

Me: 'Well, first you go to the top of this really, really high mountain that's covered in this cold slippery stuff called snow. The you strap on theses skinny little sticks to your feet, and try to go straight down this steep mountain i a standing position without killing yourself. And if you survive, you stand in a long lie for the opportunity to do it again'.

Aliens: 'Goodbye'.

Me: 'Where are you going'.

Aliens: 'In search of intelligent life'.
Dellydoodah​(neither female)
2 years ago • May 16, 2020
Bob goes to see his friend Pete. He finds Pete in his barn dancing naked around his John Deere. "What are you doing!" asks Bob.
Pete stops dancing and says, "My wife has been ignoring me lately so I talked to my psychiatrist and he said I needed to do some thing sexy to a tractor."
skyrich​(dom male){rottenbrat}
2 years ago • May 16, 2020
A string walks into a bar. The bartender tells him: "We don't serve your kind in here. Get out!", and the picks the string up, and tosses him out the door.

The string, undeterred, goes back into the bar. The bartender says: "I told you, we don't serve your kind in here!", and again tosses him out.

The string enters the bar for the 3rd time, and the bartender get rough with him this time, tossing him out again.

The string is now just beside himself with anger and frustration. He is so upset that he pulls the threads of his body loose, and so frustrated the he ties himself into a knot.

Not ready to give up, he walks back into the bar. The bartender sees him and says: "Hey! Aren't you that string I've been throwing out of here?"

And the string replies: "No, I'm a 'fraid not!"