Bunnie
|
3 years ago •
Aug 15, 2020
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.
Then it dawned on me... |
|
|
Online now
| Keeeks |
3 years ago •
Aug 8, 2020
What do you call a cow that's masturbating?
Beef stroganoff. |
|
|
Bellora1977(sub female)
|
3 years ago •
Aug 8, 2020
What does a penis and a Rubbix cube have in common?
They both get harder the more you play with them. |
|
|
metallwayne70(sadist male)
|
3 years ago •
Aug 8, 2020
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Getting them back in their wheelchairs. What does an 80 year old woman's vagina taste like? Depends What's the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer? The prostitute will quit screwing you when you're dead. |
|
|
|
metallwayne70(sadist male)
|
3 years ago •
Aug 8, 2020
What's the hardest part about eating vegetables?
Getting them back in their wheelchairs. What does an 80 year old woman's vagina taste like? Depends What's the difference between a prostitute and a lawyer? The prostitute will quit screwing you when you're dead. |
|
|
Hypnotist(dom male)
|
3 years ago •
Jul 31, 2020
A ham sandwich walks into a bar.
The bartender says "We don't serve food here". |
|
|
|
Bunnie
|
3 years ago •
Jul 30, 2020
What’s the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?
“Oops!” |
|
|
Dellydoodah(neither female)
|
3 years ago •
Jul 27, 2020
Why can't a blonde dial 911? She can't find the eleven.
How come it takes so long to build a blonde snowman? Because you have to hollow out the head. What did the blonde say when she saw the Cheerios box? "Omg, donut seeds!" Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, 'It’s dark in here isn’t it?' The other replied, 'I don’t know; I can’t see.' What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it? A thought. Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours? Because it said 'concentrate'. Why did the blonde scale the glass wall? To see what was on the other side. Why were there bullet holes in the mirror? A blonde tried killing herself. How did the blonde die while raking leaves? She fell out of the tree. What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. How do you drown a blonde in a submarine? Knock on the door. Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet? So she wouldn’t wake up the sleeping pills. A blonde decided to paint a room. When her husband got home, he asked, 'Why are you wearing an Alaskan and a winter coat?' She replied, 'The can said for best results apply 2 coats.' How can you make a blonde go on the roof? Tell her that drinks are on the house. Three blondes walk into a building. You'd think one of them would've seen it. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. How did the blonde try to kill the bird? She threw it off a cliff. Why can't blondes make ice cubes? They always forget the recipe. |
|
|
tallslenderguy(other male)
|
3 years ago •
Jul 20, 2020
LMAO, i got a good laugh from that The Wild One.
As an aside, i loved the BBC Sherlock Holmes series with Benedict Cumberbatch and Martin Freeman. i have a crush on Benedict and loved how the series played with the notion of Holmes and Watson being gay. |
|
|
Carpophorus
|
3 years ago •
Jul 20, 2020
In the middle of the night, Holmes nudges Watson awake, and says, "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
"I see millions of stars, my dear Holmes." "And what do you infer from these stars?" "Well, a number of things," he says, lighting his pipe: Astronomically, I observe that there are millions of galaxies and billions of stars and planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Meteorologically, I expect that the weather will be fine and clear. Theologically, I see that God is all-powerful, and man, his creation, small and insignificant. What about you, Holmes?" "Watson, you fool. Someone has stolen our tent!" |
|
|