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everyone has a joke in them let's hear your fav

Moonlighter​(dom male)
1 month ago • 10/13/2021 1:50 pm
Moonlighter​(dom male) • 10/13/2021 1:50 pm
Whats brown and green in color, has 6 legs, and can kill you from tree height.

....
.......
...........

A snooker table
EagerToPleaseYou​(sub female){Collared}
1 month ago • 10/13/2021 4:00 pm
A boy and his Dad were on a walk when they saw two dogs humping. The boy asked what they were doing and Dad said, "Making a puppy."

That night the boy accidentally walked in on his parents having sex. The parents quickly covered up. The boy asked what they were doing. Dad said, "We're making a baby." The boy said, "Flip her over Dad! I want a puppy!"
SweetSirRendering​(sub female){Taken}
1 month ago • 10/13/2021 8:03 pm
favorite dark humor joke. don’t judge me please 🙈:

Did you know there are over 4 million women battered each year?

oh? i’ve been eating mine raw.


favorite silly joke:

Person 1: why do elephants paint their toenails red?

Person 2: why?

Person 1: so they can hide in cherry trees. you ever see an elephant in a cherry tree?

Person 2: no.

Person 1: see!?
VictorKingston
1 month ago • 10/14/2021 12:07 am
VictorKingston • 10/14/2021 12:07 am
A pirate walks into a bar wearing a captains wheel as a belt buckle.

The bartender points at it and asks "what are you wearing that for"?

The pirate replies "arrrrrr it's drivin me nuts".
Defender​(dom male)
1 month ago • 10/14/2021 12:12 am
Defender​(dom male) • 10/14/2021 12:12 am
My ex-wife always used to say 2 things about me:

First, that I never listened to a word she said.


And something else.
Balthezor
1 month ago • 10/14/2021 8:46 am
Balthezor • 10/14/2021 8:46 am
What’s black & white, & red all over?

Two nuns in a chainsaw fight…

🤔🤣🤣
LongerJohnny​(dom male)
1 month ago • 10/15/2021 1:43 am
LongerJohnny​(dom male) • 10/15/2021 1:43 am
I actually replied to this thread over a year ago. Still going strong.
I don't know any jokes (I'm just naturally hilarious) so back then I made up this joke on the spot:

The owner of a modeling agency and a man with huge smile across his face walk into a bar.
The bartender asked him "How are you gentlemen today?"
The agency owner replied "We are both very well. I just signed up this new guy as a model in a commercial for a company that sells fine leather gloves."
The bartender asked "Is that why he has that huge smile across his face?"


The agency owner replied "Yeah. Turns out I gave him his first hand job."

(maybe I'll tell this joke again in another year!)