Anal

Anal

jinxforpain​(sub female) • Jul 5, 2020

I hate anal but my bf just expressed interest in fucking my ass. I told him we could work up to it and meant that. The next time we fucked, he fingered my ass while pounding my pussy. I really really enjoyed it at the time, but my asshole still burns two days later. What do I do?

wildGurl​(sub female) • Jul 5, 2020

There are great sites to educate on the subject, how to prepare, ease into it, etc. Being relaxed and more lube than you think you need are good ways to start

Zedland​(dom male) • Jul 5, 2020

Start small. Literally, his smallest finger the pinky. And go slow and you have to communicate what feels good and what you are comfortable with, don't be afraid to call a halt. Also have him wear a glove or trim his nails very carefully, because nails can cut skin which can cause discomfort.

And lube, so much lube.

Noodz​(sub female) • Jul 5, 2020

try a little self play, find out what you do like, what you can take

Annais • Jul 5, 2020

I second the mention of self play. I also think that it helps to be incredibly turned on. Heightened awareness and feeling by the body already being so stimulated has helped me. Also, experiment, lube lube lube and patience. Take it as slow as you possibly can and don't forget to breathe. I hope these tips are helpful! Good luck

Re: Anal

Miki • Jul 6, 2020

But don't lose sight of the fact that you hate it. Granted you're curious enough to try but don't be afraid to tell him it just won't fly.

If he cares, he'll give that idea a "bye".

There are just some thiings a guy (or a gal) will have to accept won't work.

MasterTrainerT • Jul 7, 2020

1. If you hate it dont do it. If he cant handle it his problem not yours. When I took on my current sub I inquired about her hard no's. She had 2 one was no CIM. I try to keep a poker face during this time but I must have failed cause she said "oh no deal breaker?" My reply was not sure i need to think. To me as a Dom my subs have always taken it. (Important point here) I chose to enter into a relationship wth her knowing her hard limits. I never asked her to break her own rule. A month or so ago she asked to talk. Said that my respect for her limits made her want to revisit this one. I told her her rules her choice i would not ask or encourage her to break. She emphasized she was emotionally and mentally ready but wasnt sure how she would react physically. We are slowly adding this.

I say all this because if you hate it you will never relax enough or find pleasure in it. If you, like my sub, have had a change of heart go slow. If a finger hurt you then perhaps he needs togo even slower.

Mr E​(dom male) • Jul 7, 2020

I like MasterTrainerT's point above. Your limits have to be respected. That respect in time, as well as changes in your comfort with it, might mean that can be revisited later. Make no promises, accept no pressure.

Lil Foxy Baby​(sub female) • Jul 7, 2020

I don't like anal. I don't mind a finger but nothing else it's uncomfortable and it hurts and doesn't feel good. I just don't like it.

My Dear{Trust} • Jul 12, 2020

And hit up Amazon or some other site to look at anal toys. There are various sets of graduated anal plugs that will often start very out very small. I found starting in small time increments and adding a few to several minutes a day per training session to be effective. Just, dont start with beads. I dont care for them personally; but, that is partly because I really cannot see a set of beads and not mentally imagine someone starting an old pullstring lawnmower!
(Insert sound of rolling their consonants here!!)

During, BREATHE!!! & focus on the pleasure for yourself and your partner to keep your mind free from anxiety...

Oh, and seriously, IMHO, if he was fucking your bumhole with said finger, that wasn't a great idea. Start with pressure against the hole, pressure...not friction. After entry, again: just BE. Pressure and the sensation of fullness is enough as a start. The skin of your sphincter is very delicate and easily roughed up.
Go to pornhub and look for 'Anal Massage'. There is a guy with the most annoyingly calm voice who I think has the best ideas on introducing someone to anal. He is set up as a massage therapist, and the vid, which is rather long, never goes to sex...so skip those vids.