Orgasm denial.

DrKrall • Jul 16, 2020

"In short, I thought that the point was to get the best orgasm posable, and maybe I was wrong."

BDSM doesn't necessarily equal sex. Therefore it doesn't necessarily have anything with getting the best orgasm possible to do.
It can be sexy and it can even be sex. I personally have a very hard time seperating the two but some do, and this makes it difficult to compare to ordinary vanilla sex.

"But also I just can not see how denial is erotic. I was going to suggest that why not deny something ells, and let them have orgasms, but what? Denying someone food or the toilet is not exactly enticing and taking a favourite position away might just make them depressed."

Denial might very well make a person depressed, but a submissive person might crave denial just as he/she might crave control.
If the sub gets depressed from denial it's in the wrong place with the wrong Master if the Master is all about denial.

LongerJohnny​(dom male) • Jul 16, 2020

Correct me if I am mistaken about your question, but I wonder if the confusion comes from the definition and not the concept. Depending on which you are referring to, 'denial' could have 2 seemingly contradictory definitions for the same word. Sort of like the opposite of flammable and inflammable, where you have 2 seemingly contradictory words but the same definition.

So lets consult the authorities:

Merriam-Webster - Refusal to satisfy a request or desire.
Oxford - The refusal of something requested or desired.
Cambridge - The act of not allowing someone to do or have something.
Dictionary.com - The refusal to satisfy a claim, request, desire, etc., or the refusal of a person making it.

However, in a general BDSM context, and M/s in particular, the act of denying the slave's orgasm could be satisfying to the Master, and the desire to obey her Master - in this case by being denied by him - is satisfying to the slave. 1 word, 1 action, 2 seemingly contradictory definitions, but neither request or desire is actually being denied.

Lots of 'D' words hahaha

So the dictionaries have their definitions, we have our concepts, each exists for it's own sake and without regard for application.
Does that make any sense?

Couple other things,
"In short, I thought that the point was..."
Ok, stop right there. If there is a "point" then ideally it is to satisfy all parties involved, in all or as many ways as possible, notwithstanding the reasons or (SSC or RACK) means.

"But also I just can not see how denial is erotic."
It is probably difficult for many of us to understand how so many people are into so many things. As it turns out, I don't see how tennis or yoga are remotely interesting.

"I was going to suggest that why not deny something ells, and let them have orgasms..."
Because a sub/slave/bottom/whichever may achieve some otherworldly arousal only from being denied, not from anything else.

"Denying someone food or the toilet is not exactly enticing"
Sure it is, if that's what a person is into.

"and taking a favourite position away might just make them depressed."
And taking a favorite thing away just might be what they are into.

To each their own.