Are you a submissive/dominant in all areas of life or primarily sexually?

Are you a submissive/dominant in all areas of life or primar

DesertLizard​(sub female) • Jul 20, 2020

I already spoke to some of you about this question but I am curious what other folks' experiences are. I am still trying to figure out whether I am sexually submissive. I am pretty sure the answer is "yes", given that all of my erotic fantasies involve being sexually dominated, given the kind of erotica that turn me on, and given how various descriptions of the D/s dynamic strongly resonate with me and speak to a deep longing inside myself. However, in other areas of my life, I am the opposite of submissive. I am very assertive, take the lead, am very extrovert, and the idea of "serving" and "pleasing others" in a non-sexual context has hardly any appeal for me. What is more, that's not just a persona I take on out of necessity, it's 100% who I am.

Does this ring true for some of the other subs on here? Or are most of you submissive all around, not just in the bedroom? And what about the Doms? Are you generally just more of an Alpha person, in all areas of life, or is that a side of yourself that mostly comes out in a sexual context?

And what do y'all prefer in a partner? Someone who is submissive/dominant all around or just sexually? Even though I myself am just sexually submissive, I know I am generally attracted to men who are assertive and confident in all areas of life, someone who can at least keep up with me.

tallslenderguy​(other male) • Jul 20, 2020

Biassertive?

i guess we try or like to put things in black or white terms because it makes it easier? i'm sexually sub, and it seems mostly sub otherwise, but i'm not 'slave.' Cleaning your house is not a turn on for me, but i am a natural nurturer. When i was an executive, VP Regional Director, a CEO gave me a Myers Briggs profile test, i scored 99% nurturer and 99% skeptic. The "nurturer" part bothered him to no end, he wanted me to steam role people, not nurture them lol. He fired me even though out of five regions, my office was the making the most profit and had the best growth. If violated his sense of self because he wanted a mini me and i defied him. Was i Dom or sub?

For me, being sub sexually is more bottom than sub? idk, my sexual drive is to be a receptacle for a guy, to be the clay he can mold (sort of). He has the power and control to elicit things in me, puts His signature on me. Possesses me. None of those things seem to be part of my other life, but then, i have a servants job and am a scientist. I'm a critical care nurse.

sir james ladies​(sub female){oh yes ple} • Jul 20, 2020

speaking for us I know my sir was only attracted to alpha women but at home we differed to him in everything. but even in business we took his council to hart and and saw that in many cases he was right but allowed us to make all outside decisions if that makes sense to you. when we came home I can not tell you the relief we felt coming in the door and have a ritual and only that to follow. turn the brain off and just let go.

House Talion​(dom male) • Jul 20, 2020

I'm dominant in all aspects of my life with the complete understanding that sometimes I need to listen and do as advised by others with more experience while other times I must adhere to others of more authority

Cinn • Jul 20, 2020

This is a new journey for me and I have a desire to be submissive. I am assertive, opinionated, and a lot of the times extroverted. When it comes to the sexual aspect of this lifestyle I'm unsure at this point and time. I think I am; however, I have never been in the position to truly know. I am attracted to men that are confident and assertive as well. However, in the right relationship I feel I can be submissive to my partner outside of the bedroom.

TheLittlePrincess​(sub female){SSG} • Jul 20, 2020

I'm kind of an odd mix. I am definitely submissive with mommy. But in normal life it's little bit different. I am more of an introvert so that leads to wanting to be more submissive in new environments or around new people but once I am comfortable I am definitely more dominant. I hate being told what to do and when to do it and not being in charge in my daily life but with mommy I am all too happy to do as she says.
As to what I want in a partner, definitely dominant all around. I don't mean the person has to be 100% dominant 100% of the time, but definitely someone who can make decisions.

Grey Eyes​(sub female){Owned} • Jul 20, 2020

With work I am not submissive. I take on more of an alpha role. At home, I am delighted to have my Sir be a Dominant. We started off bedroom only and then elevated to all of the time except when I work.

ArtfulDodger​(sub female){collared} • Jul 20, 2020

You sound like an alpha submissive. Your words, "I am very assertive, take the lead, am very extrovert, and the idea of "serving" and "pleasing others" in a non-sexual context has hardly any appeal for me. What is more, that's not just a persona I take on out of necessity, it's 100% who I am, " describe me, too. I have only ever submitted to one man -- my superior Dom, the man who uncovered the dormant sexual slut inside me and let her out. In our day-to-day relationship, we treat each other as intellectual equals and love bouncing ideas off of each other, but I know - and HE knows - all he has to do is say "Get on your knees", and the dynamic changes instantly. This is one of the great things about D/s -- you can be two diiffent things at the same time - alpha female and submissive slut - and both are equally true!

Sir Don​(dom male){N/A} • Jul 20, 2020

For me I feel as though I am dominant all of the time. At work i have a roll of being assertive.. at home i am now dominant all of the time . Except while she works. I would never jeopardize her job.

DesertLizard​(sub female) • Jul 21, 2020

This is all super interesting. Love reading everyone's perspective!